On a Cloud

heartcloud Mum has this very thick not small down comforter. Today has been difficult, mum is much the same, but I forgot to take my long acting insulin again last night. Only this time, I wasn’t sure for sure and waited til this morning to take some. When my blood sugars went all wonky and everything was ridiculous. I did a lot of sleeping (I do this when my sugars are really bad, it is as if my body needs to shut down and rest) and some of it was under this cloud blanket. I imagine clouds must be like this blanket-slippery and heavy and warm. (I know they are NOT, but it is nice to imagine it!)

I was a good place to imagine being touched and pleasured. The warm heaviness atop of me, the awkward moving around on a too small surface, and the feeling of being surrounded by comfort. I’ll have to sleep under it in less than full clothing sometime! 

A Natural Experience


I was looking for this story and finally found it in an old blog I had not deleted yet. It is from July 2015. I copied it and edited it lightly. So glad 😁 it was still live! Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did kayaking!

This is a photo from this summer on an Alaskan lake. I was wearing shorts and a tank top and it was HOT outside. It was not from tonight’s experience.

It has been a long week.  I had wanted to go to the beach today and walk, but once I got home, I just stayed put. The weather had been really warm and the outside temp, at 1045 pm, still read 60 degrees F. I was alone at the house and realised I could do something I’d never done before, something from  my someday list. So, I stripped to almost nothing, slipped into a flannel shirt that almost covered my panties, grabbed my life jacket, and popped down to the lake.

The lake was as still as bathwater, but much colder. The surface had a fuzzy sheen as it was covered in fluff from black cottonwood. You could see the different kinds of trees and the remnants of the sunset reflecting on the dark water. The entire scene projected peace. Our lake is in the shape of a key. Our house is on one side of the long part and we now have neighbors on the other side. I glided up to the handle part of the key and paddled to the side where no one would see me.

I then shrugged off my life jacket and stuffed it down by my feet; toed off my water shoes; delicately squiggled my way out of my panties (NOT easy in a kayak), leaving them by my shoes; and pushed my flannel shirt behind me to lean back on. I was as free as a 60’s chick at Woodstock!

The tranquil setting was perfect. I dipped the paddle into the cotton dotted lake and when I felt the air move, I stopped. The kayak drifted lightly with the momentum of the breeze. Not far, it was just enough to rustle the leaves in the trees and disturb my hair a bit.  It felt lovely on my skin. I could feel all the cares of the week fall away. The lake water dripping on my body was cool, but not unpleasant. I felt completely one with the world around me. I could hear mum’s dog barking in the house, people talking at the neighbor’s, and yet those noises of humanity didn’t matter. I relished the sounds of the birds calling, the branches moving in conversation with their leaves, and the splash of the ducks as they wove patterns on the glassy surface of their home.  I stayed on the lake for quite a while. Not quite until dark, but am sure it was after midnight when I beached the kayak on the shore (after getting ‘dressed’ again!). It was an idyllic evening etched in my memory for life.

The only thing that would have made this better was if it had been raining. Although, Alaskan rain is rarely warm.



Our 24 toed cat, Moses.

My day started out with a promise of seeing someone dear to me. Wasn’t sure it would happen, but I so wanted it. And not just cuz I would get a shower during my visit!

The water at mum’s house has never been powerful, I didn’t think about it much. It was just an odd thing at mum’s. Except, it wasn’t. And was getting worse. I had mentioned it a couple of times to the The Toyman (he makes wooden toys in his spare time). After he heard what I was planning on doing, he came out to look at things. Mum had hired him for a number of projects over the years, although she hadn’t asked for advice in draining a water heater (it did not need it). He came out when I was planning on leaving. I helped for a bit, then when he left to get more parts, I left, too. 😊

I was met by my friend with open arms, some much desired TLC, and enjoyed myself thoroughly. 💜💜 Life intervened and I was able to take a lovely shower. During the shower, the lights dimmed and it got dark and then light. I started giggling, sure my friend was playing with the switch. I peeped out and found no one was there. I immediately stopped giggling! It happened a couple more times and I finished and dried off, eyeing the switch nervously. While tidying up the bath, the rod holding the curtain fell! 😳 I am very glad nothing happened while shaving delicate bits!

