Probably

Good news? Recently had a mammogram and it was determined an ultrasound was needed. The testing was done and the information was immediately sent to the radiologist, who said it looked good and to come back in 6 months. Well, when the report got to me via the mail, it read, and this is a final quote from the bits of diagnostic info sent on, “Impression: Probably benign. Recommend unilateral right mammogram in 6 months.” Probably. Seriously, after ages of schooling, one might anticipate a more decisive response!! So, for the next few months I will dance through the days, hoping the probability is really negative! 

The lasagna gardens were a success. So was the rabbit litter under the cages! You can see one of the gardens has a lot of grass. (of the two, only one had litter added to it) It is, probably, barley, and elsewhere is a cut green for the bunnies. Except, since this is in a garden with daffodils, which are toxic, we are not taking any from this area. Just in case a stem is sliced and the juices end up on the cutters or in the rest of the greens. They like the tulips, but we don’t want to risk the buns getting something that might probably poison them. 

March is often the month of chills and shine, but this year it appears April is more apt for that weather. No April showers, just night temps of 19 degrees F and cool windy days of mostly sunshine. The first night it dropped, leaving many flowers sprawled in the beds. A bit like tipped over well dressed drunks. Usually, the daffodils have a lot of juice in their stems. A thick clear liquid that drips from the hollow stalks when cut. After the freeze, it almost seemed like the daffodil stems were hollow. A few perked up when the sun came out, thankfully. The rest, well, they were picked up gently and removed from the gardens. My kitchen is now full of vases filled with April gold and a smidge of reds. Should have picked the hyacinth, too. Those resemble  something that could probably be found in the extreme back of the crisper bin of the fridge after several months. EWWWWW! Not looking forward to culling those from the garden. Slimy stalks are not fun, but they will return to the earth and add to the soil as mulch. Turns out the juice in the stems evaporates when they get super cold (science stuff) and the heavier stems can’t lift up as easily when they warm during the day, so they look ‘tired‘.

Haven’t gotten my new laptop/chromebook up and running yet. It isn’t looking as easy to use as this older technology. Older technology that is probably about ready to give up the ghost! This post is being written up in google docs, which I have never used before. It is definitely different. Have been trying to transfer documents from word to google docs and sheesh! Not only do people have trouble getting along in our world, but technology is just as snooty. The one thing I’m looking forward to with the new laptop is checking emails. This machine often skips and deletes something other than the one slated to be deleted or opens other messages than desired or freezes, so haven’t been there in a while. 

Managed to squeeze in a haircut Monday last. It was not done quite like I wanted, but it will probably be ok. Thankfully, hair usually grows. My CGM is being wonky. The company is sending me a new sensor, but even the tech help thinks the problem might be in the monitor. Haven’t heard from Strider in a few days, but he’s got chicks and a GF and both of those take up a lot of time. (plus his house that almost caught fire last month and was torn up by the inspector and now needs repairs) Moses isn’t looking good. He’s a frail, deaf, unkempt aged kitty cat who sleeps a lot. Am taking a lot of photos of the orange kitty…

However, I found a western swallowtail chrysalis that is now inside waiting to emerge. (hopefully!) Planted the common milkweed seeds in hopes of growth and western monarchs and am in the midst of getting the laundry completed for this extra long week in the middle of April. PHEW!

Honey, honey-

I was outside this afternoon pulling morning glory from one of the garden beds. (I detest morning glory. I used to think it was so pretty, but then I realised what an invasive plant it was!) I enjoy twining plants, but morning glory twines and drives me bonkers! Anyway, the morning glory was around my CA poppies, so I was trying to be careful of the ferny stems and not break any. While out, I noticed the honeybees. It was so darn CUTE!

Now, cute is the order of business in a garden when it comes to little finds. (Except baby earwigs, those are NOT cute!) Recently, I discovered tadpoles in the pond Little Bear put in years ago. What amazing creations those are. I also found a couple of swallowtail chrysalises and carefully put those back in a protected area away from where I was weeding. (it amazes me how a large butterfly can emerge from the goo inside one of those tiny shells) However, back to the poppies. A poppy has a single ‘eye’ in the middle of the flower surrounded by lashes. This is more prominent in a larger poppy, in the more delicate California ones, the eye and lashes are less obvious. Well, the honey bees were crawling under the lashes and twining around the eye to collect the pollen!!! (After looking at the photos on the computer, I think the first one is a wasp!)

