It Will Be Done

As many of you might know, this last week has been difficult. Yet, there is light. Eventually. I’m pretty sure it isn’t a train or a car with one headlamp, it is dim, but I know it is there.

Friday was going to be super busy. It was looking like one of those days where I had a million errands. I wasn’t happy, one of the things I needed to do was see if I could get my phone fixed. Somehow, I managed to lose all my contact information. NOT the texts and phone numbers, just who sent them and anyone in contacts, alarms, ect. (So many were people who I only talk to on the phone, not a good thing. I now have 32 when I had over 80! I guess that is one way to clear up your phone!)

So, I was lounging in bed when I got a text. I wasn’t wanting to open it, there are some texts I’m less thrilled to get than others! (I could block that person, but they aren’t bad mean texts, they just make me uncomfortable to get!) Anyway, it was from Patience, the author who purchased mum’s sewing machine. The embroidery part wasn’t working properly. It was making ghost images on her fabric and she was wondering if I could start proceedings with the post office, since I’d insured it. This was an interesting errand, so I added it to my list. (I was glad I’d used a very long piece of paper).


At the post, I learned it would be better for her to pursue them. We were advised to have her take it in to a repair person for an estimate and she’d keep me posted (I know, pun.). While in the parking lot, I was texted by a lady who had taken one of mom’s unfinished projects. She wanted to meet me and give them to me. (it was aprons mum had not finished for the two cancer clinics she was a patient at.) I told them I’d meet them at noon in town. (another stop, but I’d already checked off two, so I was good!)

I got all the errands done near the house, dropped off stuff for the historical society (mom said she’d turned everything in, but I seriously don’t know what she turned it. I shredded bank statements and tossed newspapers and what not that went back to the late 70s!), and realized I didn’t quite have enough time before noon to drop something else off. Town isn’t really that large, unless you look on a map. (One of the mayors spread the city limits out to places that no one really calls the city! It is disconcerting when you are on the road and see signs saying the town is a mile away, but it is really much more than that!) Anyway, I stopped in a parking lot and texted the apron lady that I had arrived. She said to look for a St. Bernard looking out a window. I got out of my rig and heard the dog, but I didn’t see it at first. He was a super friendly pup when I reached them. He’s still a puppy, he was chewing on empty water bottles and what not in the car! I almost cried when she gave me the aprons. She’d completed 4, two different styles and 4 different colors. Mum had used things called D rings on them, but this lady left the strings long. Which made more sense because they were easier for anyone to wear. (the rings made the aprons shorter for tall people)

It was late and I was so emotional with thanks, I opted to get lunch instead of eat my Luna bar. I did several more errands (stopped to make an appointment, by left eye might be infected…) and received another text. This one almost seemed ominous. The woman had been at the craft sale and wanted to meet me at JoAnne’s. A bit later, she sent me a text rerouting us to the library. One of my stops wasn’t complete, I had forgotten the office was closed. However, I did stop there on my way to the library!

At the library, I met one of the kindest women in the world. (she is also a person with type one diabetes, so that makes her doubly precious to me) She had a pillow with her. Actually, it was a filled pillow case, but it looked like a pillow. She got a key and we went into a conference room. She then told me a story about mom’s sale when we were unpacking things. A bag of odd looking scraps was found. When she got it home, she realized it was a bag of hand quilted blocks from what she thinks was 30 years ago. So, she and some others changed a few things, finished the  quilt, and gave it to me. (I’m still in awe and teary when I look at this) Inside the pillowcase was the quilt. (apparently, storing quilts in plastic is BAD. A pillow case helps the fibers breathe.)

As I got done with the rest of my errands for Friday (I couldn’t recover the contact information. It needs redone manually), I was struck by something (no, the traffic was HORRIBLE, but thankfully, I managed to not be hit by any tourists!). When I spoke with a friend who might come out to help on Sunday with another friend, I realized as much as mom left undone, someone sometime will finish it. Me, a total stranger, friends, family, and more. I may feel completely alone sometimes, but I’m not really. There are threads of mom everywhere being tied off and completed. It is incredibly humbling. Time consuming and humbling.