The rest of the day was filled with more wonderful people, calling me by name (so nice when people in people jobs recognize this particular people!) and helping me get things done. I did discover at one business, I was having trouble proving I was me because I had given them part of my Oregon phone number and not my i.d. 🤔

I got back to mum’s and found we have a sturdy stream of water! 🎉🍾🎉 A true cause for celebrating! Also, my dad restored jukeboxes. He left lots of itty bitty tools, thus, I can fix my glasses. 👓 A screw came out, popping the lens out onto the couch. Am so glad it was in a place where I could find the pieces!

Yes, I am a very contented girl, today. Golden days are a joy!

She fell to pieces

IMG_4591 - Copy I know dreams are more than likely “an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato.” (Charles Dickens)  I know in ‘White Christmas’ Bing Crosby related different sandwiches to kinds of women he’d dream about. Dreams can come from a number of things.  For me, I did have mustard and cheese yesterday, so they could be the reason mine was so odd. It was short. More of a scene than a dream, but I was sleeping and it woke me. I was on the step of mum’s house, bidding her goodbye. Everything seemed to be doing great and she was well. I told her since she was fine, I was going to go back to Oregon. I hugged her and as I hugged her she crumbled like paper. Or more like an old plastic doll when the legs and arms pop off. It wasn’t gross, but it was startling. She fell to pieces right in my arms! 

Today wasn’t one of her better days. 


tableIt has come to my attention I did not share this story as I said I would. It is a bit too long, but whatever! Hope you enjoy it- Babysitting for the Cop

Lea looked up from her book on the dining room table and cocked her head toward the ceiling. The footsteps she heard were louder than the smaller ones the twins would make. She had been hired to watch some preschoolers for a family and it was their naptime. She was pretty sure they were down for at least an hour, but sometimes they were more rambunctious than usual. She heard a door close softly and knew their dad had checked on them. Lea smiled to herself and shrugged off her button up shirt. Now, she was sitting demurely at the table, reading in a skirt and bra. She had already removed her panties.

Seducing the dad in the family had never been in her plans, but plans change.

The dad, a local police officer, worked nights and worked out in his off time. He was often home in the afternoon for several hours. He also had a tendency to wander the house after he woke, wearing nothing but a pair of partially buttoned Levis with a visible, delectable happy trail. At first, Lea was embarrassed. Over time, she grew aroused and now, she was going to show him what happened when he teased the babysitter. She had been hired because of her decades of sitting experience and today she would share some of her other talents with this man of the house.

The old stairs creaked on each step. Lea’s tingled from her head to her toes and she felt warmth between her legs. She was so ready to take down this cute, younger cop. She knew when he reached the edge of the dining room on his way to the kitchen for his ‘morning’ cup. He stopped and she felt his stare. She looked up from her book, staring back firmly. Lea knew his favorite color was green, which was why she was wearing a sheer green bra. She reached down to the bag near her feet and pulled out the matching see thru panties and placed them on the book. They shared reading tastes and this particular fantasy novel was one from his shelves. The part the cloth was draped over was erotic. Judging from the crease marks in the book, it was a favorite section. He looked at the book and back up at her breasts.

“Read it.” his gravelly voice seemed hoarser than usual. ‘Please?’

Lea grinned to herself. First step in the take down. He’s off balance and asking for something. She licked her lips, making sure he saw every movement of her agile tongue and proceeded to read the words on the page. She had to move the panties and she heard his breath catch as her fingers rubbed the fabric while she spoke. She noticed he had moved closer when she reached the last sentence in the scene.

His eyes darted between her fingers and her prominent nipples displayed through the bra. She noticed his hands clenching and a bulge looking to burst from the few buttons he’d closed on his jeans. She deliberately looked at his groin and licked her lips again. Then she spoke.