All I could think of was that great tune by ABBA, ‘Honey, Honey‘. Although, to be fair, the bees were NOT dressed like this, nor did they sing with more than a contented buzz.

Enjoy the music and the beauty of the blooms and the bees.

gifts

My tulips are about done. The fun fringed red ones in the container are still in bloom, but I reckon they will fade soon. (I have better pictures on my laptop, but am using the desktop for now) I love the fringed many petaled pink one. It looks so happy!!! (I only found a couple of these) The bent over one made me laugh. I have no idea why it grew straight til the last inch or so. Granted, it is in a place that needs weeded (..so much needs weeded, I am still too tired to do much more than a bit now and then.), but I reckon it had a different problem. I didn’t many tulips this year, but I was able to pick quite a few and share them. I love giving away flowers! I think next fall, I will send some of the red ones to my aunt in Minnesota. Except I need to remember when her winter starts!!! Here, we can pop stuff in the ground much later than they can in northern MN.

I have many bouquets inside, too. A few of those have a super tall narcissus flower that smells exquisite!!! I don’t have photos of those-I enjoy bringing flowers inside, they are sunshine when it rains!  The pale purple and white ones were in an abundance. I was VERY glad to see these exquisite gifts in my lasagna beds. Oddly, they don’t open flat like the yellow or orange ones (I don’t know where my white ones are, lots of leaves in the yard..not many flowers). They open a bit and then fade in a tight bunch, not petal by petal.

Moses isn’t well. He has a tender to the touch lump on his back (When Little Bear looked up cats and sores, he laughed. One article suggested if you touch an area of a cat and he is feisty, it could mean he is in pain. Touching Moses’s back has been ‘at your own risk’ for YEARS.). I would take him to the vet, but I haven’t left the house in weeks. He is still eating and drinking and sleeping as normally as usual. He has lost weight, though. He’s also 16 years of grumpy old cat! I think when he was in a spat last week, he was injured and we never caught it. (Because it was on his back) After my appointment this week, I’ll make one for him and see what can be done.

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The yard is a cat hangout. Moses used to be the bully cat, but as he’s aged, he’s lost his edge. This super sleek black cat with a single star on his/her chest was watching squirrels in the locust tree. I stayed inside so I’d not scare anyone off!! (the one on the porch railing was captured earlier, the things are everywhere!)

Little Bear took some excellent photos this last week of white crowned sparrows. He has a gift for photography, even if he doesn’t think so!!! The last one is hilarious cuz it is giving ‘That Look’..except birds don’t look straight at a thing!!!

What gifts are in your neighborhood this week?

Resilient

I am a firm friend of resilience. Reeds that bend and don’t break. Willow trees that bow and spring back. Daffodils and spring. This last weekend it snowed. It froze. Temps dropped to the low twenties F and bobbed back briefly. The US went crazy buying things in excess (like Black Friday, only meaner and without that loving end that Christmas has). My chest started to ache, along with my lower back, and today I have a headache. Yet, I’m reminded over and over at what a beautiful world we have.

Friday night it started to snow and I crouched in flakes to capture what I thought was the last of my crocus. I was certain the daffs would be ok, they are a tough, toxic plant. Except on Sunday, I found the daffodils along the house in back were encased in ice. Snow had fallen off the roof, had melted, solidified, and turned the vibrant line of yellow flowers into a scene from Frozen or a fairy tale. I was sad, but decided to clip as many as I could. I carefully snipped stems through coatings of ice and brought them inside. They sat melting in the sink and eventually, snapped out of their chilled look into gorgeous heralds of spring. Granted, a few are a bit tattered, but I have 4 vases full! Even the tree down the road looks festive in snow. Not sure if there will be any apricots (it is an apricot tree!), but it does look beautiful!

Monday was odd. I got a lot done and didn’t get much done til the end of it. (I know, it was odd!!) Thankfully, I folded clothes during a black and white Agatha Christie movie (Murder Most Foul). I learned a dear friend I made online several years ago died from heart surgery complications, I’m still stunned. (I’ll always remember him with daffodils. Bright, cheery, sturdy, ordinary, and friendly..although, Wayne wasn’t toxic…) Today is St. Patrick’s Day. Many people are whining worse than I did with mom because they can’t do what they want. Kids are having a fun vacation from school (til the start of April) and hanging out with grandparents. Others just cannot wait til this is over and things get back to normal. I’m moderately annoyed cuz I am almost out of baking powder, flour is one of those things not on the shelves (I thought I had more than I did), and hoping my family stays well. Because, hunkering down isn’t something most of the people in the US can do without losing jobs or paying bills.

