An invitation to stop and listen

This information is not mine. It was gleaned (for the most part) from NPR articles that will have links attached. The information is because of an intense discussion conducted with my family about the current US POTUS. They don’t like the man, but they like what he’s done and voted for him. So, asked them to convince me why he had been so good for our country. They didn’t have much time, because they were headed to meetings (it was a dinner discussion), but Little Bear cited an article on T and racism and how he wasn’t. Curious, I also looked after they left, and found some thoughts I felt worth sharing.

Now, the current US POTUS is an interesting character. In an article I didn’t actually complete my reading of because it got too technical, even for a gal with a basic college education, I learned something I felt was curious. The society of today likes to be entertained. They enjoy the messier bits of reality TV and seem to prefer a fast pace o anything visual where results are in a short time. There is an appeal in T with this. He has gotten some things accomplished (his first term was rather changing in the conservative movement of the US, because he axed many things, added others, and pushed through his agenda fairly quick) and absolutely no one has a clue what he’s going to say or do next. He is like a fast moving powerful train on a busy track that hasn’t got a stopping point to actually become a wreck of itself.

After reading Michelle Obama’s book, ‘Becoming’, I realized there was a lot more to being a person in power in the US than most of the biographies I’d read shared. Perhaps, it was because those were biographies and M’s book was autobiography from the side of the president. Reading her book made me realise how complacent I’d become towards the world in general and the US in particular. Granted, most of my time in the last 7 or 8 years has been wrapped up in my mom’s life and debris in a different state where I was disconnected from almost everything but mom, but still, not an excuse!

Looking at T and racism, I learned he was and is not the most racist president the US has had. He couldn’t be, he has no actual slaves. However, three things he has done are call to African nations ‘sh**hole countries’, he was an instigator behind President Obama’s birth in Hawaii not being legal, and he has referred to Mexican immigrants as being ‘rapist’. During one of his ‘debate’s, he touted White Power and The Proud Boys. “In 2020 for a person to be defiant of White Power, that is exceptional”. The article went on to say you could not compare post 60’s presidents to this one or you lose the perspective on why his comments are so dangerous and off center for what we should expect in this period. For past 60’s presidents, we know many were starkly racist in private (Lyndon B. Johnson and Nixon). Yet, there is a difference even there. Nixon, in particular, “understood the importance of governing. He was committed to the idea that the president presides”.

In T’s America First, he’s actually leaving the US on the sidelines. He wanted to use the leverage of the US being #1 in the market and that is waning. Making us ‘Great Again’ or ‘Keeping us Great’ isn’t happening. What was so great about the past? OK, besides 80’s rock and Bugs Bunny and Pac Man? Looking past the trends, I’m kind of fond of progress and normal changes.

Last, I meandered over to election news and started to cry. People encouraging someone else to do violence hurts my soul. During the election itself, a Biden bus had been shoved off the road and T thought it was funny and tweeted for more. Then, just this week, in GA, more of that anger was promoted. It does need to stop. Yes, both sides have broken out in crazy. Both sides have been wrong. But, someone from a place of responsibility needs to take a stand and stop it. Not necessarily police or military, but a voice of reason. Unfortunately, I’m not sure a voice of reason will be heard in this world of liking wound porn (sports injuries) or exciting dissension. However, I’m taking a stand in my spot against it and hope some of my followers will, too.

Let’s invite one another in. Maybe then, we can begin to fear less, to make fewer wrong assumptions, to let go of the biases, the stereotypes that unnecessarily divide us. Maybe we can better embrace the ways we are the same. It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about where you get yourself in the end. There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s grace in being willing to know and to hear others.” Michelle Obama

I tunes

This is more an ‘I’ post. And why I chose Elton John’s song. Life sometimes hurts.