“Did you enjoy that?”

At his nod, she gestured toward the chair she’d left angled near the table.

“Would you like to sit down?”

He dropped to the seat in an instant. Lea stood up, showing off her short skirt and bare stomach. It wasn’t tight like a teen, but she was pretty sure this policeman was the poster child for ‘show a man a naked woman and he’ll do anything she asks.’ He’d already passed the second step. Answering questions and following directions. She flipped up her skirt, showing a bare pussy, and he reached for her. She stepped back.

“No. All good things come…”

He smiled at her. “to those who wait.”

Lea walked behind him and trailed her panties over the hard shoulders and around his neck. She whispered into his ear how at first she had been nervous around him, but not anymore. She licked at the tip of his ear and then down the edge. She kissed and nibbled over the chiseled planes of his shoulders and flicked her tongue on the throbbing vein at the side of his neck. He sat perfectly still, virile granite. If there was such a thing. Lightly, she traced the tattoos on his back and biceps with fingers and lips and tongue. She moved to his front and gazed at the dazed off duty police officer. Lea placed her hands on his shoulders and ran them down his chest as if she were examining a solid wall hiding a secret. She placed them flat on his thighs and leaned over to his cheek. Her voice whispered words as her hands followed the muscles under his jeans.

“I am going to sit on the table and you will do exactly as I ask. Can you, a dominant, strong policeman, do that for me?”

 At his nod, she moved to the table, boosted herself up with her toe on the edge of his chair, and sat bare assed where his wife put her plate during meals.

“Turn around and face me, like you are seated for dinner, but not too close.”

He did exactly as she asked and she knew this younger hot cop with a family was hers to take. She was going to play with this man. He deserved it. Her hands ran over her torso, moving over the lace and then under it. Lea lifted her breasts out of her bra and propped them on the edges of the cups. This move held them up and squashed them together. He seemed to like the lewd display. Deftly, Lea’s hands moved over her body, rolling and pulling on the taut nipples. The policeman seemed to be panting. His mouth was open a bit. She could see his heart vein pounding and took pity on the man. She bent forward and offered him a breast. He latched onto the nipple like a starving infant. Her back curled into him and she groaned as he suckled her tit. His tongue laved around the areole, lips tugging on the protruding pink nub. She was dropping into ecstasy. She wanted more.

“Touch my pussy. Finger fuck me!”

His long fingers trailed up her leg, slipping under her skirt.  Lea spread her legs further apart. He slid on her heat and then dove into her wet hole leaving his thumb to press on her clit. One hand reached back to hold her ass still, the other was magic. Thrusting and pumping, his arm moved like an orgasm machine. He continued to follow her lead until her juices gushed into his hand. He could feel her quiver around the fingers still inside. He wanted to taste her, but didn’t move from where she had him pressed against her breast. At her request, he held his soaked hand up for her to lick off. Lea tasted herself on his lean, strong hands and closed her eyes with the exquisite memory of their dexterity. Suddenly, she heard something and hopped off the table. In seconds she had grabbed her top and panties and was dressed.

“The twins will be down shortly. Scurry off to your shower! Shoo!”

Wide eyed, the policeman looked at the suddenly businesslike babysitter. How had she gotten tidy so fast?

“But, I didn’t come,” he almost whined the words.

She grinned at the tall, steely muscled baby sitting in the chair in front of her. Gently, she kissed him on his forehead, pulled him up, turned him to the bathroom, and swatted his sexy ass.

“You were good, but you can wait.”

Need an attitude adjustment!

bunnyboots Bunny boots are an Alaskan thing. They are not boots with rabbits in them, but this photo is particularly cute! I am sharing it cuz when I sent off the boxes of Easter treats, I thought it was cute. And a mom thing. Well, it was a mom thing. I just need to remember that mom’s…well…we are often just the mom. Sometimes we expect one thing, only to find it might really be something else. Or is it? 

