Bridge the Affair

“In reading we must become creators. Once the child has learned to read alone, and can pick up a book without illustrations, he must become a creator, imagining the setting of the story, visualizing the characters, seeing facial expressions, hearing the inflection of voices. The author and the reader “know” each other; they meet on the bridge of words.”
― Madeleine L’Engle

I love words. I write about words often. Their cadence and how they can make a sentence come alive. Brian Jacques (a children’s author) wrote his stories for blind children. His paragraphs are incredibly visual. (I’ve probably said this before!!)  Other authors have gems of phrases inside their works which shine like a lighthouse amidst a dark sea of syllables.

I’ve had a love affair with words since I was young. I crossed over the bridge Madeleine L’Engle mentions and entered worlds I never dreamed I could imagine. I’ve written to, befriended, and fallen in love with authors, I have rolled individual sentences on my tongue like a decadent confection, and I am pleased when I can meet with a wordsmith and walk their way. I’ve tripped over vowels and consonants, tumbling their sounds in a cacophony pouring from my mouth which ends up in hilarity (for others and sometimes myself!). I have trouble spelling words and spend a great deal of time with word games to improve my vocabulary (there are some of the dumbest words out there put into games!). I often see words when they are said, so it is irritating when I can’t spell them or pronounce them!

I hear words and see their shape and often they have color. Names of people usually have color and shape and texture. Those can change over time as I learn to know someone better or as we grow away from each other. Some people have the same names and yet they look different in my head when I say them. Let me use my friends Randy as an example. First, there is Randy who is a dark, warm, solid colored, glowing in the sun fur. (he has a voice which would make him millions in a 1-800 hotline!) And Randy, who is also dark. He, however, is a very dark grained ancient glossy wood, with dark and light playing on the surface from candles. (He is mystery and comfort and a spot of danger.) Then, there is Randy. His name is made of breezy, flirty sunshine and clouds and blue sky. (peace and comfort and a bit of tease) Last, but not least, is Randy. His name is like a jack in the box toy. Colorful, you know what to expect,  you always jump, and he almost always does what he is supposed to, because that is how he’s made.

I am a visual person, sexually, too. Especially, if the visuals are words. I enjoy gifs or photos, but truly, the one thing I get off on are words. (I’ve not had the chance to enjoy many naughty podcasts, I’m not sure how those would thrill me. If I listen to people I know speak to me, that is hot!) Poetry, stories, and paragraphs of erotica are some of my favorite genre. (I often wonder how I’d react hearing someone read to me, in RL—real life, the stories I enjoy) I know if I hear a person say my name in a breathless undertone, I become melted goo and need scraped off the floor.

I enjoy getting emails and texts from people I know, I can hear their voices as they say the words I’m reading. (thankfully, almost everyone I text writes real words!) One of the problems with texts from The Craftsman are those words. Every so often, he sends me loving phrases and I can’t hear his voice say them. He rarely has said them before, he probably means them, but I can’t hear them. (I’m horrible, they often make me wonder or smile in a bit of confusion.) One of his was , ‘I better go to bed. I should have called earlier. I was being lazy. I love you.’ (He sent that after he sent a good night text and I wanted to know some things and share some things and sent several texts. He did respond to a few.) I laughed out loud when a good friend sent me this, ‘Are you here?’ I could hear her voice, and answered it right away. Or the text I got from her husband once, which made me really laugh since it was something I could hear his wife saying (I told him that and asked if I should text her back! I’m pretty sure we were chatting about mum and life).

I’ll probably write about my affair with words again. When you love something you set it free, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn’t it never was. Words are my freedom, we escape together, and we belong together. They are mine and yours. I guess it could be a poly-amorous relationship!

Birthday Cat Nips

“Living, being in the world, was a much greater and stranger thing than she had ever dreamed.’ Ursula K. Le Guin.

My birthday isn’t until the first, but since I try to post these on Wednesday, I’ll share early!

We got my first cat when we moved to Alaska. Here I am with Rainier, named after the beer. I was unaware there was a mountain of that name, too. (The neighbor had a lovely black and white brother kitty we called Budweiser. It was Alaska in the 70’s, kids naming a cat after a favorite family beer was normal!) I think I was 5 or 6 in this photo and it was not on my birthday, I had the measles for my 6^th birthday!

Growing up, there were more dogs in my childhood than cats. I remember the cats the best. The two who lived with us the longest were Muffin, a Siamese Manx, and Queenie, a Siamese. (Poor Queenie was a very patient cat. My sister used to dress her up all the time!) I’m thankful my years have been full of felines. They truly helped make a difficult childhood softer.

