Diabetes and Spiders

Odd title, but bear with me!! (not BARE, sheesh!)

Tuesday was a rather interesting day. I had a doctor appointment at 1030 and labs at 10. Thankfully, they were in the same building, but I wasn’t called for the labs until 1015. Now, I’m not a very good blood draw and since I was also scheduled for a pee test, I asked if I could do that part before the blood part. Thankfully, the phlebotomist said yes! I then was settled in what appeared to be the break room in a reclining chair. After looking over both arms, she proceeded to go into the left one at the elbow section. I was doing my best to not pay attention, but was a bit surprised to overhear a soft, ‘oh.’ (turned out my veins were not cooperating as well as she’d have liked, but she prevailed and it worked!)

I went to my next appointment and as I walked in, was called. This one was…I’m trying to think of a word to describe how I felt. Thankful. That is the best one. My Diabetes person jumped on my desire for a CGM or a continuous glucose monitor. This is a device that constantly monitors a person’s glucose without finger pokes, in a nutshell. The one she fitted me out with is called a Freestyle Libre 2. It is not covered by my insurance, but she said she was going to get my information sent to somewhere else where it would be less expensive for me to buy the things out of pocket. I hope so, the little parts that are stuck in the body are spendy buggers. They do last for 14 days and allow for unlimited testing during that time, has alarms if it goes too high or too low, can be worn in water, and has several other sorts of bells and whistles. It won’t tell me the reading, but all I need to do is move it over the sensor on my skin and see what it says. It can be connected to a phone, but I’m not going to use that feature. It does have an insensitive touch screen, but the most amazing part is how this reader and sensor are cutting edge technology already being replaced by the company! This was available in the US about June of this year. There is a new one hitting the markets overseas in a couple of months! (which is probably why my insurance doesn’t cover it yet. The insurance also requires extensive information on how often tests are taken, what amount of medication is used, and verification of this data by the physician and whether or not the patient actually needs it.) The video is long and informative.

I enjoy this guy. He makes me laugh and is helpful.

The little reader is about the size of an old fashioned flip phone and the sensor in my arm is about the size of a couple of stacked US quarters. Two things that made me laugh about this amazing technology were these. 1) The sensor is placed in and on the skin using an easy to place and use holder that essentially pushes the needle into the body and adheres the sensor to the skin. Mum had something similar for her insulin pump and we used it each time she needed it, until it was accidentally thrown away in a hospital setting as just an odd looking bit of plastic. This Freestyle piece about the size of a K cup is disposable. It cannot be reused again. 2) The reader of several hundred dollars has a life span of 3 years. I have had glucometers that use strips for many many years and they are still useful, outliving their expensive pricing. If there is one thing I have learned about Diabetes over the decades I’ve lived with it, it is never cheap and it is big on disposal. Syringes, strips, tubing, little electronic doohickeys, packaging, lancets, lancet devices, and what not. The other very odd thing I found, I need to verify. From my reading, it appears the reader won’t work if the temp is under 50 degrees F and above 115. (does this mean it is an inside only item and do I need to sleep with it next to me to keep it warm since there are some nights in winter here in EO where the house drops below the 60 degrees F of what the inside night temp is set at??—that was a bit of a run on!!)

The next part of my Tuesday was a life lesson. I think. I had gotten out to the car and opened an energy bar. While I was eating it, I noticed an intrepid spider scurrying up the antennae. I watched it for quite a while as it sat there. I even photographed it! I was incredibly curious why it had climbed to the top of this long antennae and what it was thinking. But, I did need to leave, and hoped the car vibrations would encourage it to climb back down. The parking lot was really bumpy, I noticed it carefully climbing down a few inches, then opted to pull over to let it get someplace safer. It stayed about half mast! I kept an eye on it as I drove to the first stop light. It was clinging valiantly to the vibrating antennae and moved a few inches lower at the first light. At the second light, it moved back UP an inch!! (it was a long light) Unfortunately, from there it had to hold on tight as I drove on the highway at 55 mph. There were a couple of more lights, but it didn’t seem inclined to move much further down the rod to a safer locale. About 25 minutes (or so) into the ride, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it lift up a few legs and it was gone. I was very sad. In just 7 more miles it would have been safe on a parked antennae. How often do we as humans cling desperately to something precarious, only to give up at the last second, when hope is around the corner? (I was going to say ‘the end is around the corner’, but there was a car behind me and I’m not sure if the little thing survived flying through the air at high speeds, so it may have been the end!)