My tummy aches, my head aches, my throat is sore, every so often there is a coff, and my joints hurt. It is probably a cold, but it isn’t much fun. Then, the house money has appeared in my savings account. It sounds good, but it needs to be apportioned out. Yet, little of it will be for me. The house in OR needs to have a lot of the mortgage paid for (Little Bear really thinks all of it is a good idea, because then his dad can save for the future. BUT, I know The Craftsman will not do that, so I’ll pay a poart of it. He says he will do things and doesn’t. He’s been talking about canceling the Dish account for 3 years and finally just paid off the late account again.) Some of the money will go towards mom’s bills and misc things and taxes for her and for me (the house will cost a not so pretty penny. Pretty sure I will NEVER end up gaining more than I give out). The Jukebox Kid still owes me 400$ and the OR house freezer died a few months ago and the desktop the OR household uses doesn’t work as well as it should by freezing (perhaps I can use it for a freezer?!?!?). Now, in addition to the loss of my iPad last winter, my beloved laptop is about to give up the ghost. It also needs a new battery, so I’ll see if one can be found for this 2013 little worn out piece of HP technology. The Craftsman told me to use some of the AK money for myself. I will. Had forgotten, some will need set aside for my cell phone (he’s got TracPhone and that is one plan I seriously do not care for! So, will pay for my own. Although, he robably thinks we should share. He’s been paying for my account since Dec 16, when that stopped working in the north. Granted, it is rarely used in the states, but that and my meds and the lovely gold nugget and jade watch being worked on should be enough of money spent on me.) Mom’s old kindle is a pain in the butt, but it works for the most part, at this time and was told the household kindle is available to use. (Although, I’d need to delete from my account anything “inappropriate”, which is probably a good thing, anyway.) I’d hoped to visit my relatives in MN, but The Craftsman says he won’t go and Little Bear says he has everything he needs right here in EO (he feels well-traveled since the couple of trips to Washington DC and the ones to AK). I suppose that is where I belong, too. The time I had to find myself and the experiences I’ve had are held in beautiful memories. Must keep reminding myself of this. I am not a mama squirrel reaching for unattainable seeds. Or am I???

Squirrel hanging around in the yard.

With the laptop, paper is still a very viable tool. Journals are supposed to be on paper anyway! Plus, it will help me curb my more fanciful thoughts and words since notebooks are everywhere in the house and are easily opened up by anyone. Mum’s laptop is usable. It has been how the taxes were filed the last couple of years, how online banking is done in the house and her journals and datebooks are being put on that. (Slowly….) The photos on my laptop can be transferred to more thumb drives. Many places visited online can also be terminated or put on hold indefinitely.

It is funny. The iPad was a gift that helped me survive the last years of mom’s life. The laptop was a gift my first summer in AK and helped me discover many new things and brought me into WP, also sustaining me while I was north. With the house gone and the car with a potential buyer, all my tangible ties to home are gone. It makes sense the laptop and the iPad are going away, too. I fully expect my cell phone to give up the ghost, soon, too!!! Was sad when my eldest mentioned he’d accidentally deleted our conversation history. It hurts to lose some of those, especially when a person dies. There are two short conversations on mine that belong to dear friends no longer on this side of the sun. They will stay as long as possible. This cute bit I’ll also keep. It is from a friend I was discussing a project Little Bear was doing and the dinner I was making with. Sleep check is sooo annoying!! Lol

All in all, my Tuesday will be busy. Need to call my Alaska bank and see about a phone appointment-perhaps they can help me instead of the one in the city we’ll be passing through on Friday. Several immediate bills need paid and the utilities to the house need terminated. Not sure how to responsibly do that. The realtors told me it’s no longer my responsibility and to just do it. However, my own sense of responsible suggests a need to contact the buyers to let them know so they can get them turned back on ASAP. With the temps up there, an all-electric house without power could freeze fast!! Not to mention, if there isn’t any security on it, someone could get into it. Granted, it is empty, but it is also out in the middle of close to nowhere (not Know Where, as the place where the collector lived. Although, mom was a collector and had a few things of value and lived in an area where natural resources were being mined…..). At any rate, it is a dilemma. Do I ditch being responsible and act in a selfish manner or do I try to figure out how to reach the buyers and let them know? So annoying. I know exactly where they live, I know where their main business is in town, but I don’t have any actual contact information!!! I’ll try to see if I can leave a message at the main place. CRAZY!!

Photo by Markus Distelrath on Pexels.com

Where am I?

One of my hardest things to do is to write without using the word ‘I’. When writing in a journal, it is well-nigh impossible to erase that tiny little word that stands so tall.  So, it is used. Often this blog is called ‘My Unfiltered Facebook’, so it is also where that word is over used. Will try to see where it can be replaced and where not!

At the moment, Oregon is going into a several week lockdown. Almost everyone is angry because it is infringing on their rights to live the way they see they should. There is no reasons for a police state. If I wat to do what I want, I should.  Americans have never been very good at following rules, which is why (in a small nutshell) we broke away from England in the first place!! The good old USA is also, as our local librarian said, ‘going bonkers’. (she is bringing me Michele Obama’s book ‘Becoming’. Which I will keep from Little Bear’s view as he detests anyone on the ‘other side’) I’m also waiting for a book, ‘Election Meltdown’ by Richard Hasen. That one looks fascinating. It intrigues me to follow our current POTUS. He’s so selfish and narcissist and it is so hard to understand why anyone trusts him. Although, one article suggested it is because he is the quintessential white guy and thus he fulfills the manliness of men. Shudder!!! Give me a man like Bond!!! (almost any of the Bond actors would be nice!)