Oh, and I heard from Patience.  She said the repair man knew exactly what was wrong and fixed it for under 55$. (more threads of mom being used across the United States!)

To Scream

man person face portrait

Photo by Pixabay on

This last week has been ridiculous. I have wanted to post, but I’m so far behind in everything, one more just doesn’t matter. Monday I had two lovely bull moose in the yard. The first one didn’t seem to mind me photographing while naked (convoluted story. I was going downstairs to get clothes and saw it out the window and so, I slipped outside. The second moose, I had on a t-shirt. No one minded!).


(the photo of him looking at the lake was when he heard there was something down there. I loved the look on his face when he turned back to look at me!)


I was also texting Ms Monster (yikes! Nude texting!!!) and almost late for a lunch meeting. That didn’t matter, the woman was sick and forgot to tell me. After the not lunch, I made my bed (I never leave my room in the morning without making my bed!!) and checked to make sure the kayak hadn’t been stepped on by those big boys. It was ok, at least, I think it is! The moose topped the fireweed around it, but they didn’t step on the craft.


Jake came out later that day and ‘shopped’. (she sorted through the things I was going to get rid of and we went through some of mom’s clothes I’d not packed up yet. She will also take some of the pictures we didn’t want to a consignment store in ANC. I am also hoping they have a consignment fur store. Mum had a LOT of fur!!) It was good cuz I did get rid of a few things, but I’m not as organized as I need to be. I managed to keep the Hansel and Gretel print she wanted. I liked it because it was story book, she wanted it cuz it was old.

I met the new pastor at mom’s church the other night. She seems like a good match, only time will tell. (Not being impressed with religious institutions is a political post I will not touch!) My back aches, I’m sleeping way too much (I sleep well, but too much!) and I was reminded I like to whine (that was earlier this month). I finally got my clothes washed and most of them dried for this week!

It is almost August and I’m barely done with a single room in this damn house. I looked that single room today and thought I was making progress, then I picked up an item that was supposed to belong to a doll in the basement. Which reminded me the basement is still fairly full.  I was supposed to have a run away day this Thursday, but thankfully my friend forgot about it. I don’t have time to do anything but work and cry. My solace are two games I play for about 40 min a day while eating, sitting in the sun for another 40 and low carb ice cream. If I didn’t have to drive to town to wash or do basic chores, I’d have more time. As I said, I’m not very organized! I cannot believe I’ve been here since mid-May and so little is done!

The U-box the guys packed is ‘ready’ for pick up. That seems like a grand way to move things, but it leaves me unimpressed. They are supposed to call when the box arrives. The tracking shows when it left the place we’d dropped it off in Alaska and when it arrived in the city in WA. No information during the in between parts. They haven’t called. The Craftsman (because I was bossy) was checking the tracking number and noticed it was in. He’s called the store in WA several times and has talked to a young man who has told him (a) he can get a box, would he like to reserve one? (b) the manager is unavailable, he can’t answer the questions about when he can get the full box and (c) if he doesn’t get the store in Washington, he gets shunted off to the main U-Haul company line. The worst part? The day the box ‘arrived’ in WA was the day they added another month of rental because we had the box for more than a month. Incredibly inefficient. I’ve several things I need to ship from here and I have no idea how that will happen.

I’ve been advised more than once to sell. It is still full of stuff. I’m supposed to have an estate sale in 3 weeks, I’ve not advertised yet. It is too discombobulated. I was close to tears so many times yesterday. One person hugged me, thankfully I managed to pretend the tears were my eyes watering (they do that constantly, it drives me nuts and looks terrible!). I’m so thankful for those people who have been helping me, I need more and now, people are too busy. It reminds me of when mom was sick. The first few months after she was in the hospital in ANC, I was given some help. Mom was visited often. Then, we moved out north and I was alone except for my online community. At first (I think), helping out here was fun. But, now it is getting old. There are other people who are more interesting and closer to town, it is fishing season, and people are just summer time busy. I’m grateful for the couple hours a week my sister can donate.

Whining over. For now. I’m going to cry a few minutes and get something else done. I do have lists. The one I’ve been working on has nine items on it that need done ASAP. The today and tomorrow lists are shorter. Most of those are chores.