I was then distracted by an orange gas light. Apparently, I’d been using the car and forgetting to fill it! As I got into town, I heard an alarm go off. Not ever having driven this rig to practically empty, I wasn’t sure if it was the vehicle. Thankfully, it was from my bag. The new CGM was alerting me it was ready to use and told me so for quite a while! (it needed to wait an hour to start.) I just went home and gave the kid money to put some gas it in it later! Technology!

On Sunday’s Eve

I’m pretty tired tonight. For the first time in ages, I was able to feel well enough to work i the yard. But, it was too much all at once. The iris bed of yellow and burgundy flowers needed to be thinned years ago. Not being in the area, I didn’t do it. This spring, they were already growing. Didn’t have the heart to hurt them by moving them. Anyway, I got most of the patch of yellows done. The ground is pretty solid underneath the grass and the grass is stuck hard in the rhizomes. (Life is often like that. Crowded roots hinder growth and aggressive weeding is needed to let in light and those things we need to survive.) The rhizome below has grass roots woven in with iris ones. Messy.

I also found a few surprises in the yard. Violets (not many, but a few!!) blooming, ladybirds, and bright dandelions!! Odd. That photo has 3 dandelions in it. I shrank it quite a bit, too!! Piffle.

The kid moved a pregnant mantis for me, I learned both sexes of mosquitoes buzz, and that it must be getting chilly because wasps are moving into the basement entryway to rest on the walls. (YIKES!!)

But, I’m tired. On another bright side, I may get to spend a couple of hours with The Craftsman by ourselves on Friday. We might go for a drive. He has the day off, but is helping a local farmer with an unexpected big project. That absolutely needs done before the weather deteriorates. However, there is a hope to spend some time together and that is pretty nice. I think the last time we did something alone (besides sleeping in the same bed) was probably Feb 2018. Or maybe in the fall of last year. You’d think I’d remember when they are so rare!! Silly, Kris. lol Thankfully, sunsets happen a lot more often and are always wonderful!

I am Dandelion-hear me roar!

I just finished an absolutely wonderful story. Amelia 1868 is a ghost story full of searching and betrayal and love and forgiveness. I have had it on my ‘to read’ list for several years and never managed to get to it. I was going to read it on the plane coming back from AK, but was sidetracked by my own longings for a place I didn’t want to leave. I finally started it and had a hard time putting it down. Oddly, there were some bits that didn’t mesh properly (like how the main character had this great dog that every so often vanished in the story line, when it had been rollicking along with the character page after page), but it was ok. The author once in a while uses the same words in subsequent paragraphs (‘While I no longer’ and then a bit later, ‘While I no longer.’), but it wasn’t horrible. I also had to read the last few pages a couple of times to make sure I was reading it properly. The two main characters suddenly became the main character ghosts, as well as themselves, and even if it was odd, it worked! Yet, the one thing that kept coming past me was love and forgiveness. In fact, in the last sentences, the author wrote this, “I’ve learned that forgiveness is the key to letting go and freeing oneself of the burdens of the past.” Which I happen to agree with myself.

good heavens, I feel OLD!

Driving today, I was thinking about the different kinds of love there are. I didn’t focus on the Greek words or even muskrats, but wandered into my own ideas. I wondered if I had been a zombie lover. The kind of person who walks around blindly, roughly grabbing love from any and every one and then tossing more love away like confetti hearts before blithely walking on. I don’t want to be one of those.

I then thought about my favorite yard flower, the true DYF (Damn Yellow Flower). So often our yards are infested with yellow flowers of dandelion like origin, but only a few thousand are actually the wonderful not-weeds-to-me I love. (there is that word again!) I started smiling as I was driving and decided I need to be more like a dandelion! A simple, bright coin of petals (not always wanted, but always there!) nestled and thriving almost anywhere possible. A plant that can be used for medicine or food or picked by little hands and given as a gift. Eventually, these golden buttons on a green waistcoat turn into magical fairy orbs that burst apart with a breath to land and make more! Wouldn’t that be a wonderful way to love and be? To spread love with a breath, to be love that glows and gives in so many ways, to be ordinary and magical in different seasons, and to be there when needed.