The last weeks have been difficult. One of my dearest friends from the north unexpectedly died. The one who kept me the last night in my hometown. Who had the cool creepy glow in the dark angel that was shared a blog post or so ago. She gave me a chocolate chip cookie recipe that has been made 3 times since my return to the states. Twice since her death. Tasty little treat legacy.

Sent my sister a treasury check from the post office for her birthday, she’s not responded. In all honesty, there is a good chance she’s not checked her mail. (it is a cluster box about 20 feet from her drive) It was sent before the 4th. The house in AK had another extension filed, but yesterday sent off MORE notarized papers to the title office. By this time next week, it might be a done deal.

It has been educational. The last time a title exchange was made, with me as a participant, it was in an office and involved two of us. Most of my actions were listening and signing when told. So, a lot of this was new to me. Thank goodness for the internet!! (The Craftsman wasn’t exactly sure on many of the questions that came up, either.) One of the oddest things was something called a FedWire Routing Number. Now, on every checking account there is a routing number, had no idea they were the same for each branch AND that there was a different one for something called a wire transfer. If the wrong one was written, they’ll contact me to let me know and more pages will need faxed back and forth!! Once it is a done deal, then the power company and security company and the phone company can be notified. A relator friend reminded me to do that as soon as possible. She told me it is amazing how many people take advantage of a person who hasn’t disconnected utilities yet.

The weather here has definitely dropped into autumn. Not the vibrant dress of late summer (as in the first photo-my friend who died gave me that bra. comfy and cute), but the stark lines of almost winter. The trees have been now stripped by high winds and water is dripping from limbs like ink from too wet calligraphy. There was snow, the neighbor’s down the way had their kids build a snowman. It was about 4 and a half feet tall before it melted into the grassy sward. Perfect outdoor exercise! Building snowpeople is one of my favorite things, unless I’m under the weather. Which has been the case. Between glucose and some kind of cold and tired to bits and achy, staying inside and doing a few household chores is about it. Plus, missing my friend.

It is odd. Losing her is harder than losing mom. Granted, this lady was much nicer than mom. She helped me, commiserated with me, and encouraged me. She would also tell me grieving is important, but then, if she was here right now, she’d laugh and tell me to suck it up, buttercup and live. Ran across this quote on a pancreatic page from FB. “We are not promised tomorrow, so let’s love with all our hearts today.” It needs amended to this, “We are not promised tomorrow, so let’s live and love with all our hearts today.”

Selfish.

Being a selfish human being, I understand why people are. We like what we want and tend to go out of our way to get it. Yet, it isn’t a nice trait to have. My writing a blog about myself is selfish. It started, as many of you know, because of mom. Now, I just write.

mom and my sister’s old dog.

I’ve been avoiding FB due to the upcoming election in the US and popped online for a moment and found my sister’s dog had been put down. But, I was confused. She had told me weeks ago they were going to do this and then I see her post shared from a lost and found pets page talking about horrible injuries! So, I sent a message and she called. To tell me that he had been run over in the road (the dog LIVED in the road and people stopped to give him treats or honk or yell) by someone who gave him a treat and then the dog had bled out in the yard, so they took him in because he couldn’t do much but drag around on his front legs. Confused, I asked how come they took him to a vet if he’d bled out. Well, it appears it was just seriously bleeding for four hours and he wasn’t eating or drinking and his bones were crushed in a paw. She then told me Gigman didn’t want to add to 2020 by having the dog put down and since their daughter was having her wisdom teeth out, it was just too much for this year. But, after they did, FB ‘blew up’ over it. I asked why she posted the old dog’s passing on such a public venue, because that is probably why it ‘blew up’. She then said the dog was a community dog and people in FL who visited would ask about the dog online. I suggested a sign saying the dog was gone would have been less stressful, but she said people would come in the drive and honk to give out treats or ask how they were (she has two) and FB is the fastest way to share information. Then, she got pissed at me for trying to understand why she was upset at how fast it spread after sharing it online and hung up. I’m sorry the dog was finally put down, I should not have tried to understand her point of view, and I should have been more caring and reasonable. Especially as the responsible older sibling. She already sees me as selfish because I didn’t leave her the car and the house is in my name. Now, I’m even more awful.

My fancy new sensor failed this morning. A bit more than 24 hours before the 14 days. However, I understand why. I’d caught my arm in doors twice and the door of the freezer section in a store once and snagged the sensor on a towel once. I find it funny I go through doors now trying to keep my shoulders in, when I’m not exactly The Rock. It is nice to have it gone for now. I’ll see if I can afford more.