The Iditarod is going well. Some villages have made alternate places for the mushers to rest with their dogs, one gal’s sled caught on fire (no, she wasn’t going too fast.), and the festivities after have been canceled. It appears to be one of the last sporting events happening right now and they aren’t transporting serum to Nome. (thankfully!) Sharing a fun link of some of the dogs running this year.

The Winery Woman shared a motto sent to her and I’m sharing it on. From Costa Women: “Distance today will allow us to embrace tomorrow.” In this, I was thinking of all my friends who are distant and how special you are. Especially, at helping me embrace tomorrow. I just love you guys and gals!!!!!! Virtual (and safe) hugs and kisses!

Before

This weekend, most of the weather reports have forecast a wintry mix. I’m a huge fan of winter (in case no one noticed),  but with so much starting to bloom, I’m good with snow waiting a few months. This last week I’ve discovered that, in spite of the calendar and the forecast, the season is now summery. I wanted to buy slippers. I have a pair in Alaska and the ones in Oregon were wearing out. I was hoping to wait til I got home (Alaska) to retrieve them from the closet. However, when I went upstairs on Monday, I tripped. Hard. As I stumbled upright, I realised I’d be better off getting new slippers now and not breaking something before I got my other ones. (then again, travel might not happen anyway!) So, I went shopping for an item that is apparently seasonal. I, and the lady behind me in line, were both startled. Eventually, I did find a pair on a discount rack and they finally are stretched enough to fit comfortably! I tossed my duct taped pair away. (remembering mum kept things like this!!)

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My daffodil beds have more flowers each day, the snow will take out the rest of the crocus, but they are almost done anyway.  (I liked the ones with the leaf, there is so much promise in that picture!) I was writing a few St. Patrick Day cards this afternoon and realised I needed to take photos of a lovely tree up the road. (reminding me of a blogging friend!)  It is some sort of fruit tree, I can’t remember which one. I think the fruit is small and hard and orange, but I could be quite wrong!! (I’ve not been here for so long, I am not sure..) The blossoms won’t survive the cold and as I stood under it and photographed branches and flowers, I could hear it buzzing. Such an awesome sound when  you aren’t sitting down with a book in wasp territory!! There are already blossoms on the ground, a scattered snow of petals.

In the craziness around, it is good to remember seasons exist. The solstice will soon occur and spring will take off for real. It is a matter of time, if we can wait for it.

Embracing Words

March 2 is the birthday of the doctor who prescribed books to a tiny kindergartner in Homer, AK. Chatting with blogging and facetime folks, many of us who were born in the latter part of the 60’s learned from something new called educational TV. The Public Broadcasting System was reaching out to children and a generation was caught. (I’m going to borrow heavily from YouTube)

Sesame Street taught me my letters (and numbers, but they weren’t as important. Sorry, Count!).

The Electric Company taught me how those letters worked (I am sure they also did numbers, but I can’t remember!).

School House Rock taught quite a few word things (and about the Bill on Capitol Hill). I’ve never forgotten this song!

Mr. Rogers, bless the dear man, taught me kindness and social skills. Then, I met Dr. Seuss when I was 5 going on 6 (or thereabouts). From him, I learned I didn’t need to wait for an adult to read to me. I could do it myself! The Doctor’s birthday is ‘Read Across America Day’ and this next week heralds Read an E-book week. I think the Doctor would smile.

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I read a lot. Wordsmiths mean a great deal to me. The characters and stories and thoughts hid me during a tumultuous childhood, they have been my friends throughout my life seasons, and they teach me every time I open up pages to fall into their worlds again.

One of my favorite books (yes, I say this often) is ‘A Touch of Wonder’ by Arthur Gordon. I decided to take it off my headboard this month and was changed once more. It is full of short thought pieces of his life that encourage us to find and recognize wonder. He often writes about his journey as a writer. In one section he shares an encounter he had when he was a kid with an older man who he only knew as ‘the Teacher’. The man was sick, but gave of himself to a grubby boy who liked to fish. He told that kid, “Words..just little black marks on paper. Just sounds in empty air. But think of the power they have! They can make you laugh or cry, love or hate, fight or run away. They can heal or hurt. Rhythm..life is full of it; words should have it. listen to the waves on a quiet night; you’ll pick  up the cadence. Look at the patterns the wind makes in dry sand and you’ll see how syllables in a sentence should fall…But, the magic he taught wasn’t confined to words; he had a way of generating in me an excitement about things I had always taken for granted. He night point to a bank of clouds. ‘Colors are not enough. Look for towers and drawbridges. Look for dragons and griffins and strange and wonderful beasts.’