This morning I was feeling a bit useless again. It is like I came back to Oregon to cook and clean and bake (a totally different kind of cooking!!) and I’m tired. I so wanted to sell the house and use a portion of it for me. It will and it won’t. When I said, a bit jokingly, that I could use the money I’ve been paying house bills in AK with for my meds, The Craftsman agreed and said it would help. The laptop I brought back from AK (mom’s) is being used for ‘important’ things since all the other technology is a bit aged and not compatible with tax or banking programs. I had wanted to use it to type mom’s dozens of journals into. I probably still can, it just will have other things on it. The house needs a new large freezer (Little Bear lost 7 containers of ice cream at one go. He was a bit upset! Photo is of the upstairs freezer one year, before I objected to having no room for venison. He now keeps the frozen sweets at his grandma’s. A few blocks away!) and I’ll probably need to buy that. At least, I am going to pay for the fixing of my watch. Not sure when I’ll get it back, but I can wait. It isn’t exactly a useful watch, but unlike the most wonderful K’ixie thigh highs I purchased before leaving AK, I can wear this most anytime!

I wasn’t chosen for the jury I thought I’d be chosen for. The labs I was supposed to get today will end up being done next week, I can’t just drop in. (the physician was very annoyed, ‘You may have a UTI and you have to wait until next week to pee in a cup???’) No one came home until very late for the very excellent dinner I made (Little Bear insists it needs sent to a lab to find out what proportion of spices I added, since I just added and didn’t measure). They left again to visit Grandma, it is her birthday. (I did suggest things they could get Grandma and I made her a cake. I didn’t want to go up. She’s never really forgiven me for marrying her beloved son. Although, she loves the grandsons!)

However, I imagine I am not entirely useless. I am a dandelion and I will glow and grow and infest your yard with forgiving bright joy. No matter how often you step on me or mow me or pull me up, I’ll be there!!! ! (NOTE: I’ve probably written this same post once before! Lol

Forgiveness, Compassion, Grace

I relaise the above are ‘church’ words. They are more than that, though. They are life words. I remember, ages ago, when Strider was in grade school and the kids were being taught ‘life skills’. Some of the things they were supposed to do included being kind, gentle, patient, and many more. He was surprised that they were learning ‘church’ things in public school. I told him it didn’t matter where he was or what he believed, being kind and compassionate and gentle and forgiving and patient and gracious were all things a person needed to exist as a human.

If you google (where would our world be today without google??) grade school life skill lessons, you find things like a kindness game where you smile at 10 people or tell someone something nice about them and games where you pass along a kindness. In Tillmook, during the month of February, you can participate in an Act in Kindness Day to honor a wonderful family. It truly doesn’t matter who you are to learn to act with generosity and compassion and to be pleasant. I’ve always been drawn to words said by Elwood P. Dowd in the wonderful movie, ‘Harvey’.

Without forgiveness and compassion and love, what is there left to hang on to? I know there is a lot of hate running amok today and in my own background. I had some damn scary dads when I was a kid. I forgave them in my adult years and I’m glad I did. They never knew me as an adult, but those months under their roofs shaped parts of me. A few lessons were a benefit, others not so much. But, I forgave those dads for terrifying the small girl made overly responsible by age 9. Mom was harder to forgive and I’m still angry with her, yet, I know why she was so awful and I can only forgive her and hope to never be like that. I know those dads that drank and beat up mom and whipped my bare bottom bright red were not lovable and perhaps some might think they were unforgivable. Time has softened those memories and I can forgive. I will never ever forget. I am human and humans don’t forget (ok, I have forgotten many things. Usually things like where I parked or put my glasses and what temperature to cook something at after looking at it seconds ago). But, with compassion and forgiveness, those awful things are in the past and I can move on. I am not going to keep those horrid memories alive to haunt me and hurt me even now. I’m glad those dads are not in my life anymore, I’m thankful I’m not a woman who grew up in households of such fear. But, I can see how alcohol made them the way they were. There is probably more, but drinking is what I recall most as a little.

Two dear friends helped me see how (and it is a long story, so this is just the gleanings from their care for me) not forgiving can be born of anger and hurt and of fear. A young friend of mine shared some of her thoughts on forgiveness that made little sense to me, so I asked two others for assistance. They were a lovely help. This post was born of their help. (thank you, Rhapsody and RLS!)