The house is still pending. I e signed another extension. I’m trying to get the guys to plan out their next month instead of waffling along saying they have to do things and not getting them done. I tend to not be incredibly organised, so I’m not sure why I want them to try it. I reckon it is cuz I get frustrated with their whining about not having time to get things done. Someday it would be nice to not be so responsible. (I am not getting the laundry done today, Little Bear hasn’t quite got his done yet and I am waiting it out. I did put his dishes in the dishwasher so I could run those…)

Then, there is the most selfish man of all, hell bent on another term in office. Apparently, he’s well liked by most men. Not entirely by all women. This person has polarized our country so much there are marriages and families and friendships that have been torn asunder. It is like being in a modern civil war. Where is grace or forgiveness or gentleness in mankind when it comes to religion or politics? Is that core of selfish so strong within that we don’t see sunsets or the petals in a flower or the flavors in chocolate?

Mon’s photo from when I was probably 8.

I am Dandelion-hear me roar!

I just finished an absolutely wonderful story. Amelia 1868 is a ghost story full of searching and betrayal and love and forgiveness. I have had it on my ‘to read’ list for several years and never managed to get to it. I was going to read it on the plane coming back from AK, but was sidetracked by my own longings for a place I didn’t want to leave. I finally started it and had a hard time putting it down. Oddly, there were some bits that didn’t mesh properly (like how the main character had this great dog that every so often vanished in the story line, when it had been rollicking along with the character page after page), but it was ok. The author once in a while uses the same words in subsequent paragraphs (‘While I no longer’ and then a bit later, ‘While I no longer.’), but it wasn’t horrible. I also had to read the last few pages a couple of times to make sure I was reading it properly. The two main characters suddenly became the main character ghosts, as well as themselves, and even if it was odd, it worked! Yet, the one thing that kept coming past me was love and forgiveness. In fact, in the last sentences, the author wrote this, “I’ve learned that forgiveness is the key to letting go and freeing oneself of the burdens of the past.” Which I happen to agree with myself.

good heavens, I feel OLD!

Driving today, I was thinking about the different kinds of love there are. I didn’t focus on the Greek words or even muskrats, but wandered into my own ideas. I wondered if I had been a zombie lover. The kind of person who walks around blindly, roughly grabbing love from any and every one and then tossing more love away like confetti hearts before blithely walking on. I don’t want to be one of those.

I then thought about my favorite yard flower, the true DYF (Damn Yellow Flower). So often our yards are infested with yellow flowers of dandelion like origin, but only a few thousand are actually the wonderful not-weeds-to-me I love. (there is that word again!) I started smiling as I was driving and decided I need to be more like a dandelion! A simple, bright coin of petals (not always wanted, but always there!) nestled and thriving almost anywhere possible. A plant that can be used for medicine or food or picked by little hands and given as a gift. Eventually, these golden buttons on a green waistcoat turn into magical fairy orbs that burst apart with a breath to land and make more! Wouldn’t that be a wonderful way to love and be? To spread love with a breath, to be love that glows and gives in so many ways, to be ordinary and magical in different seasons, and to be there when needed.

This morning I was feeling a bit useless again. It is like I came back to Oregon to cook and clean and bake (a totally different kind of cooking!!) and I’m tired. I so wanted to sell the house and use a portion of it for me. It will and it won’t. When I said, a bit jokingly, that I could use the money I’ve been paying house bills in AK with for my meds, The Craftsman agreed and said it would help. The laptop I brought back from AK (mom’s) is being used for ‘important’ things since all the other technology is a bit aged and not compatible with tax or banking programs. I had wanted to use it to type mom’s dozens of journals into. I probably still can, it just will have other things on it. The house needs a new large freezer (Little Bear lost 7 containers of ice cream at one go. He was a bit upset! Photo is of the upstairs freezer one year, before I objected to having no room for venison. He now keeps the frozen sweets at his grandma’s. A few blocks away!) and I’ll probably need to buy that. At least, I am going to pay for the fixing of my watch. Not sure when I’ll get it back, but I can wait. It isn’t exactly a useful watch, but unlike the most wonderful K’ixie thigh highs I purchased before leaving AK, I can wear this most anytime!