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This is also something I learned from the Doctor. To see something no one else does. It often identifies me as quirky and odd and on the other hand, it gives me a view beyond myself. I often talked to this tall guy on the lake near mom’s. I wave at him from the kayak. I’m always looking to see if he made it through another winter. No one else sees him, it doesn’t matter. He exists in my world and that is enough.

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The end of the beginning

It is the end of January. The month opened with the promise of a blank 365 days to fill and learn and grow in. We’ve already enjoyed almost 31 days of this new year and not a lot looks much different from previous ones!

Little Bear has determined he wants an ordinary birthday cake this year (two layer chocolate-which made me laugh, I very rarely make a two layer cake!) because many other years had cakes that were labor intensive. (he was right!) He also said a nice gift would be no party (last year we had quite a few visit, in spite of the new snow that fell that day). He has also thought a bit about joining a shooting and fishing club near here, he has actually investigated it online and so his thinking is a bit more proactive than usual! (If he can manage to part with $100 for fees to be around other people, I’m of the mind this is a good idea)

My therapy is going ok. I may not do the twice a week since each visit is $40 and I can take what he’s teaching me out of the germ infested facility (it is a very busy spot with people of every age and health) into my own house. My recent visit was definitely interesting. First, I had to find it. Last time I got turned around inside the center. This time, I got turned around trying to get into the parking lot! To be fair, the sign is visible driving up the hill, unfortunately, I was looking for it from the other direction!

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Once inside, I shared more information on my sore arm and leg and the therapist started working on me. He gently pulled my right arm and pressed on the shoulder. He called it shaking loose the rust inside. It felt amazing! In fact, it didn’t hurt as much as usual for almost 40 minutes. I was rather impressed. After the appointment, I thought I’d check my glucose before driving off in the dark (lately, driving in the dark is more difficult for me than it has been previously. It seems to get worse every year. A good reason to NOT live in the land of my soul!!). I was fortunate I checked. It was very low. Thankfully, I had stopped at the store before going to my appointment, where I had purchased those cute little fruits about the size of my breasts (probably not, but they must be close!). The oranges are super easy to peel, another good thing when a glucose is low and one is less than coordinated! (the blog highlighted is an old one of mine-I ditched weebly for WP)

I have an appointment for Friday, but don’t think I’ll make it to that one. I was going to do both therapy visits this week, but while I was low my cell rang. It was the bank. Looking back, I realise I was confused not just cuz my glucose was low. I had just visited the bank. I wanted to set up an appointment for next week. I had told the lady with the sticky note and pen who wrote notes that I was unavailable the rest of that day, but Wednesday would be a good day to call and I gave her times. I gave them the landline number and blithely went off, confident I’d get it sorted the next day. The baker and I ended up getting the appointment for Friday, three and a half hours before my PT appointment. Color me unimpressed! I wish I could visit the Alaska bank.

The worst thing that happened this week could have been a lot worse than it was. As Little Bear and Strider said, ‘Dad gave himself a new project.’ I was talking to Strider on the phone, The Craftsman was in the bathroom getting ready to shower. I heard the water start, a crashing sound, then silence. After a short bit, I told the eldest and he said to check. We both heard an aggravated, clipped response of, “I’m Fine.” Well, after being around mum for so long, fine is not a word I appreciate. Thankfully, he really was ok, but somehow his wet foot on the edge of the tub slipped off and struck the inside of the tub. He’s darn lucky he didn’t hamstring himself or slice something important. Bathrooms are a very dangerous location in a house. Always keep a towel with you—especially if you need covered up! (carrying a towel is from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) I’m incredibly thankful we didn’t have to rescue that 6’2” guy from the floor (so is his youngest!).  (you can see the crack running up and down alongside the yardstick I added for perspective)

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Writing of bathrooms and needing to fix them reminds me of some pictures I was sent. My good friend, TnT, just finished tiling a shower area. I wish he was here, isn’t this lovely?