Thankfully, the sun is out today. You can see fall is on the way in the bright berries forming, the tall fireweed is almost finished blooming, and the rustling trees are reluctantly shaking one or two golden coins onto the earth as they dance in the breezes.  It is an incredibly  beautiful world!


Raindrops are Falling on my Head

This is another favorite song from a while ago. If I remember the movie correctly, it was one of the first ones to romanticize bad guys. As a teen, I fell in love with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, carefully mentally editing those scenes where they shot people who bled graphically! (in the photo below, raindrops weren’t falling at that moment, but you can tell from the sparkles on the fireweed that they had been falling!)

Mum’s SABLE (Stash Acquired Beyond Life Expectancy) sale has been completed. There was a good sized crew of amazing women (and a few men) who helped this all come together. I woke Saturday night wondering if it was really done! I must admit, I’ve been second guessing some of the things I did (like NOT putting the expensive priced knitting kits with the regular yarn. I am certain they walked off in bags of ‘choose your own price’.). And with the rain, I was worried about the fabric and remnants of the stash, left under tarps in trucks til Monday morning. (The latter was done by the nice people who came to get it for a second hand store.) Yet, it isn’t my responsibility any longer and I have other things I need to do! As for the yarn, as a friend said, ‘People come to these sorts of events for steals.’ (So, I reckon a few got some, like the pick up full of bags of yarn!!!)

At 9 am, the doors opened and those queued outside came in and quietly packed up bags and bags and bags of crafting supplies. Some paid generously and others didn’t. I’m sure it all evened out (it was a donation sort of payment thing, except for those few things I knew had worth). It was odd the women with fancy nails, very nice clothing, and blinged out handbags were less open handed than others who dressed like ordinary folk. I’m glad it is done. Now, I can get to the real part of the house and it is so cool my bedroom echoes!!

When things were being unpacked before the sale, the ladies found some super awesome things and gave them to me. An Eskimo yo-yo (not made overseas!), some more of a ceramic chess set mum made that is in the shop of the garage (why it was in crafting stuff, one can only imagine!), and a million unfinished projects. I only cried a couple of times. Once when a nice lady offered to finish up a project and take the aprons to the Oncology centers (mum had been making them for the nurses, but didn’t count right. Now, the places have been partially restaffed, but it was a beautiful thing to choose to do). The first time was when a man came in with his wife and said to me, ‘I worked with your dad, he was a good man.’ I left the table and ran after him to talk about dad for a minute.

There were so many stories told to me about mum. (One lady I sincerely hope remembers to friend me on FB.) I’d mentioned I wanted to take mum to Homer and she was surprised mum had never been. I amended my comment and said, ‘Oh, we started there in the 70’s, but mum wanted to go back the last couple of years and we didn’t.’ The woman was very surprised cuz SHE lived in the same town at the same time we did and hadn’t known. I told her mum was pretty closemouthed about her early years in AK. We talked about where we’d lived and places we both remembered. Then, I mentioned we’d lived in an area of town that was pretty remote with my third dad. Her face was shocked. ‘Your mom was married to that B..….’ She paused. ‘Man? He was one of the scariest guys in out there! We were told to stay away from his place!’ I laughed and agreed, but she was floored.

One question that I realized the answer to Sunday morning in the shower was this. Q: ‘Why don’t you do any of these things.’ It dawned on me that I did not do the same sorts of crafts that mom did because she was so critical. Jake had trouble with that, I wasn’t going to even go there. So, I didn’t. She could guilt me for many things, but she couldn’t criticize me for my knitting or crocheting or sewing. Although, she did often say it wasn’t right I didn’t do it because if I did I could help her. (insert mega eye roll!)

These next weeks will be more difficult. I need to get the line dug up (or should I just keep having it cleaned out, expensive band aid?), talk to someone about buying it (gods, I do NOT want to do that…), and sort for the sale of more personal things. I also need to stop whining! If I get too horrible, please pull me up shorter than I already am. (thank you!)

I’ll close with a moose playing peekaboo last week! (I wasn’t THAT close–)


Melting in the North!