I wasn’t chosen for the jury I thought I’d be chosen for. The labs I was supposed to get today will end up being done next week, I can’t just drop in. (the physician was very annoyed, ‘You may have a UTI and you have to wait until next week to pee in a cup???’) No one came home until very late for the very excellent dinner I made (Little Bear insists it needs sent to a lab to find out what proportion of spices I added, since I just added and didn’t measure). They left again to visit Grandma, it is her birthday. (I did suggest things they could get Grandma and I made her a cake. I didn’t want to go up. She’s never really forgiven me for marrying her beloved son. Although, she loves the grandsons!)

However, I imagine I am not entirely useless. I am a dandelion and I will glow and grow and infest your yard with forgiving bright joy. No matter how often you step on me or mow me or pull me up, I’ll be there!!! ! (NOTE: I’ve probably written this same post once before! Lol

More Absurdity

Two years ago today, mom died. Two years ago today, I was angry. I’m still angry. I was screaming mad the morning of Sept 24. Now, I’m mostly numb and tired.

Started out by hearing from the thrift store woman who was supposed to pick up things last night. Her spouse, who had the truck and was driving with a broken arm, almost hit a moose and hurt the truck. (Thank goodness the spouse was Ok. Moose are not vehicle friendly!) I opted to try and find other places to take the stuff and learned that the local Salvation Army (I did not want to donate there, but am willing to do anything now) also has their truck down. The original lady (I really like her!) will come out on Sunday.  I have no idea what to do with the organ, the holiday stuff I will take to the SA when I can. The Jukebox Kid also texted, he wants some more things and to have his family take me out to dinner when I get north. (I’m not sure I’ll have time!) My plans are a bit of a mess, but whatever.  

I had a great deal of help today and I got a call from my sister. She offered Gigman’s help on Friday to haul stuff to the dump. I HAVE people who can take things to the dump, I need people who can drive all over to donation places!!!! (many are taking stuff, I just need to get it there.) I had just posted on FB that I thought all of mom’s holiday stuff was headed to the dump, so maybe that is where she got the idea I needed help with trash. She isn’t a fan of Easter or Christmas anymore, so it is all trash to her. I, thankfully, had all the holiday boxes marked as such. I thought it might be easier for the people in the stores. It will also be easier for me to find them!! The helpers got the entire basement cleaned out and tidy. I even had some return later to move a file cabinet. (it does need to be sent to the dump, but Gigman can’t do that. It is too heavy!)

So, after everyone left, I decided to run some items I had put in my car to the local rec center. I dropped them off and felt very sad for the two teens in lovely party dresses having photos taken in the cold drizzle. I headed to the post, but heard game pieces sliding around in a box when I started to park. Oops, I forgot to drop off the games and puzzles! So, back to the rec center I went (the poor girls were sitting on a blanket playing a hand game, still in the rain, amidst the fall colors). I opted this time to forgo the post and just go home. Good thing, on my way home I realized I’d forgotten to put a stamp on the letter!!!

Once at the house, I turned off the alarm, went into the living room and noticed the front door was open and the screen door unlocked. I’d forgotten to close and lock them last night! (there isn’t much in the house, most of it is in the garage and the alarm was on out there) I went online to learn my carry on for Alaska Air is too large by three inches. My second bag (a tote) is over 50 pounds and will cost $100, but it won’t fit the pink carry-on bag. It had been mom’s and it is a very nice short stay bag, if I can get it back to OR. The tote also needs secured with duct tape.

Then, my sister called back again. I told her a bit of what I’d been doing and she wanted to know if I wanted her to go with me to drop mom’s ashes off a favorite fishing bridge. No. I told her I didn’t, we had gone to Homer together to spread ashes and I would do this myself. Besides, she had just gotten home and didn’t need to come out again. She said it wasn’t that far and I thought, ‘then why haven’t you come out to help or get things you want???’ She also wanted to make sure I knew Gigman could help me on Friday. I said I didn’t have much trash, but would he be able to get the things she wanted, unless she didn’t want them anymore. She got a bit snippy and said ‘I suppose we can get those now.’ (Seriously?) I then mentioned I would be here because the realtor was coming. (I’d forgotten she didn’t know I was using a realtor)  Jake got more pissy. Because I didn’t ask for her help in choosing one and she hoped the company would ‘do well for me’. I’ve been scream swearing at mom and my sister the last minutes, in between typing. (Someday, I hope I’m finally good enough for someone without having them want to ‘fix’ me or ‘make me better’. ) I’m also waiting for someone who said they were going to be here this evening, it is after 630 pm. I was hoping to get pizza for dinner, but I reckon I’ll be ok with sandwich meat and a tortilla with some flavored water a neighbor brought me.

Honestly, my neighbors are better friends than my sister.