Crazy Wonder

While out and about this Tuesday, I was reminded of Brigadoon. Lots of rain and intermittent fog and stark landscape. No Gene Kelly, though. I was thankful it wasn’t freezing, was wishing for snow, and wanting to be somewhere else..like Alaska. I’ve had dreams about home and getting rid of the house. It was awful and I woke up sad. It needs to be done, though. I realised how much money I’ve dropped into that place and while money isn’t all that important, it does help smooth paths and I’d love to fix that particular leak in my finances. (I detest wasting money and it seems more and more like a waste.) Then, I think I’d like a Continuous Glucose Monitor,  I want to send my iPad to Apple, or buy more books. (although, those last two wants are not entirely important!)

Once online, I was introduced to this author and poem while reading one of my favorite blogs ‘Cauldrons and Cupcakes‘. Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese. (I hope you can read it!)

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I was thinking about wonderful things in my world (cue Louis Armstrong!) and decided to photograph some African violets in the kitchen. Technically, they were a birthday gift to me. Although, as Little Bear said when I received them, “Dad! Look, mom got a plantfor you to take care of!” Needless to say, he has and they are beautiful. I particularly like how the blooms glitter. Not being knowledgeable with this plant, I don’t know if they all have sparkling flowers, but I really appreciate them. I then discovered how different they looked, depending on where I put the flash to illuminate them. FUN FUN FUN!!

After reading Nicole’s notes,  I chanced upon another favorite author blogger of an entirely different sort. Kent Wayne and his latest musing struck me. ‘Problems are a…skill expanding puzzle.’ I love that idea. I’m not fond of problems, they keep me awake, make me cry, and frustrate me into kitchen frenzies (stress baking). However, I have learned from many of those problems. I have grown and left most of them more than half baked.

Glittery blooms and life lessons. Crazy wonder!

Achilles and Angels

I recently thought about how each of us probably has an Achilles heel. A place we are vulnerable and a spot that gets us every time. Granted, we don’t get killed from this place of weakness (I hope!), but it exists and generally isn’t good. Then, today, while waiting for a friend, I started a short story in an erotic anthology. (this is a fairly good anthology series. I enjoy a short that is fairly well written and makes one think. There are some typos, a few bobbles here and there, and the editing isn’t as good as I’d like. I think those come within the territory of ebooks in this age) This story, it made me think. And so, you are getting a post about Achilles and Angels.

The story is titled ‘Bringing Angels to Life’ by Chloe Thurlow. A little bit like ‘My Fair Lady’, but not exactly. (oddly, until typing those words, I had not even noticed how similar it was in genre to that classic musical or even the story of ‘Pygmalion!) The story is about a man who sees a woman and awakens her, the author litters the short with pithy sentences that I ended up highlighting (I wonder if that is why my iPad went from full to 14% in just a few hours???).  Thinking about my own Achilles heel of being responsible, of doing for those around me and not as often myself, these phrases showed me places I need awakened. This will be a long post. Bear with me!!!!

This first quoted started my words winnowing, ‘What is life for, but to be lived?’  Mum made me aware of this and in the last months, I’ve forgotten it a bit. She always planned or said she would do something and it never was done. I have wanted to do things this year, they generally are pushed off because of responsible.

Was I living life? Or was I like the hands on the clock, just going through the motions?’ ME in Oregon or taking care of mom. I didn’t want to come back to the house today, because I am doing the same things over and over. (granted, as I work by myself or with others, I am making a bit of progress) ‘I wasn’t sure if chances came or chances were something you made happen yourself.’ Exactly true. In my Achilles heel, do I wait for chances or do I reach out and grasp them? ‘You only fail when you stop trying, stop believing. I was waiting for something to happen without realizing I was waiting. It was like I was dreaming of winning the lottery, but neither had the ticket or the intention of buying one.’ OUCH!!! I look at where I am with The Craftsman, dream of where my life could be, and do not do a thing besides what I’m expected to do. (I have had affairs. They have taught me more about myself than 30 years of marriage. Odd!)  One of my friends is changing his life, I’m so proud of him. I need to not just follow his example, but strike out onto my own path of change.

I laughed at this next quote I found. It was so me. Except I don’t look for new shoes, I look for books. The main character is wondering what she wants to do and glances down. ‘Some new shoes, I thought, that’s what I need.’ I highlighted it because it is so easy to find important things one needs that are useful for our daily life, but not what our soul needs.