Like the word snow in Alaskan native tongues, there are many kinds of love. I tend to focus on a few Greek words Eros and Agape and Storge. Philia is one I know, but don’t talk about as often as sex, friends, and family. I went to a Bible college, so Greek is my natural point of view. I have grown beyond Greek and see many more now. However, those loves all harken back to life skills. Skills we should use and practice every day.

Forgiveness, compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience, graciousness, sharing, respecting, giving, responsibility, honesty, and friendship.

More Absurdity

Two years ago today, mom died. Two years ago today, I was angry. I’m still angry. I was screaming mad the morning of Sept 24. Now, I’m mostly numb and tired.

Started out by hearing from the thrift store woman who was supposed to pick up things last night. Her spouse, who had the truck and was driving with a broken arm, almost hit a moose and hurt the truck. (Thank goodness the spouse was Ok. Moose are not vehicle friendly!) I opted to try and find other places to take the stuff and learned that the local Salvation Army (I did not want to donate there, but am willing to do anything now) also has their truck down. The original lady (I really like her!) will come out on Sunday.  I have no idea what to do with the organ, the holiday stuff I will take to the SA when I can. The Jukebox Kid also texted, he wants some more things and to have his family take me out to dinner when I get north. (I’m not sure I’ll have time!) My plans are a bit of a mess, but whatever.  

I had a great deal of help today and I got a call from my sister. She offered Gigman’s help on Friday to haul stuff to the dump. I HAVE people who can take things to the dump, I need people who can drive all over to donation places!!!! (many are taking stuff, I just need to get it there.) I had just posted on FB that I thought all of mom’s holiday stuff was headed to the dump, so maybe that is where she got the idea I needed help with trash. She isn’t a fan of Easter or Christmas anymore, so it is all trash to her. I, thankfully, had all the holiday boxes marked as such. I thought it might be easier for the people in the stores. It will also be easier for me to find them!! The helpers got the entire basement cleaned out and tidy. I even had some return later to move a file cabinet. (it does need to be sent to the dump, but Gigman can’t do that. It is too heavy!)

So, after everyone left, I decided to run some items I had put in my car to the local rec center. I dropped them off and felt very sad for the two teens in lovely party dresses having photos taken in the cold drizzle. I headed to the post, but heard game pieces sliding around in a box when I started to park. Oops, I forgot to drop off the games and puzzles! So, back to the rec center I went (the poor girls were sitting on a blanket playing a hand game, still in the rain, amidst the fall colors). I opted this time to forgo the post and just go home. Good thing, on my way home I realized I’d forgotten to put a stamp on the letter!!!

Once at the house, I turned off the alarm, went into the living room and noticed the front door was open and the screen door unlocked. I’d forgotten to close and lock them last night! (there isn’t much in the house, most of it is in the garage and the alarm was on out there) I went online to learn my carry on for Alaska Air is too large by three inches. My second bag (a tote) is over 50 pounds and will cost $100, but it won’t fit the pink carry-on bag. It had been mom’s and it is a very nice short stay bag, if I can get it back to OR. The tote also needs secured with duct tape.

Then, my sister called back again. I told her a bit of what I’d been doing and she wanted to know if I wanted her to go with me to drop mom’s ashes off a favorite fishing bridge. No. I told her I didn’t, we had gone to Homer together to spread ashes and I would do this myself. Besides, she had just gotten home and didn’t need to come out again. She said it wasn’t that far and I thought, ‘then why haven’t you come out to help or get things you want???’ She also wanted to make sure I knew Gigman could help me on Friday. I said I didn’t have much trash, but would he be able to get the things she wanted, unless she didn’t want them anymore. She got a bit snippy and said ‘I suppose we can get those now.’ (Seriously?) I then mentioned I would be here because the realtor was coming. (I’d forgotten she didn’t know I was using a realtor)  Jake got more pissy. Because I didn’t ask for her help in choosing one and she hoped the company would ‘do well for me’. I’ve been scream swearing at mom and my sister the last minutes, in between typing. (Someday, I hope I’m finally good enough for someone without having them want to ‘fix’ me or ‘make me better’. ) I’m also waiting for someone who said they were going to be here this evening, it is after 630 pm. I was hoping to get pizza for dinner, but I reckon I’ll be ok with sandwich meat and a tortilla with some flavored water a neighbor brought me.