Speaking of friends, when I took mom out, I stopped to drop off the title to the car. A friend will handle the money part of the selling for me, so I don’t need to sell it for pennies. I also didn’t drop all of mom. It was super dark and I was a tad nervous being so far up above the water!  I’ll do the rest in daylight, when I can see where I’m spreading her! (I lightened up the photo a LOT)

A New W..eeeeek!

The last post I tried to write was too long by more than a page. It was an attempt at trying to condense the previous week. It didn’t work well. I sent a letter to a friend and decided to try to put it in an outline form. That was also several pages. The week before was definitely something from a journal of the absurd. I actually own a volume by that name. It has some crazy stories in it, the week just experienced would rival many of them! I’ve not read emails this last week, I’m behind and running out of time. (good book by Margaret P. Haddix) so, EEEEK!

So, I’ll start with this week and add a few photos now and then. I have next to me a large coffee cup half full of pink bubbly. It isn’t as tasty as I remember, but it will be the last one I drink. There are a great many lasts in these middle days of September. Today, in particular, I signed off on papers to start the sale of the house. I sold the lawn furniture (picnic table and chairs and what not). I also sold the kayak. It about broke my heart, but it was necessary. I visited the bank with a great deal of cash I needed to put in my account. About $450. I’d already taken out the third for my sister and the money for a paving stone in a memorial park. (With winter coming, they won’t set it in place until spring. It doesn’t matter, it is done). I realized, again, just how awful math is as I added and subtracted and finally got the same answer more than once and chose it. (note: saw a GREAT license plate today. Ksirah. I’d love that plate myself, especially if it had a ‘2’ after the word to square sirah. It is still my favorite motto!) I took a bird feeder and shepherd’s hook to a lady who expressed an interest in one. (she was so surprised I saved one out for her!) I also took the expensive urn, smashed it, and tossed it deep into the muck of the inlet. (Little Bear was appalled. He said cleaned, it would make a nice small cookie jar. I cannot imagine it, myself.)

When the guys were here last week, they were crazy busy. On Friday, the Jukebox Kid visited and paid us most of what he owed. Saturday morning, early, my sister texted asking if I’d found a couple of toys. Later, the person watching the animals texted to say the kitties were fine. (my phone works up north. Little Bear’s works some. The Craftsman’s doesn’t work at all) About an hour and a half later, I had a thought, and texted her, ‘How is the bunny?’ She replied, “What bunny?” She thought the rabbit was at Grandma’s and would be ok. She dashed to the house and found an alive, but very hungry rabbit. Jake then discovered the guys were leaving around noon and opted to visit. (they were also given the grand made from the sale of their jukebox) She mentioned to The Craftsman that she was a slacker. He doesn’t see her very often and rarely talks to her, he half jokingly responded, ‘Yes, you are.’ Which is why I think she wants to visit this week sometime to help me. (She is also looking for some things I didn’t sell that she wants) When they left after their short visit on Saturday, the teen daughter asked me as she carted off an armload of stuff, “Auntie Krit, do we need to pay for the stuff we are taking?” I laughed and said no.

I must admit, in the four weeks the guys have been here over the last 6 years, they have gotten more done than any 8 people. I wish I could have given them a day of ‘fun’, but there wasn’t time. Little Bear did drag a boat around with the kayak and a pole and later anchored it on the lake. (Father Goose, maybe. Cary Grant, not at all!!!) One day was super nice and when we walked on the one almost sandy beach, I was barefoot. We did visit the sunset a few different nights. So, there were some good moments in the midst of the ridiculous experiences of the week! Now, it is raining and overcast. I wore light blue and sparkles on Tuesday because I knew it would be a rough kind of day. I’m going to miss this place so much! Especially, the kayak…but EO water is quite a journey from the house I live in. it wasn’t conducive to bringing it back. It is super smoky in EO at the moment, so not looking forward to getting a flight south. I’ll have to do that soon.  I’m now over long again. I’ll post more when I get a chance!

Again, I play Catch up

I think about how much has happened in the last days and I’ll just have to cliff notes it.  First, a realtor photo I missed sharing.

Because a kitchen bath is so handy when eating pears.

The ring is still unknown. So, I claimed it for the story. I did learn that it wasn’t dad or mom or the cat, only because it couldn’t be. The jeweler said it is a ladies ring and the markings were 14K and the star and letters are probably that of a maker. So, I took the rest of the ashes down to the inlet and let the wind take them hither and yon. I said aloud, “I’m not sure who you are, but this a great beach to belong to. Super awesome sunsets and fishing. You’ll like it here.”   