The tired working woman character meets the Angel Maker after work and he says, ‘Come.’ She ‘realised I had been waiting as if on a cliff edge and just needed a push.’ When we are bent on one pattern, it takes something major to move you out of that rut. I have many places that trip me up. I don’t have a very good self-image. Mom didn’t encourage me much, my spouse doesn’t, and I absolutely crave being told I look nice or am pretty (I know, women are supposed to be beyond that. We are supposed to be lauded for our brains or achievements. I figure I can start with pretty and go from there!). The Angel maker tells the female character, ‘you are more interesting than you think you are.’ When I’m told this, I am flabbergasted. I often excuse the person saying it because they don’t know me in ‘real every day life.’ He then tells the woman, ‘You are here because you want to be.’ She’s not so sure. ‘You are crossing a bridge that is burning behind you as you go, he said. You don’t want to go back into the flames, the what’s the word, the ashes. And you are afraid to go forward. Is true?’ I nodded, ‘Yes.’ ‘I learn in this life, we do not regret the things we do, only what we wanted to do and never did.’   Powerful thought provoking words, those.

The secret of life is to discover what you are good at, then do it, whatever it is.’ I’m not sure what I’m good at. I do like to make others happy. I should not do it at the expense of myself. I need to be the chocolate chip cookie maker and not the doormat. (I was sad last fall when I went back to Oregon and learned the guys sort of weaned themselves off of sweet baked goods. Now what do I do?) ‘I had been waiting for something to happen. I had grown used to waiting, and you grow tired of waiting.’ Actually, that isn’t exactly true for me. Sometimes I get tired of waiting (most of my blog posts the last couple of years! Or getting the pipes dug up—there is a tractor in the drive as I type!), generally I carry books to help me during waits. Escape into another world is a good way to make time vanish.

In her transformation, he begins by sexually loving her. I liked how these scenes were written. It wasn’t graphic, it was beautiful. He accepted her for what she was, saw her desirability in her work environment and her clothes, removed her from the former and removed the latter—not because they were offensive, but as a part of who she was– dressed her in those same things the next day, then took her to buy new clothing and be guided into the woman she should have been.  He accepted her and guided her. (I’d probably do anything for a person who accepted me for myself.) ‘He made me feel wanted, beautiful, special.’ ‘I looked sexy but, more than sexy, I looked in the warm yellow light almost beautiful, and more than that, I looked happy, and thought those things go together like a matching handbag, shoes, and gloves.’ He pretends to be startled by the transformation and she laughs. He notes, ‘There is nothing sexier than a beautiful girl laughing.’ (NOTE: I had no idea sexual intimacy could be fun until I experienced it! I am a great flirt and giggle often while doing that, but laughing and giggling during sex? Blasphemy!) This last quote, I have experienced. KK told this to me years ago and it is a card I pull out every now and then. ‘If you think you’re beautiful, and special, if you lift your chin and hold your back straight, you are a desirable woman.’ ‘Remember at all times, and never forget it: you are a lady, not a tart.’ Then, the Angel Maker reminds her to ‘Never complain, never explain, and never apologise. Some famous lady said that, it’s good advice.’

As in ‘Hello, Dolly!’ ‘When you wear beautiful things, you do feel beautiful.’ I wore black sparkly tights today and my split jean skirt with a favorite flannel top that has a black velvety collar.  Warm and I felt it was pretty. (It was pouring rain today. When I texted The Craftsman that it was raining cats and dogs and I thought a St. Bernard landed in the lake, he responded with ‘A St Bernard?’ I should have just stuck to basic raining! Lol) Since I was meeting one friend for lunch and hoping to see another and shopping, I wanted to feel good and I did. This story I started, it helped me realise I need to wake up and shake off the clinging arrow in my foot.

I don’t need to keep waiting for something, I need to do. Whether I go back to school or move to Alaska or what, staying inside the house cooking and cleaning isn’t all I was created for. Taking care of mom won’t last forever. (I hope!)  I’m good at being responsible, somewhere there must be a different shoe for this Achilles heel of mine.

Harvest Moon?

This Friday was a bit frustrating. I was supposed to have the drive dug up and Digman didn’t arrive. He did call at 11 am to say he was waiting for his tractor to be moved. I’m not entirely sure, I take people for as I see them. (He’s nice in many ways, but sometimes I’m just not sure! Oh, I said that….) Because I was a tad disgruntled, I ate some not food that was delicious. Alas, it mucked up my glucose and I ended up taking a nap. When I woke, I knew I’d wasted most of the day just waiting and decided to get a few things done.