Honestly, my neighbors are better friends than my sister.

Speaking of friends, when I took mom out, I stopped to drop off the title to the car. A friend will handle the money part of the selling for me, so I don’t need to sell it for pennies. I also didn’t drop all of mom. It was super dark and I was a tad nervous being so far up above the water!  I’ll do the rest in daylight, when I can see where I’m spreading her! (I lightened up the photo a LOT)

A New W..eeeeek!

The last post I tried to write was too long by more than a page. It was an attempt at trying to condense the previous week. It didn’t work well. I sent a letter to a friend and decided to try to put it in an outline form. That was also several pages. The week before was definitely something from a journal of the absurd. I actually own a volume by that name. It has some crazy stories in it, the week just experienced would rival many of them! I’ve not read emails this last week, I’m behind and running out of time. (good book by Margaret P. Haddix) so, EEEEK!

So, I’ll start with this week and add a few photos now and then. I have next to me a large coffee cup half full of pink bubbly. It isn’t as tasty as I remember, but it will be the last one I drink. There are a great many lasts in these middle days of September. Today, in particular, I signed off on papers to start the sale of the house. I sold the lawn furniture (picnic table and chairs and what not). I also sold the kayak. It about broke my heart, but it was necessary. I visited the bank with a great deal of cash I needed to put in my account. About $450. I’d already taken out the third for my sister and the money for a paving stone in a memorial park. (With winter coming, they won’t set it in place until spring. It doesn’t matter, it is done). I realized, again, just how awful math is as I added and subtracted and finally got the same answer more than once and chose it. (note: saw a GREAT license plate today. Ksirah. I’d love that plate myself, especially if it had a ‘2’ after the word to square sirah. It is still my favorite motto!) I took a bird feeder and shepherd’s hook to a lady who expressed an interest in one. (she was so surprised I saved one out for her!) I also took the expensive urn, smashed it, and tossed it deep into the muck of the inlet. (Little Bear was appalled. He said cleaned, it would make a nice small cookie jar. I cannot imagine it, myself.)

When the guys were here last week, they were crazy busy. On Friday, the Jukebox Kid visited and paid us most of what he owed. Saturday morning, early, my sister texted asking if I’d found a couple of toys. Later, the person watching the animals texted to say the kitties were fine. (my phone works up north. Little Bear’s works some. The Craftsman’s doesn’t work at all) About an hour and a half later, I had a thought, and texted her, ‘How is the bunny?’ She replied, “What bunny?” She thought the rabbit was at Grandma’s and would be ok. She dashed to the house and found an alive, but very hungry rabbit. Jake then discovered the guys were leaving around noon and opted to visit. (they were also given the grand made from the sale of their jukebox) She mentioned to The Craftsman that she was a slacker. He doesn’t see her very often and rarely talks to her, he half jokingly responded, ‘Yes, you are.’ Which is why I think she wants to visit this week sometime to help me. (She is also looking for some things I didn’t sell that she wants) When they left after their short visit on Saturday, the teen daughter asked me as she carted off an armload of stuff, “Auntie Krit, do we need to pay for the stuff we are taking?” I laughed and said no.

I must admit, in the four weeks the guys have been here over the last 6 years, they have gotten more done than any 8 people. I wish I could have given them a day of ‘fun’, but there wasn’t time. Little Bear did drag a boat around with the kayak and a pole and later anchored it on the lake. (Father Goose, maybe. Cary Grant, not at all!!!) One day was super nice and when we walked on the one almost sandy beach, I was barefoot. We did visit the sunset a few different nights. So, there were some good moments in the midst of the ridiculous experiences of the week! Now, it is raining and overcast. I wore light blue and sparkles on Tuesday because I knew it would be a rough kind of day. I’m going to miss this place so much! Especially, the kayak…but EO water is quite a journey from the house I live in. it wasn’t conducive to bringing it back. It is super smoky in EO at the moment, so not looking forward to getting a flight south. I’ll have to do that soon.  I’m now over long again. I’ll post more when I get a chance!

Again, I play Catch up

I think about how much has happened in the last days and I’ll just have to cliff notes it.  First, a realtor photo I missed sharing.