Sometime last week, I discovered how difficult it is to wrap items in plastic wrap. I’ve done millions of cookies for mailing (do remember, putting cookies in those sealed up plastic packages makes crumbs. Soldiers will add milk and eat them like cereal. So, if you ‘seal a meal’ cookies, add spoons!), but large items of furniture are totally different!!! Squares and rectangles aren’t too bad, chairs are awful!!! The kids I paid (I should have paid them more than 60$) wrapped the hope chests in record time by working together and they took the first lots to my sister late afternoon and the chests while I was gone the next day. My sister did visit with her family twice. Both times they took things, so I was thankful.

The dentist said my teeth have something I can’t pronounce, he said to schedule an appointment for Friday. So, I did. It is the day before The Craftsman and Little Bear arrive for a week. I had no idea they were coming up. I will get a lot more finished, but am pretty sure I won’t have everything done around here by the time they want to leave.

I’ll do a ‘$5 more or less’ estate sale this Sat and next and call it good. I was hoping to have a few more things gone before I did a sale, but oh well (Jukeboxes and totes and..).  I also need to get the septic checked again. The latter annoys me, I’ve used water for not every day showers, the toilet, and to nominally wash hands and brush teeth. But, something isn’t as right as it was in June.  It’s been almost a year since the last work was done. It probably thinks I’m ignoring it!

And I should not be upset over little things. It was late, so I sent The Craftsman short note about the wind we’ve had here this Monday and how it knocked down a tree at the neighbors and I heard sounds of ones falling on this side. I said I was sure he was busy and to pack warm clothes. Then I sent a photo of the down tree (it is pretty obvious if you see photos of the place often, or if you were here a week last summer and looked across the lake everyday..that wasn’t nice. I need to stop being sarcastic.). I then said love you, sent xoxo’s and texted a goodnight. He responded with ‘Nice picture dear, thanks. Goodnight, my love.’ I’m such a bitch. Little things should NOT frustrate me! I’m a bigger person than the septic needing attention or abrupt texts or having the house so cold because heat costs or or frustrating WP changes or places like FB who flagged my selling post about this adorable moose cookie jar. About 12 inches from hoof to antlers and 7 from hip to hip. Hoof to tail, about another 7 inches. He’s only 20$ and FB doesn’t like selling animals. (livestock like chickens are called breakfast makers..)

Kris will smile (instead of spitting into the wind) and she will prevail!!

Not My Responsibility.

These two quotes made me realise something. I almost felt like Phil from Groundhog Day (not plural, it is a singular word and title) when he said he wasn’t going to play by their rules any more. I am not responsible for my sister coming to get her things. Because I care about her getting what she wants, I will pay a couple of young men to take them to her house. Apparently, some moving companies only take things to the door. I think I’ll ask the kids take them inside, but not to help move them around inside. Just so they aren’t left on the dirt driveway outside the house. I’ll keep one box here cuz there are a few things Princess might want that are here and others that Jake might. I am not responsible for her actions when she gets mad at me for doing things without telling her (thinking about a sale this next weekend) or bringing her the things she is too busy to get. In order to be fair, she did just have her daughter (the younger one) prepare and sell a goat and Jake cannot let something that important be done without her being a helicopter parent (hovering, helping, doing, and saying Pippi did a great job all by herself). So, the last weeks have been pretty busy. Especially, the one where Pippi was gone. Perhaps Jake was planning on coming out next week, but I have a lot of things going on next week and tip toeing around my sister’s feelings is not what I want to do. (I know, I’m so darn mean!)

It was rather liberating when the suggestion was made to just take them to her house. Princess, my niece, is supposed to be here this weekend. Jake is going to ANC to get her. I was asked to go, but up and back in her rig would be wearing and I am NOT going to let her take mom’s.  (Jake calls it a turn and burn.)  I am responsible for my own world and not hers. We do have connections. For her, more than 50 years of them! She goes on and on about how important family is, yet I don’t hear from her unless she wants something or I call or text and I’ve seen her once since I’ve been in AK. She did send me a FB query about a ceramic container she was wondering if I still had. As Strider said, ‘Mom, she could just come out before or after work and look herself. She only works a few miles from Nana’s house.’ He is right.

