I have learned a few things from this obscure experience tonight. I have learned that I need to give precise directions to mom’s house to the dispatch people. (granted, the one gal who got a bit lost didn’t hear the directions on the radio. So, it was really her fault!) I have come to the realisation that I can do whatever needs done without health care people if I just pay attention. I learned it is not appropriate to get mad at the doctors for not doing anything. (Mom didn’t want to have anything done to her and she wanted to go home. So, that is what happened.) I learned I hate driving in the dark (I already knew that, it was just brought to my attention again!) I also will not call or text people about situations until they are actually a situation.
Mom was throwing up. She threw up about 6 times in a couple of hours. I was always told to take her to the ER if she started to throw up, so that is what I did. I’m glad I called the ambulance, she even threw up in there! We got to the hospital by 1130 pm and were back home by 230 in the morning. It was a short fast visit where they gave her a spot of nausea meds in her arm and then reminded me to make sure she takes her meds before her condition gets dire.
I hated having to bully her to get her dressed, to get her up and her shoes on, and to get her jacket on. She was so sore and tired and uncomfortable, but she said she wanted to leave and they had to honor her wishes. (I was popping glucose tablets and incredibly tired, but I was not the patient!) As mom was carted from the hospital, the nurse was impressed with mom’s fortitude. She called mom a ‘pretty spry old lady.’ I laughed to myself.
Later, I found myself angry as we drove home. I thought about it and realized it was illogical. I have no one to be angry with and I’m sure the reason is cuz I was and am so tired. I just want someone else to take this choice I made away. Not that it will happen, but I can want. It was ironic. There has been a great deal of rain up here and the roads have little ‘ruts’ where the water collects. As you drive, you can get pulled into them and they make it difficult to maneuver. This is exactly where I was tonight. I was in a rut of anger for no reason what so ever. I was frustrated by circumstances of self-pity that would be easy to wallow in. But, I don’t have to go there. It doesn’t matter what is usual, I can pull away from it and make my own way. I am the one in charge. I will always be in charge and no one will ever be there to help me. As that person in charge, I must take control and keep the wheel straight and out of the water. And I must not mind the odd things that seem to appear in the road when it is dark and wet and the lights shine on things so that your tired mind sees creatures that aren’t there! (NOTE: that guy on the road waving his arms like he was doing jumping jacks was real, but I did not stop! It was more important to get mom home and who doesn’t have a cell phone to call for help if help is needed in this day and age???)