Pulled Up

 

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I’ve not been fishing in decades, but I do remember when you are not paying attention is when the fish seem to decide to hit your line. You are caught short and need to think about how to land your prize. Thrice the last couple of days, I’ve been caught by being lost in what I thought and not what is really going on.

The first time was where I house elf. I had a project room that I was meandering on about and someone else finished it and is using it. (The Lady) The knowledge made me feel horrible and useless, until I realized how silly I was. It couldn’t have been completed until it had been started! Oddly, too, the completion sort of changed my role. I’ll need to be more careful in my tidying  and might need to remove my personal grooming stuff stashed on an obscure shelf. Women are quite observant and this Lady may notice the ministrations of a small quiet elf! (I did NOT mean to make those sentences end with words that might rhyme!) House elves are NOT shelf elves. Shudder!!!!!!!!!

The second time was with mom. When we visited the pain doctor today, she weighed in less than last week. On July 10, she weighed 114 and is now 111.8. I was unhappy and worried til one of my good friends reminded me of something. Mom is a tiny person. According to her BMI, she could be 95 pounds and she’d be perfectly healthy. (Me, I’m very overweight. I had a dream one of my male friends from EO greeted me when I got back with a hug and the words, ‘we need to get you on a treadmill.’) So, thinking it over, Mom really isn’t doing too badly at all. She was given a new med today (Gabapentin) for the burning pain and pins and needles in her abdomen. She’s been complaining about it for months and this doctor prescribed something used for nerve damage. (I was given it a while back for my legs and feet, but since it might make me drowsy, I opted to not take it.) Mom has Ritalin to help keep her up and active (I also have that in the states, but it made me sick and I decided I’d manage). So, now mom has meds to block pain, meds to block nausea, meds to block nerve feelings, meds to help keep her awake, meds to help her sleep at night, meds to manage her enzymes, and meds in syringes to keep her alive. And those are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head! She does take most of them all by herself, I just keep an eye on what she’s doing. She did say she felt like she was in a pharmacy.

Below, I am taking care of mom’s yard on Sunday evening before it rained. (sometimes I wear shorts, sometimes bikini bottoms. It all depends on which I pull from the drawer first!)  I am also wearing tall black rubber boots. (Definitely overweight!!) I did laugh at one of my mowing incidents. I had asked SSC to elaborate on the information The Craftsman gave me and made sure everything was ok. It was and, exasperated, I decided to just use the blasted machine. It finally gave up and died on the hill, because the one thing I forgot to check was how much gas was in it!!!! (pulled  up short!!) I didn’t laugh when I ran over fresh Obi snakes (Dachshund poop) and was being chased by horseflies, though. When I finished, I decided to sit down by the lake and read, but was intimidated there by dragonflies. Not the little blue and black darning needle sized ones. These were giant black clattering creatures who wanted to land on me!!!!!! (I probably needed a shower….)

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I didn’t get this posted and found out a bit more information. Mum is not hungry this evening (it is now Tuesday. It has been a super long week!). I made hamburger stew with lots of veggies and bought those crack covered bread sticks she likes (I ate 3!). She just can’t eat. I did speak to mum’s radiologist today. He told me to be aware of things like double vision and more confusion than usual (!!!!!!!). He also said if she keeps losing weight they’ll put her on a drug that encourages it. (it is a drug that was supposed to be used for breast cancer. Unfortunately, it didn’t do much for the cancer but it did help the patients gain weight. Many women didn’t like this drug at all and now it is used more for the side effect.) When I asked about alternative solutions, he said he’ll look into a treatment where they burn the tumor. It isn’t done in Alaska, but if mom really wants it, he’ll pursue the alternatives for her. Mom, today, said if that was what was needed, she’d do it. Since the tumor is mostly in the abdomen and the ones in her chest are basically just there, he told me if the pain is controlled, she should be ok. He was very sad, but did say she was not going to survive this one. (I didn’t tell mom that part of the conversation.)

I looked at her tonight and I have to see beyond her struggling and almost ignore that she can’t do things. It is funny, though. She is not eating her dinner (she had some applesauce), she’s falling to sleep in her chair, and she hurts, but she still combed the cat a bit when she brought her almost full bowl of stew into the kitchen. (she served herself)

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Last update. Mom just threw up. This might be a long night-

7 thoughts on “Pulled Up

  1. One of my clients takes mirtazapine to help her be more hungry. I wonder if that’s what they are giving your mom. She also takes gabapentin. I was given that for my feet before I went to my podiatrist and it made me sick.
    You look great too!

    Liked by 1 person

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