As I was told while visiting the post office (and probably another time, but it didn’t stick then!!), ‘If it is important to you, you will remember.’ (does not refer to mislaid items such as glasses or car keys or papers or my checkbook) If this had been important to my sister, she’d do it and not put it off. I texted the Jukebox Kid and he called and talked to me for an hour and 57 min (and 3 seconds). He was worried because I was trying to figure out, via texts, how to get the boxes to him ASAP. He thinks probably Monday he’ll be down. We’ll see!!! The realtors who visited last week are mailing me papers. I might even get to see TnT, too (I have things to bring him and he’s incredibly busy)!! Plus, the Book Lady may be here to snap up some stories. Although, I might meet her in town and drop off my donations to the thrift store that was closed on Monday (they help support the local animal shelters). I also need to contact Jewel again. She didn’t come by when she said she would (she’s newly married and her husband’s son killed himself about a month ago, so I’m not upset at all she wasn’t here yet.). Another lady who is homeschooling stopped by and chose a lot of materials from mom’s school teaching helps. Packed up lighthouses. I have 6 more, but will wait and see if Princess wants any of them first. I find it rather amazing I’ve packed away or donated or sold almost every single light house mom had. (Except the jackets..I forgot those were in the closet! ARRG!)

 It will be another busy week in a different kind of way. A getting rid of stuff way with perhaps some shining pearl parts for me. (I did get out in the kayak finally. It was nice, but it really isn’t the same lake I grew up on. Lots of people and pets and a lack of privacy.) 

Difficult Thankfuls

I have two friends with the same name. One is a bit older than me and is one of the wisest, kindest, get her done kind of souls. The other is younger than me by a bit, also kind, will do things, but is definitely different! They were both here on the same day at different times this week. The first one has helped in this house from early 2017. The other worked in the hospital when we were there in fall of ’16. The former Jewel took photos of a couple of pieces of furniture (ones mom bought in late ’15 and barely used.). One is a lift top coffee table that is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen and if my sister saw it, she’d want it in a second. Mom kept things on it, but thankfully, never used the lift part or the inside drawers. She paid 695$ for it. It has worn edges and a mark on the top from something. The other item is a 1900$ queen hide a bed that is heather in color and pristine. It has been used probably 5 weeks as a bed. Maybe a bit more. Her dad is moving to a new house and he wanted newer furniture. I might be able to get a quarter of the cost, maybe. It will be tons more than if my sister took it, though!

The second Jewel came and talked to me for over an hour about ‘what are you going to do with this?’ “I can’t believe how much stuff your mom had.’ ‘Have you checked with the bookstores in town to get rid of these books?’ ‘Have you asked K if she can help you get rid of these?’ ‘What will you do with this stuff?’ And on and on, almost cyclic. We went out for dinner, got back to the house, and proceeded to move some stuff around. (“You know, your sister really needs to come and get the things she wants. If she does that and other people get things, you will start to see how much more room there is.”) Jewel 1 also said my sister needs to get her stuff, she also told me I need to stand up to her and stop being so giving. I laughed. Jewel 2 made me laugh, too. She kept looking in cupboards to see what was left, opening up containers of food on the counter (I need to put those in the fridge!), and suggesting how I could offload things.  Not many boundaries on Jewel 2.

Anyway, Jewel 2 is supposed to be here this afternoon to help me and I stayed awake quite a while last night tossing around. I think I have a better plan. We’ll see how it pans out. I want to do a lot of outside stuff and the sky right now is clear..on the left! Jewel 2 drove over 180 miles to help me, she has her own agenda, and is constantly telling me how she can help.

She was here. Her help was phenomenal. I did offer her usage of the shower -she’s staying in a dry cabin. No water at all, except it is on a lake. I did remind her it had to be a short shower, she thinks she’ll be ok. (she’ll be glad to get back to her condo!) We moved a ton of boxes to the shed where I can have people look through them. (I had a low glucose and had to stop, she muttered to herself the entire time she was working. I laughed. She seems like the kind who needs someone to talk to, even if it is herself!) We moved the free standing closet from my room and accidentally marked the beautiful linoleum when it slipped from our hands. We drove to town and back to deliver some stuff to donate. We packed up some dishes for her to get rid of in a larger city where more people might find a use for them. All in all, it was nice. Difficult, but nice. I finally had to start saying to her questions, ‘I don’t know.’ She kept telling me she did trash runs every day cuz there was so much she needed to get rid of in her dad’s house after he died. I do have a great deal of empty boxes and such, once I get those gone, it will make a lot more space.

It is a stunning evening and I’ll make dinner and work in the basement. I sort of want to visit the beach, too. I probably should do the Inlet. Tomorrow is Friday and if it is nice, the shore will be packed! Some people are messy and I prefer not being around those sorts. (I did head to the water, no photos, though, these are from during the week.)

In other news, my cell phone has been very wonky, the internet is odd. I need to buy more sunflower seed. The rain earlier this week looked like glitter on the lake, but it didn’t photograph well! And the clouds tonight look like giant lavender scraps of cotton balls stretched out on the blue and pale pink sky.