A Day of Rest

dark yellow labrador retriever lying on the sea shore

Photo by Ruel Madelo on Pexels.com

And on the 7th day He rested, so did I. Yup, I left mom to the nurses this afternoon again and came home. I did take a book back to the library and stop to get a new bulb for mom’s car. The man who found it at the NAPA store was sweet He offered to install it for me. I said thank you. However, I’ll take it to Sir Wrench on Monday. If I’ve learned anything about a Pacifica, it is a damn ridiculous vehicle to do any maintenance on. I’ll add it to the other Monday things I should do. I need to get that new toilet seat for mom’s bath, stop at the car insurance place to let them know I smacked into one of their other customers, and drop off a few things at the food bank. I’ve got a great deal of food around here that mom will no longer be able to eat and I don’t want or need. I’m not sure if my sister wants any of it, but there are a some things I am sure she won’t take. (although, in retrospect, I think I’ll wait on that last stop. I’ll let Jake choose first.)

Today, after the doctor rounds and another small procedure, I just decided to leave. Mom was falling to sleep while eating and telling me to be quiet when nurses came in, so she could talk. She’s back to her normal self, making sure to ask the professionals about their lives outside of the hospital. They did find a clot in her arm, probably from the picc line. The NG tube is still in her nose, they don’t want to remove it if they’ll need to put it back. The PEG tube is still not working as well as they’d like and when I spoke to mom this evening, she said she asked them to not give her so many pain meds. She said they made her too sleepy. Comfort is not something mom has ever been interested in. (I’m glad I’m not one of her nurses. She’ll say she hurts, she may ask for more meds, and then because she asked them for less, they’ll feel bad they can’t help her.) I was amused. Mom said Jake told her she was glad I ‘stepped up to the plate to be with mom since she would not have been able to do it.’ (She’s right, she could not have done what I have. She doesn’t have the time, not to mention, her spouse is more aggressive than mine-he’d insist mom live with them!) Another member of mom’s church is also in the hospital. He was supposed to have gotten part of his foot amputated last week (diabetes), but they forgot he was on a blood thinner and rescheduled the operation. Today, it was discovered his foot is healing and he may only lose a toe. We were all very happy, but mom took it further. She said if he can get better, so can she. All the reality she was starting to face has turned back to optimism about becoming healed from the carcinoma she hosts. Lord knows, I’d like her to be healed completely. Then, she can be in charge again and I can pick up the thread of my own life and see if it is a snag or attached to a needle.

I think I’d like to find something to do when I return. I’m terrible socially, I prefer being alone, but I can do what I’m told, and like making people comfortable by taking care of them. Cooking or cleaning or most anything. I do not want to go back to the box in Oregon. (Besides, I’ve gotten much bigger since I’ve been home and I think I’ll need a refrigerator sized one. Although, the refrigerator is still a mini….) This last week, I’ve noticed how much more I’ve been eating. Scary. I am going to change that again. (Julie posted a chart that was a bit sobering. Good stuff, but sobering!) Maybe, by the time I leave, I’ll be able to comfortably wear the things I brought up here in Nov of 2016!

It rained today and it was absolutely lovely! I truly enjoy rain, I learned to appreciate it when we lived on the Oregon coast (not the flooding, that is interesting, but messy. And not having it muck up mom’s internet!) Sharing another favorite song from another well-loved musical in my family-compliments of YouTube. (this is the movie Moses is named after!!!)

9 thoughts on “A Day of Rest

  1. Enjoy that little bit of respite Kris… You are doing amazingly.

    I did pick up on this wonderful line that you wrote in relation to your Mom getting well… then
    “I can pick up the thread of my own life and see if it is a snag or attached to a needle.”
    That line says so much… Be well. Wishing you strength and energy.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I hear you and I have gained weight as well. It seems impossible to lose with the amount of stress we are under.
    I read your lines and we are truly on the same path. So much reminds me of Mom and the stubbornness they seem to share. The split personalities that can change from moment to the next. It really is a sad place they reside it when you think about it. 😔

    Liked by 1 person

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