John Lennon might have said all you need is love, but I’m not sure it is entirely true. Nor, am I certain ‘love is enough.’
This is an adoption post. I’ve been adopted. My last step dad gave my little sister and me his name, for better or for worse. I went to see a judge (about the only time I had an excused absence in Jr High that was completely allowed!) and I spent ages alone with him discussing how I didn’t mind having my dad’s last name. I was glad to have been adopted, it could not have been easy for a grown man to legally become responsible for two young girls who had no real father for most of a decade.
I learned, recently, my niece is also hoping to adopt. Although, they will do this as young people (29-30’s) getting a baby. I am going to be the great aunt, so to speak, but I’m so nervous for this small one. Princess told me about the process. She and her spouse are adopting a ‘domestic’ child. (which seems awkward already) The place they are going thru is in the PNW and is an offshoot of the orphan trains of bygone years. I’m not sure I understand the program, but needless to say, they have had to fill out reams of paperwork on their families. The history of their families. The fact that Princess has a mom of 4 dads, that Princess had two dads (One who vanished and no one knows yet where he might be), and that her spouse had a dysfunctional family as well. They look this over carefully and then mom’s to be choose which yeast gets to raise their little bun. The biological parent and grandparents have visitation rights, but no actual rights. (I didn’t get this) This is to help the adopted child realise they are a member of a family or more. The whole thing seemed confusing.
Princess is in incredibly poor health, she has a stellar job, and her spouse has at least one child from a previous relationship. (He skated around child support for years, I’m assuming he’s paying that now) As our short conversation continued, I was getting a low blood sugar and feeling out of sorts. Then, Princess told me if anything happened to them, my sister would have guardianship of the child. My sister. Princess loves her ‘mommy’ very much and told me that she and her husband discussed everything and decided that ‘love was enough.’ I was certain sure my glucose was making me not hear things straight, but I did.
I decided to keep my mouth shut and hope to God if they do get a baby, they survive to help it grow up. Adoption is a huge step, I get how places want to scope out the best parents for a child, and I’m sure all those thousands they’ve spent already are for a great family. The agency is going to visit Princess and her husband at their house to see if it is an appropriate home. Princess has a Diabetic cat (she shakes when she has to give it shots, she has definite tremors), a huge loving dog, and a wonderful spot to live in the SeaTac area. I hope they don’t go further up the tree to her mom, though. Not to mention drifting to the other side where I might be!