Because a kitchen bath is so handy when eating pears.

The ring is still unknown. So, I claimed it for the story. I did learn that it wasn’t dad or mom or the cat, only because it couldn’t be. The jeweler said it is a ladies ring and the markings were 14K and the star and letters are probably that of a maker. So, I took the rest of the ashes down to the inlet and let the wind take them hither and yon. I said aloud, “I’m not sure who you are, but this a great beach to belong to. Super awesome sunsets and fishing. You’ll like it here.”   

Sometime last week, I discovered how difficult it is to wrap items in plastic wrap. I’ve done millions of cookies for mailing (do remember, putting cookies in those sealed up plastic packages makes crumbs. Soldiers will add milk and eat them like cereal. So, if you ‘seal a meal’ cookies, add spoons!), but large items of furniture are totally different!!! Squares and rectangles aren’t too bad, chairs are awful!!! The kids I paid (I should have paid them more than 60$) wrapped the hope chests in record time by working together and they took the first lots to my sister late afternoon and the chests while I was gone the next day. My sister did visit with her family twice. Both times they took things, so I was thankful.

The dentist said my teeth have something I can’t pronounce, he said to schedule an appointment for Friday. So, I did. It is the day before The Craftsman and Little Bear arrive for a week. I had no idea they were coming up. I will get a lot more finished, but am pretty sure I won’t have everything done around here by the time they want to leave.

I’ll do a ‘$5 more or less’ estate sale this Sat and next and call it good. I was hoping to have a few more things gone before I did a sale, but oh well (Jukeboxes and totes and..).  I also need to get the septic checked again. The latter annoys me, I’ve used water for not every day showers, the toilet, and to nominally wash hands and brush teeth. But, something isn’t as right as it was in June.  It’s been almost a year since the last work was done. It probably thinks I’m ignoring it!

And I should not be upset over little things. It was late, so I sent The Craftsman short note about the wind we’ve had here this Monday and how it knocked down a tree at the neighbors and I heard sounds of ones falling on this side. I said I was sure he was busy and to pack warm clothes. Then I sent a photo of the down tree (it is pretty obvious if you see photos of the place often, or if you were here a week last summer and looked across the lake everyday..that wasn’t nice. I need to stop being sarcastic.). I then said love you, sent xoxo’s and texted a goodnight. He responded with ‘Nice picture dear, thanks. Goodnight, my love.’ I’m such a bitch. Little things should NOT frustrate me! I’m a bigger person than the septic needing attention or abrupt texts or having the house so cold because heat costs or or frustrating WP changes or places like FB who flagged my selling post about this adorable moose cookie jar. About 12 inches from hoof to antlers and 7 from hip to hip. Hoof to tail, about another 7 inches. He’s only 20$ and FB doesn’t like selling animals. (livestock like chickens are called breakfast makers..)

Kris will smile (instead of spitting into the wind) and she will prevail!!

Not My Responsibility.

These two quotes made me realise something. I almost felt like Phil from Groundhog Day (not plural, it is a singular word and title) when he said he wasn’t going to play by their rules any more. I am not responsible for my sister coming to get her things. Because I care about her getting what she wants, I will pay a couple of young men to take them to her house. Apparently, some moving companies only take things to the door. I think I’ll ask the kids take them inside, but not to help move them around inside. Just so they aren’t left on the dirt driveway outside the house. I’ll keep one box here cuz there are a few things Princess might want that are here and others that Jake might. I am not responsible for her actions when she gets mad at me for doing things without telling her (thinking about a sale this next weekend) or bringing her the things she is too busy to get. In order to be fair, she did just have her daughter (the younger one) prepare and sell a goat and Jake cannot let something that important be done without her being a helicopter parent (hovering, helping, doing, and saying Pippi did a great job all by herself). So, the last weeks have been pretty busy. Especially, the one where Pippi was gone. Perhaps Jake was planning on coming out next week, but I have a lot of things going on next week and tip toeing around my sister’s feelings is not what I want to do. (I know, I’m so darn mean!)

