Thoughts and pictures

It’s been ages since I’ve wanted to say anything. I’ve been cooking, cleaning, and reading. Definitely boring! Im not trying hard enough to make The Craftsman the lodestar of my existence. (I’m not sure I want to.) I got more of my favorite flower for Valentine’s Day. I hadn’t purchased any for myself, the ones I’d gotten on my birthday still looked good. I’ll need to get more on March 1st. (I usually get out on Friday)

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Yet, much of my  month was waiting. I did make a snowman cuz we finally got snowman snow. Little Bear commented on it and asked if dad had helped. When I laughed and said no, he asked why. (The only persons to help me make snow people have been the boys. Little Bear last helped me a few years back) The Craftsman didn’t really say much in response.

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On the 28th, it was our 30th anniversary. He actually stayed home after dinner (I made something he liked.) He had gotten home a bit late because he stopped to get me something. It wasn’t what he wanted to get, but I’d mentioned I wanted to see it. (His gift was in the mail, it was delivered on Tuesday. I forgot about the bank holiday! It was a several CD version of The Screwtape Letters. He and the kid were very impressed. Little Bear mostly because the book has about 200 pages, double spaced…) Anyway, we watched ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Absolute great fun, especially if you were an 80s teen! (I knew he’d not like it much and he didn’t. Because he doesn’t like that sort of thing. There was guy kissing ) Then, a good night kiss and that was that. Of course, I did bring up I thought using drugs in movies was worse than a normal thing like kisses. Bad, Kris. Ruined the nostalgic evening.

I even took a picture of waiting this week. He puts the tv on pause and does things that need done. I generally read or something. I get sort of bored, I need more to do. At least one choice I’ve made this month, has been to wear short skirts and leggings. He seems resigned to my decision. Probably cuz I don’t wear either of them alone.

We did go out for a combined birthday lunch at a family favorite restaurant. Little Bear had a gigantic hamburger with roast beef and bacon and ham. He called it a double beef, double pig..🙄🙄🙄

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As mentioned, I’ve been reading a lot. A great deal of Anne McCaffrey. I love her stuff. This particular book, I’ve had since before my name was changed the first time by my adoptive dad! Probably jr high. It’s been a favorite. 💕💕 Can you tell? It’s held together with clear vinyl!

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Today, Saturday, was sunny and almost 50F! I decided to go outside and sit. Needless to say, my butt got slightly soaked! The wet was rather chilly. 😳😳 I took the kris picture and noticed I look tired. More tired than I did when I was taking care of mom. Crazy! (Part of that maybe cuz the sun was in my eyes…)

I’m back to that having everything I need and not exactly what I want. Perhaps, it’s cuz I don’t know what I want. I do know, lately, curling up in a ball and hiding has been a choice I’ve regretfully avoided. Stupid circuitous living.

One thing I’ve learned for sure. Friendship is the most important part of being alive. No matter how long that friendship lasts on earth, it will never vanish completely. Friends change us, for better or worse and almost always for the best.

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8 thoughts on “Thoughts and pictures

  1. That snowman is fun, Kris.
    Do you think that you miss the independence that you had when you were looking after your Mom? Perhaps you need something independent of the house to do? It seems that you are always waiting for everyone to come home.
    Happy anniversary. I think the Craftsman cares (if he bought you flowers and a gift), but perhaps just hitting his own mid life crisis. We all do… Especially when the kids are grown up doing their own thing. You need something meaningful to hang on to. It is probably why so many blogs are being written these days. We need to know that our existence has some meaning.

    I am off for a long walk with my husband shortly. We may talk, but it will be trivial because we disagree on so many things. Does that make it pointless to be together? No, not really. Life is never perfect, but we can glean tiny perfections from the mess we walk through. Companionship, exercise, sunshine, crisp air, bird songs, spitting leaves, happy bypasses, dogs on leads, babies feeding ducks…. All simple things, but good for the heart. Big problems will eventually resolve. Always look for the good stuff….

    By the way… I thought Bohemian Rhapsody was a great film. So did my husband. Some things, we do agree on!

    What kinds of films does the Craftsman like?

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    • We watch some of the same sorts of things. He enjoys old movies, but I can’t watch a screen every night the way he does. He also likes going to live theatre and so we do that maybe once a year or so. He’ll watch action stuff and The Hallmark channel…that latter one I cannot watch if you paid me! Even a few minutes makes me ill. I know he has romance in his soul, somewhere. It is more I need to change for his world.
      I do miss the independence I had up north. I did chores when they were needed, but I could also not. Here, my world is around my family and god is it dull!
      The funniest thing. I finally bought the book The Feminine Mystic (just cuz) and those women who feel trapped in their marriage are me! You are right, I do need to get out and do more. After I am done in AK, we’ll see what happens next.
      I do look for good things. I have a blessing blog in here and although I don’t post as often, I do post those little happy moments I find. xo

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