The night before I had finally emptied mom’s closet completely into two large garbage bags I’ll donate next week. (I was a bit sad, I think I must have gotten rid of most of the nice scarves and ties which were used during one lovely intimate memory this summer. Although, I might also have moved them. Which means I’ll never manage to find them! Lol) Anyway, since the closet was empty, I moved mom’s fur and fancy under sized winter coats upstairs. Most of them. The sad part? Now the closet is full again and a couple of the coats are downstairs hanging up in a small area of the store room. She had just too many and a bunch are from her aunts who are all dead. (I really need to get rid of those things and will most likely need to try Craig’s List or something like that.)

It had stopped raining and there was a chance the moon might be seen. (I did get glimpses early in the morning on the 13th, but I ignored it because I was hoping a dig would happen on Friday and I wanted some rest!) I did a few more things and kept checking the sky. It was eventually dark, but so very cloudy. Annoyed, I went downstairs and did more sorting and clearing so we can get to the AMI jukebox at the end of the week. (hopefully, that person will be here to get those!) The sky never did clear up, you could see it was light, but you could not see the moon. I went outside to verify and discovered something amazing. It was WARM! (Ok, probably not warm, but it wasn’t cold.) I knew the neighbors were gone and realized this was one of the only times I could go out in the kayak naked again. It was an incredibly freeing experience the last time and I wanted to do it again.

I decided this time I’d really be bare. I did take a zip up hoodie, mostly cuz of the pockets for my flashlight. (do you know when you are naked, you don’t have pockets! Kangaroos have it very good!) I also had on my boots and socks (muck is NOT fun on bare feet!) and my gloves I always wear when gripping the yak paddle. (I did take off the hoodie once on the waterI) didn’t paddle very long, a brisk wind slipped past and it grew chilly. But, oh. How much fun!!!

The ground was wet and slick as I hiked down to the lake. I was hoping I’d not see any moose, I’m sure I’d have fallen and lost the paddle and the flash and injured myself in more than one locale since 98% of me was uncovered! I reached the kayak without incident and got it in the water (another not so easy thing to do in the dark. Flip and launch a boat). I had thoughtfully brought a towel out for me to sit on and positioned it carefully on the cold plastic seat. I got in, pushed off, and magic happened.

It was as quiet as a church full of old people on a summer night (no snoring, though!). My bare skin was tingly with the rising mist and the cool air. Owls hooted back and forth, a few of the later loon called, and, when I lifted the paddle to just listen, the water played a nocturnal sonata. I couldn’t exactly see where I was going. I knew the lighter parts of the area were open lake surrounded by the dark jagged silhouettes of trees. I tried to keep my craft in the treetops, I didn’t have on my life jacket and I knew that water was cold. (If I tipped in, I’d prefer to be knee deep rather than neck or further!) I discovered another beautiful sound as I hovered near the shore. Along the edge of the lake many kinds of grasses thrive. Most of the ones further out are hollow. The tunes they played as I skimmed through were haunting!  I heard a few frogs, leaves or something falling from the trees (it was a liquid sliding sound), and once I thought I heard something moving. When I picked up the flash to shine it in the woods, I don’t think it was anything. Or if it was, it was gone.

This is about when the wind swirled around me and I decided to head back to the house. I had also heard a vehicle and was seriously hoping the people next door weren’t coming home late! (They have had lights on inside and outside for more than 24 hours.) I got back to where I ‘park’ and realized the little light that used to be my spotlight is out. (or it fell over) I’ll check it in daylight when I go and fix the kayak. Launching it was not easy, getting it back on land and turning it over was more difficult! I had to use the flash a LOT and that caught the attention of the dogs next door. (who have not stopped barking for the last 45 min or more!) Hiking back to the house wasn’t fun on the slippery hill and my hair kept getting in my mouth!!! I was huffing it out from my face, sounding a lot like a moose in browse! Thankfully, a real one still didn’t show.

I was glad to have this beautiful chance to do something almost in touch with nature (almost cuz I did have on some cloth and did not touch water or earth with flesh). It was truly one of those golden bead moments, even if I didn’t see a bright harvest moon.

UPDATE: I woke before 7 and saw not a cloud in the sky and the sun starting to rise, it is halfway down the trees across the way as I type! (photos from earlier this week)