It was rather liberating when the suggestion was made to just take them to her house. Princess, my niece, is supposed to be here this weekend. Jake is going to ANC to get her. I was asked to go, but up and back in her rig would be wearing and I am NOT going to let her take mom’s.  (Jake calls it a turn and burn.)  I am responsible for my own world and not hers. We do have connections. For her, more than 50 years of them! She goes on and on about how important family is, yet I don’t hear from her unless she wants something or I call or text and I’ve seen her once since I’ve been in AK. She did send me a FB query about a ceramic container she was wondering if I still had. As Strider said, ‘Mom, she could just come out before or after work and look herself. She only works a few miles from Nana’s house.’ He is right.

As I was told while visiting the post office (and probably another time, but it didn’t stick then!!), ‘If it is important to you, you will remember.’ (does not refer to mislaid items such as glasses or car keys or papers or my checkbook) If this had been important to my sister, she’d do it and not put it off. I texted the Jukebox Kid and he called and talked to me for an hour and 57 min (and 3 seconds). He was worried because I was trying to figure out, via texts, how to get the boxes to him ASAP. He thinks probably Monday he’ll be down. We’ll see!!! The realtors who visited last week are mailing me papers. I might even get to see TnT, too (I have things to bring him and he’s incredibly busy)!! Plus, the Book Lady may be here to snap up some stories. Although, I might meet her in town and drop off my donations to the thrift store that was closed on Monday (they help support the local animal shelters). I also need to contact Jewel again. She didn’t come by when she said she would (she’s newly married and her husband’s son killed himself about a month ago, so I’m not upset at all she wasn’t here yet.). Another lady who is homeschooling stopped by and chose a lot of materials from mom’s school teaching helps. Packed up lighthouses. I have 6 more, but will wait and see if Princess wants any of them first. I find it rather amazing I’ve packed away or donated or sold almost every single light house mom had. (Except the jackets..I forgot those were in the closet! ARRG!)

 It will be another busy week in a different kind of way. A getting rid of stuff way with perhaps some shining pearl parts for me. (I did get out in the kayak finally. It was nice, but it really isn’t the same lake I grew up on. Lots of people and pets and a lack of privacy.) 

Difficult Thankfuls

I have two friends with the same name. One is a bit older than me and is one of the wisest, kindest, get her done kind of souls. The other is younger than me by a bit, also kind, will do things, but is definitely different! They were both here on the same day at different times this week. The first one has helped in this house from early 2017. The other worked in the hospital when we were there in fall of ’16. The former Jewel took photos of a couple of pieces of furniture (ones mom bought in late ’15 and barely used.). One is a lift top coffee table that is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen and if my sister saw it, she’d want it in a second. Mom kept things on it, but thankfully, never used the lift part or the inside drawers. She paid 695$ for it. It has worn edges and a mark on the top from something. The other item is a 1900$ queen hide a bed that is heather in color and pristine. It has been used probably 5 weeks as a bed. Maybe a bit more. Her dad is moving to a new house and he wanted newer furniture. I might be able to get a quarter of the cost, maybe. It will be tons more than if my sister took it, though!

The second Jewel came and talked to me for over an hour about ‘what are you going to do with this?’ “I can’t believe how much stuff your mom had.’ ‘Have you checked with the bookstores in town to get rid of these books?’ ‘Have you asked K if she can help you get rid of these?’ ‘What will you do with this stuff?’ And on and on, almost cyclic. We went out for dinner, got back to the house, and proceeded to move some stuff around. (“You know, your sister really needs to come and get the things she wants. If she does that and other people get things, you will start to see how much more room there is.”) Jewel 1 also said my sister needs to get her stuff, she also told me I need to stand up to her and stop being so giving. I laughed. Jewel 2 made me laugh, too. She kept looking in cupboards to see what was left, opening up containers of food on the counter (I need to put those in the fridge!), and suggesting how I could offload things.  Not many boundaries on Jewel 2.

Anyway, Jewel 2 is supposed to be here this afternoon to help me and I stayed awake quite a while last night tossing around. I think I have a better plan. We’ll see how it pans out. I want to do a lot of outside stuff and the sky right now is clear..on the left! Jewel 2 drove over 180 miles to help me, she has her own agenda, and is constantly telling me how she can help.