This last week our Northern temps have been out of control. I honestly don’t recall being here with the thermometer rising up to 80 or more F. It is nasty icky hot. It is as if I’m in Eastern Oregon, except I have trees and a lake here. Haven’t seen any moose in a while, I did see an eagle fly low over the lake, and there are a few ducks still. I think the moose are keeping to the woods. I did get some shots last weekend of them in the lake—they don’t like being startled, though. We also had a mild quake the other day, 4.7, but I didn’t feel it out here.


Strider’s birthday was on the second (the first photo at  11 pm), I texted him. He’s been a bit busy! Then, today. (I’m rolling my eyes!) I didn’t sleep very well, I’m not entirely sure why. I had been sorting more stuff in the basement and had to stop. I wanted to cry, so that might be why I slept badly. (she has entirely too much stuff. Now, I’m to the older kits and craft materials. 10 years or more. The second photo is a fishing sinkers container that now has sequins!) I finished up a story I was working on. (it is a bit odd, even for me!) But, the day dawned bright and if the red skies in the morning are an ill omen, it didn’t pan out that way today! (I did think I might go out on the lake sometime at 4 am, it was so pretty and still when I got up for some reason) I was going to help with a project that I am entirely on board with. I’ve helped a bit with this, but not to the extent I did today (and I still skipped out before I was done!).


It is called ‘Days for Girls’. It is a mission to put sanitary pads in the hands of girls in places where they can’t get them. These were headed, I think, to Ecuador. Often when a girl has her period, she is not only considered unclean, she can’t go anywhere because she is bleeding. Now, I know there are women today who believe in ‘free bleeding’ and others who use cups or alternative containment sources (I wrote this awhile back), others don’t have any options. This gives them one. (Follow the link for more information.) Anyway, the lovely woman who takes these overseas has had a recurrence of her carcinoma. She was told she couldn’t travel. So, rather than let it worry her, a few of us decided to compile the kits into the bags and give her a bit of help in that area. She will still need to shrink wrap them all and get them ready to be sent off to Las Vegas (I think) where they will be taken further by others on the team.


I didn’t help as much as I wanted because the other reason I was in town was to see my niece in the parade and listen to my BiL play. Except, I could have helped! Pippi was late in the parade, after number 90 and her dad was gigging ALL day, not just the hour I anticipated. I walked all over and wore myself out in the heat trying to find them. I talked to several people and only my sister told me I had a white smut mark on my face from something. (Of course, I don’t know when I got that!) I needed to get more packing tape and finally got back to the house. I was so tired, I changed into almost nothing and fell asleep with my bear!

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I’ve been entirely unmotivated on this hot fourth. I remembered the guys had the day off and so I called. (more eye rolling with a bit of thinning of lips in a frustrated grimace.) Maxwell T Silverstone is in really bad shape. He pees everywhere, he has a lump under his jaw, an eye is bulging, and the vet said it would cost 95$ to put this 4 pound cat to sleep. They had discussed what to do. The Craftsman said he couldn’t do it the ‘farmer’s way’, Little Bear said he could. I got mad. I do not want my baby to shoot one of our oldest family members! I wanted to discuss this and The Craftsman didn’t really want to. He said he shouldn’t have told me cuz he knew I’d get upset. Which made me MORE upset! (If I can’t be told little hard things, what about things that are bigger?) I realized I’m not there, I can’t do anything. However, I did suggest looking in the cupboard for pet pain meds. (I know I had some, I’m not sure if I tossed them in a fit of downsizing, though!) I was told Max was hungry, he just can’t eat and he is a mess. So, I do hope they try an alternative sending him to sleep with the medication way of giving him rest. Little Bear is one of those odd people. Compassionate and practical. (The last death he was a part of as a fireman was harder on me! He and our neighbor were trying to resuscitate a guy and finally were told to stop. When I asked him about it, he said, those things just happen. He does show more emotion when it is drunks causing wrecks and death.)

The rest of this week and end, I am moving more stuff upstairs and more sorting. As we compiled the kits, I realized how much easier it is to organize something prior to doing it. I think that moving things here will help me be able to have a better idea of what mom actually had and how to get rid of it. Meanwhile, here is a young bull moose!