14900477_1249547131759493_385142145576833618_n Monday evening I got a text from the VA kid who calls often. ‘I got the box.’ Tonight, I get a text from my spouse saying pretty much the same thing and that he’d call later. He did. He said on the phone it had arrived and the younger son was enjoying the gum. I mentioned the gum had been for him, but was reminded I had not put names on anything. The son was overheard in the background to say, ‘The ulu is mine!’ I laughed a bit, I had mentioned that in the short note I had packed in the box.  Later, after several pauses in the conversation and subject changes, my husband said ‘Thank you.’ It was in an odd place and I asked him, ‘For what?’ He replied, ‘The box.’ I said it was no problem and said I had used the debit card to mail them. Which brought the conversation back to money and I was sorry I used the card to pay part of my Alaskan phone bill the other day. (I generally use saved cash for this, but ended up needing to pay the cab guy for breaking into mum’s car)

It was odd. There wasn’t any mention of the several dozen PB chocolate chip cookies I’d packed in it or the candy or the Alaskan ice cream scoop I had purchased for him.  I am a silly girl. He did say thank you and he did call me. My attitude is in need of adjustment! 

I’m not sick

IMG_4166 I’m annoyed. If I could only get out onto the lake and be naked in the kayak with my quietest toy! Unfortunately, the lake is solid ice and the temps are about 29, with the wind.

I had thought I could get away this morning, but she didn’t let me. OK, it was my choice to stay with her. I had just given her two of her pain pills and felt nervous about letting her sleep without me here. I had planned to be gone thru lunch and I honestly wasn’t sure she’d wake to take her shots or even eat.  She has trouble taking her shots anyway. It was 11 am when the dog woke her to play (he put a toy next to her face and barked). I heard the TV go on and went upstairs to give her a breathing treatment (she had already set it up, last night. Hope the solution is ok for sitting out for more than 12 hours!). When I went up, she asked me if I was sick. No, just frustrated in a way you don’t necessarily mention to your mum! 


Gold spot in an Alexander Day


Absolute best photo of about 24 taken today. I think I will use this one several times! 

An Alexander Day is one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad ones. The kind which happen, even in Australia. (Right, Gary?) My blood sugars were high when I checked this morning. They were fine last night. I think I’m overly stressed and under sexed. Or just over stressed. No, well, both.

Anyway, got mum up for her appointment and managed to get fairly organised. Mum was a tad put out with something while I was driving, don’t recall what. Got to the appointment and I had two bags I was sorting to take one inside. As I shut the door to the car, I remembered, I had taken the keys from my pocket to put in a bag. The bag I left inside the car. So, I called the local cab company. I’ve done this sort of thing, at the exact same place,  before. Mum was extremely put out with me. If she had been driving she’d have not locked the keys in the car. Other people do such things, and sometimes mum, but NOT when it is important. Suddenly, while pacing outside, I noticed mum was gone. She’d gone to her appointment without me. I waited for the cab company, who excels in breaking and entering, and chatted to a lovely lady who taught mum how to make onion rings. Mum also taught her kids piano. The super awesome man from Alaska Cab arrived and managed to get into the car…and set off the alarms. I could not unlock the car doors and had to climb around the seat to get to my bag in the back seat to get the key. A Chrysler Pacifica is a pain in the butt. I went back in and found out they did not want me to sit in the appointment at all. I was so MAD. Mum has no memory of what is what. Later, I found out mum’s person in charge didn’t have results from a blood draw done last week. They had been faxed to her by the most incredible nurse taking care of mom with home health. Mum didn’t remember who had done it last or that they had been sent in already. But, I wasn’t there to give them this information!

