This first week back, I’ve seen many movies. Granted, I am pretty far behind in the Marvel Movie Universe, but I didn’t know we’d watch almost all of them in one week! (OK, we still have the Spiderman ones to watch and I think the first part of the Infinity War) I’m truly a Marvel fan. And definitely a fan of Tom Huddleston.
It has been hard to adjust to the house. I had forgotten to bring any of my travel toiletries, so didn’t have shampoo or soap for my first shower back (OH! The shower is lovely!!!!). There wasn’t any place to put my things (I’m finally mostly unpacked and it is now Saturday!) and the closet where I keep most of my clothes was full of dust and even cobwebs! (do you know that dusty clothes popped in the dryer with a dryer sheet makes them smell like floral scented burned dirt? I really need to wash them!) In fact, in my craft area, there are a great many webs as well as piled up things moved from another area of the room. I know The Craftsman cleaned, it was just there was so much for him to do. Even the yard is a mess and my rocking chair was left out. (I’m not sure why he didn’t keep the growth contained. He’s very good with lopping off and shaping trees, flowers can’t be too much different!)
My skin is incredibly dry here. No one has touched it but myself, so I guess that is ok. I’m too tired to try to instigate more and he’s always tired. I laughed to myself the other night when he mentioned he was looking forward to not being tired so we could ‘enjoy’ each other. I want to cry with frustration. I didn’t want to scrub when I arrived back (I don’t mind the cooking, I’ve made sit down meals every night and one batch of cookies and a cake. I was also told Saturday afternoon there was a church Thanksgiving dinner Sunday) and I’d like held for longer than a few seconds in a hug. Kissing would be nice, as well. I know I need to give the two of us time to see if we have a future. We’ve lost so much of the past, we need to get reacquainted again. I have been more assertive and I know that has raised some eyebrows (about activities and purchases). I haven’t had time to grieve here, either. But, I can see why. Mum was never much a part of this life. She visited a couple of times and was more of a presence than a person here. It has just been incredibly odd, to say the least.
The guys have some tasks to do up on the ‘ranch’. Something they’ve been working on most of the summer, but opted to wait til now to actually do. So, I’ve been alone most of this Saturday and part of Friday night. I need to find something to take to the meal tomorrow and the idea that they could do part of their project before 10 am, as well as tomorrow afternoon, is shocking! (Procrastination is strong in this family!)