Mom’s ok. On paper.
Her stitches were taken out by a younger than me man who remembered her from when he was in grade school. It was interesting. Last year there was a covered tray with sterile equipment and the person used gloves on both hands. This guy put a glove on the hand using the scissors he’d brought in from a different room and wiped off with a paper towel. He wiped off all his tools with a towel- I’m hoping they were in some sort of sterilization compound. His non gloved hand was on mom’s, feeling the stitches and manipulating her hand so they could be removed. It seemed odd. Her chest X-ray from the other day was clear. (nothing was said about the tumors in there, though) The blood test today was fast, those results will most likely be ok. The radiologist has noted her abdominal tumor is still growing slowly and is creeping up under her ribs on the right side. There is nothing they can do to stop the growth. He wanted to see if she could have some sort of nerve block for the pain she’s in.
He and her pain doctor played phone tag and finally the pain doctor called me! I was floored she talked to me. She told me what I surmised. The first nerve block mom had didn’t last very long in mom and we’d have to fly to Anchorage to have this done again. She doesn’t think mom flying that far would be a good idea. She’s truly wanting the pain to be controlled by the pump. But, mom doesn’t use it as much as she is allowed to. So, she told me I should make sure mom uses it every two hours and then give her the oxycodone (one or two every 4 hours, if needed. She hopes mom doesn’t need it.) 30 min after the bolus. She’s also noticed mom is wandering cognitively and hopes dropping oral pain meds might alleviate that. Oddly, each of the pain doctors we’ve seen have said the pain pump will keep mom alert and not inhibit life skills. The nurses all disagree. The pain doctor, radiologist, and her primary doctor agree the nurses should not drop her from their care roster. Unfortunately, if Medicare doesn’t see a need for them to visit, they won’t pay and it is expensive out of pocket. She gets re-evaluated on Friday. (Torn between a variety of professionals here!)
Listening to her as we drove back home was like watching a pin ball game. Her conversation went all over the place. It happens with and without meds. (I know it dates me to mention pinball machines. They were a lot more fun to play than watch being played. Adding a video of one for those who may not remember these cool machines. I thought maybe I could liken mom’s conversation to the game Pong, too. But, it wasn’t with beer and was played on an Atari!)
Anyway, I feel incredibly helpless as I watch and wait. This is an experience where I am an observer and I cannot do anything to change it. I can help make her comfortable. I doesn’t believe she isn’t tracking well. I know I’m not responsible for what she does. It is like being around a full grown mostly cognizant 5 year old. The tides are pulling and shaping and I can only watch. Thankfully, I can write and share my inability to make mom well enough for me to leave. (Granted, it is still my choice to stay. I guess I should just tell her she doesn’t matter and go. But, I cannot do that.)
It is one thing to flit off like I did on my ‘vacation’ last week when my friend was up. It is another to leave entirely and let my sister try to handle things. Jake called me on Thursday. She either has a torn rotator cuff or bursitis, but she still is doing the advanced swim lessons and hauling around feed for all her critters. She’s also fishing this week (remember that video I shared? Jake fishes from a boat, but it is still a lot of work with the dip net) and has to drive north to pick her daughter up at the airport. She’s stressed cuz I shared mom hadn’t done well this week. I told her I waited to tell her anything til I had more information. She freaked out and then decided I was right, because she was so busy. Then, she said I can always call her to vent. She’s got lots of time to talk while she’s feeding animals or driving. I just laughed and said I would if needed. (NOT!)
Talked to Little Bear. He attended his second fire for July. This one wiped out over 100 acres of ready to harvest wheat and was very close to several houses. He was a part of our town’s fire department, but dispatch called in 5 different departments. It was a huge response. I also found out he emptied the boxes his dad’s birthday hammock came in and put the bags of pieces on the floor of his closet. (YIKES!) I hope he can find them all or his dad might be a bit annoyed when he tries to put everything together. He thought it might be fun to drop the various bags around the house for his dad to find, but wasn’t sure how his dad would react to a bag of bolts here, some pipe there, directions taped to the TV…….I’m pretty sure he’d laugh and be annoyed at the same time.
As for me, I wish I could be back for The Craftsman’s birthday. This is the second one I’ve missed. Although, I don’t think I’d be baking cakes this year. It is going to be over 100 degrees F on Friday! I’ll take the car to the mechanic on Friday sometime, I hope. I’m sad I didn’t get to house elf for SSC this week, his lady visited and he’s been not feeling very good. (BAD house elf! Lol) I’ll try to do something when I go to town to do the errands. I have had quite a few people tell me I look great with the sun I’ve gotten. Some even have said I’ve lost weight. I’m pretty sure the latter observation is inaccurate and the former one makes me smile. I wonder if I should get a palate of blush and apply it all over every day if I look so good pinkish brown?