On the way home, I asked if she wanted to see a friend or eat lunch at the local SR Center. No. She did not. She had silly excuses for each one (It is too early to visit and I don’t know the menu at the center). Got home, she took a nap, I woke her for a late lunch, changed her fitting for her ileostomy, and then went outside to call my aunt on my cell phone (it won’t work in the house) while mum napped more. During my conversation, the house phone rang. Mum had to wake from her nap  and answer it. She was annoyed I had not gotten it first (hung up on my aunt).  I tried to find out where the call came from, appears to have been a private number. During mum’s appointment today, we found out she may need carpal tunnel surgery on her hand and they’d call her to make an appointment. It wasn’t them.  But, I talked to my sister, who was also a ‘not picked up number’. She told me how her daughters (a 28 year old and an 11 year old..or is she 12?) don’t like to visit with mom on the phone or in person because Nana is mean.  It made me sad. My 28 year old son calls my mum every so often and chats for a very long time.

The gold part was next. Mum finally woke up and I decided to go on another hike to look for birds. (I really wish I had taken the ornithology class in college I wanted to take, but it wasn’t in the major I don’t use)  Didn’t see much, but it was an incredible walk. I was glad. Coming home sucked. It was dinner time and I checked my blood. It had been just over 250 when I left for my walk. When I got back? It was over 350. So much for moving being good for you. Sheesh.

Mum told me we should have eaten at the center, they had roast beef. I rolled my eyes while I was rushing around in the kitchen. I forgot to get mum’s shot and her pancreas enzymes with the dinner (it was a convoluted dinner). I got her breathing treatment for her and started my wash. I started my wash because, well, I needed to. BUT, I also came downstairs because I scratched my shoulder and started to bleed on my new shirt!!!!!!  I got a band aid and started my laundry. Which is why I am online. While I was upstairs watching baseball and giving mum her meds,  the damn machine started to beep. I came down to babysit it and it has only beeped once. To tell me it was done. (it is still not working well, I turn off the cold water for the last spin cycle) And just now? Mum yelled at me. ‘Do I need my breathing treatment?’ She had forgotten she had gotten it.

I’d go to bed, but there is still several hours of of day left! 

What time does-

18833_1210201975522_1043602_n 1972. We were with our 3rd dad. I remember this because of the stuffed toy I am holding (I’m the older one!). We had gone to a big city to get Easter presents (probably Kenai!!). We got to choose our stuffed animals. My sister wanted the big bright bunny. I chose the little lamb, because it was missing a tail. My step dad was really surprised I wanted it, but I prevailed. Eventually, Lamby was mine and I loved it well!

The craziest thing about this photo is today. I went to church with mum this morning. It was not easy to listen to her tell people how well she is and people who told me how well she looked. They really need to stay all day with her. Mum has attended Methodist churches off and on and then finally on since we moved to Alaska. Before that we were Lutherans. I think. At any rate, when this photo was taken, we had not been attending anywhere, but the bulk of our background was Methodist. Today, my sister has recently joined the Jewish faith and I attend a Christian church (background from The Stone-Campbell Restoration Movement in the 1800’s-Long story.). My personal faith is eclectic and allows for other thoughts, ideas, and grows as I do. My mum’s. Well, she is set in her ways and is incredibly irritated with the fact her youngest daughter has tossed out anything to do with ‘traditional’ holidays and beliefs. Literally, in many cases. Although my sister has not gotten rid of her Hallmark Star Trek ornaments, she has unloaded all the other collections mum tediously purchased for my sister and her spouse and mum’s youngest grandchild. I find it unusual, but it isn’t my faith. Mum, she has gotten very upset.

My sister had thought about coming to visit mum today and asked if it would be ok. Mum asked her why she’d come over (remember: my sister has not been to visit mum since the start of March, when she brought the dog back. They live about 30 min from mum and my sister works less than 10 min away.). Sister replied it was Easter. Mum snippily responded, ‘You don’t believe in Easter anymore. What would you do here?’ In the end, she didn’t come over with the family.  Which was good in the long run. Mum was super tired. But, I was frustrated at dinner. Mum seemed almost gleeful that we were eating ham for dinner and my sister couldn’t. I asked her not to be mean and she said she wasn’t being mean, she was just saying we could eat it and they couldn’t. 