She was here. Her help was phenomenal. I did offer her usage of the shower -she’s staying in a dry cabin. No water at all, except it is on a lake. I did remind her it had to be a short shower, she thinks she’ll be ok. (she’ll be glad to get back to her condo!) We moved a ton of boxes to the shed where I can have people look through them. (I had a low glucose and had to stop, she muttered to herself the entire time she was working. I laughed. She seems like the kind who needs someone to talk to, even if it is herself!) We moved the free standing closet from my room and accidentally marked the beautiful linoleum when it slipped from our hands. We drove to town and back to deliver some stuff to donate. We packed up some dishes for her to get rid of in a larger city where more people might find a use for them. All in all, it was nice. Difficult, but nice. I finally had to start saying to her questions, ‘I don’t know.’ She kept telling me she did trash runs every day cuz there was so much she needed to get rid of in her dad’s house after he died. I do have a great deal of empty boxes and such, once I get those gone, it will make a lot more space.

It is a stunning evening and I’ll make dinner and work in the basement. I sort of want to visit the beach, too. I probably should do the Inlet. Tomorrow is Friday and if it is nice, the shore will be packed! Some people are messy and I prefer not being around those sorts. (I did head to the water, no photos, though, these are from during the week.)

In other news, my cell phone has been very wonky, the internet is odd. I need to buy more sunflower seed. The rain earlier this week looked like glitter on the lake, but it didn’t photograph well! And the clouds tonight look like giant lavender scraps of cotton balls stretched out on the blue and pale pink sky.

Steps in August

So far, August has been (I just crinkled my nose and that sums it up!) not what I thought. If I had arrived in AK in April, I’d be done with this job by now. Well, I didn’t and I’m not. I did run away on Wednesday, but not like I did last fall when I took off for a mini vacation. Wednesday was busy, sunny, and so after I did chores, I played.

My chores involved the dump and visiting the post and scrubbing sinks and sorting through the mouse papers I had boxed last year. I did find some rather fun things, plus a donation to the American Heart Society or somewhere that hadn’t been sent in (as one of my older friends said, ‘That 90 days has come and gone.”). I also discovered I was the one who wrote dad’s obituary, created the slide show, wrote thank you cards, and realized mom spent a LOT of money on froo froo for dad’s service. I could have used the memorial guest book for mom, too. (Jan 2006 wasn’t that long ago, I should have remembered…)

Later, I sunbathed in a chair because the table wasn’t efficient (I did scrub the oils off Thursday, since the rain didn’t!). I took photos of critters. Moose showed up before I left and after, the birds were the most fun, and the adorable vole (like a wild hamster) that walked across my sandal was more startling than fun! After that, I went inside to finish making cookies (they were the very best cookies I’ve made in forever and I’m the only one here to eat them!!), make myself dinner, hang out online, and watch it start to rain. The sunny day clouded over FAST with short showers. I had planned on walking outside in the moonlight buff, but didn’t for long. Not because of the wandering moose or thoughts of bears or even mosquitoes. It was just too darn chilly to be outside with less than jeans and a sweatshirt! Not to mention no moonlight!

The best part of Wednesday was discovering it wasn’t Thursday. I had an entire whole extra day I hadn’t known about!!

I spent my Thursday emptying bookshelves and finding more odd things. Did you know there was (not sure if there still is) a genealogy site that has information on deceased persons which includes SSNs??? I’ve been destroying that sort of information and it can be just googled???? I also found another gorgeous scrapbook from 1945. It was my grandmother’s ‘wedding album’. Oddly, the wooden cover has a bird hunting scene motif which seems odd since Grandma was a nurse and Grandpa was a baker!

I did text my sister to see if she was going to come out and get the things she wanted. (one of my dear friends said I need to light a fire under her.) Alas, the kindling was probably wet. She called me back to tell me her youngest is not home at this time, plus Jake took away her technology. This confused me. Can’t she come out without her daughter and I thought the kid was out in the wilds with her best friend’s family having a great time? I think the lack of technology is harder on my sister than my youngest niece! Then, my sister said my eldest niece was visiting on the 23rd for 10 days because she needs some time away. I’d love to have been 31 and able to ‘go home’ when things were hard. (I’m trying to be charitable and not mean. I love my niece and I’m not very good with people fragile in health or soul). I was also told my sister lost her key to the house. Meanwhile, this has nothing to do with her coming out and getting stuff.

I seriously think I’m going to watch a movie tonight. I haven’t yet, I keep thinking I will, I really should!