I felt sad for my sister. I look at the tiny grinning face in the photo and wish my mum could show some tolerance and empathy towards the woman she’s become. Granted, my little sister drives me bonkers in less than a parsecond, but I’m not going to constantly tear down her faith, her clothing style, her hair, her looks, or how she raises her family. It is very different, but it is really none of my business. (it does provide a bit of fodder for good stories, though!) 

Spring fun!


Usually Becky nominates one of my blogs, this time it was Will, from ‘A Writer’s Envy’. I am truly humbled. I just dabble in words. Will and Becky and Gary and Mr. Wayne and so many many more I follow really write. I will try to answer the 11 questions posted by Will, but I am not going to nominate 11 people. Nose crinkle. It is just not something I feel comfortable with doing. I will share blogs on my FB wall and in here, but the other is just not easy for me. However, at the moment, I have a task to complete. So, let me dive in and see where they go! 

  1. Who, above all others, inspires you in your writing? I read all the time. My favorite authors change from book to month to season. I’m not sure if Jean Webster’s book ‘Daddy-Long-Legs’ inspires me, but it is one of my super top favorite books. Not really a ‘Who’, but there are too many of them! 
  2. Which of your posts is your favorite? Provide a link if you’d like. A favorite post???? This particular blog is my unfiltered FB. I say things here my sister or family won’t see. I can let myself go into the person I enjoy being, not just the public one. I can share how mom is really doing and my frustrations which surround the job I’ve chosen to take on. 
  3. Is your work published? I don’t work. I have cats. (I was told this by a preschooler. I think I agree)  I wrote some poetry in a college  eons back. It was put in a college book. I won ribbons for poems at our county fair in Oregon (those were fun!!!). 
  4. Some academics say rhyming poetry is passé; do you agree? Piffle!!!!!! I will strike at them like Milo breaking the walls of the Soundkeeper’s fortress with a single word. However, I’ll use entire hardbound Dr. Suess classics. I will smite them here or there, I will smite them anywhere! 
  5. Have you taken a creative writing course? A couple here and there and one complete children’s writing course. Thoroughly enjoyed myself. 
  6. How long have you been writing? I have been writing since the day I could hold a pencil in my tiny grasp. But, I ultimately prefer to read. I am a voracious reader. Give me words and I can breathe. 
  7. When stumped for a word or a phrase, what do you do? I am more often stumped with the spelling of said word. Spell check is generally not useful. I then opt to use a different word, recrafting entire sentences to convey the thought. Basically, I have to meander around pronouns and verbs because my spelling sucks. Or, I ask my 23 year old. 
  8. Do you listen to music when you write? If so, what genre? I am a late 70’s early 80’s teen. How  I could study to WHAM!, Tears for Fears, ELO, Jethro Tull, and Fleetwood Mac, I will never know. Today? I tend to prefer quiet. House sounds or nature ones from outside. I think it is the mom in me. Shhhhhhh!!!!!! 
  9. If asked to describe yourself in one sentence, what would you say? HA!!! This was one of Will’s previous posts. I came  up blank. I’m still blank. 
  10. Have you read your work before an audience? When I was in Jr High (7-9th grade, the 9th grade hadn’t moved to the High School yet), I rewrote ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’ starring the characters from Dallas. (yeah, I’m that old!!!) I read the poem while it was re-enacted by some friends for a Christmas school program thing. I think Santa might have shot JR, but am not entirely sure. It was a very long time ago. I love reading aloud. I don’t care who writes it! 
  11. Is the universe an accident, a random occurrence, or was it purposely created? I am for creation. I’ve never been able to believe all of everything was an accident or random thing. I can duplicate an accident or random incident. Creation is not as easy. Just ask Dr. Frederick Frankenstein. 

Now it is 230 in the morning in Alaska. I am going to go and check on my mum and then sail off in my wooden shoe for a bit of a nap!