Pain and Management

What an absolute amazing awesome idea. To manage pain instead with a block instead of hard drugs. The doctor we saw on Monday thinks mum is a good candidate for a pain pump. What an incredible invention! I wasn’t sure about it, but after they gave mom a nerve block shot and she was almost the woman from a few years back, I was sold. It didn’t last more than 4 hours, but dang..if she had the ability to shoot herself with whatever is in the pump to block the pain as often as she needed. Wow! (I need to do more research, but I’m already ready to jump in the pool of pain free people.)

It was a busy Monday. We flew up on time, in spite of the windy day, and managed to miss our flight back due to the long appointment. I was in such a pother with trying to call the airline and reschedule, I walked over this ‘bridge’ and didn’t even notice! After I got to the other side, I had to go from the being on hold speaker mode to find the camera mode on my phone to take a photo. I never walk across those sorts of things carelessly!  (the photos are before her nerve block and after)

 

There was a 3 month old baby girl on the flight up, she was also on our flight back, so I went to talk to the mum. That little one was a great traveler. She only fussed for a bit before we took off the first time and it was only until the lady on the intercom stopped talking!  Turns out she has 3 older brothers and generally noise doesn’t bother her. On the way back, our stewardess was a woman who normally worked in the offices. She chatted to the guys in the front seats, or they chatted to her. They were not from around the state and were fascinated by the northern lights outside. Which was just the sunset glowing red behind the mountains.

Once in town, I went to get the car and stopped as I stepped outside the airport doors. The moose wasn’t right!!! The last time I saw it, there was a head! (The black patch in the middle of the moose body is something about how the doors work.) The photo is blurry cuz it was cold and I was shivering and it was windy and I was in a hurry. It appears that particular window was broken and needed replaced. Vandals or what? (I detest vandalism!)

I’m hoping to get out to watch the moon tonight. I’d take pictures, but the tripods are all in the states. At least, I think they are! It is still windy and I kind of want to make sure I don’t sleep all night like I have been lately.

Mum is really behaving oddly. Like she’s disjointed. She took her regular pain drugs once her block wore off on Monday night. I’m nervous about how she’s acting, but am sure she’ll be fine. She always is. I laugh about her DNR status. She doesn’t need it, she comes back all by herself! So, every time I worry, I probably shouldn’t.

When a word isn’t

Most of you know, I love words. I like the magic of putting sounds together to make a new sound (or a misleading sound meaning something else!). I enjoy the cadence of sentences when they roll off the tongue in the mind (or in audial speech). Because I hear letters as words, I sometimes get confused.

My sister, ages ago, asked me if I knew mum was Deeinar. I had no clue what that was, I wondered what sort of disease mum had been diagnosed with. And then I got it. DNR is Do Not Resuscitate. I knew this, I had helped mum sign that paperwork.

My eldest (this was sort of more than surprising, but I went with it!) asked me if I knew what Beedeessiem was. (honestly, I think bad phone reception was part of the problem with both of these words I was trying to identify). I was totally clueless on the phrase or word. I spelled it over and over in my mind trying to figure it out. When he added ‘Shades of Grey’, I felt like a total dingbat. BDSM. Yes, I do know what that is and we discussed it. I also reminded him he has been playing with ropes since a toddler and excelled with knots in scouting. (There’s not a merit badge for what he enjoys now, but everything you do becomes a part of who you are.)

When I was researching acronyms, I discovered something else (I also can’t pronounce or spell that dadburn word!). Most of the words commonly used as an acronym are actually words known as initialism. The acronym is a word created from the initial letters or syllables of other words, creating a word. NASA, for instance. Others, like the ones I mentioned above, are an acronym that isn’t pronounced as a word but must be read letter by letter. Which makes perfect sense as to why I couldn’t understand what those two ‘words’ were! I was attempting to sound out a word from letters that didn’t mean anything unless referred to by their letter. (although, since the majority of people know them as the same thing, it is ok to ignore this entire post, except for my following query!)

So, in retrospect, is most texting made up of acronyms or initialism? I’m going to sign off and say this is SWAK (not really, I don’t kiss laptop screens…or knee them!!) and do some more writing. TTFN, my friends!

An Excerpt from ages past

While perusing stuff I’d written, I ran across a cheating couple story.  I don’t think I’ve posted it before…I hope I haven’t! I put things in here all mushed together, I have no idea what I’ve shared and what I haven’t!!  I was going to post just a bit of it, but it isn’t very long. If this topic offends you, don’t read it. Otherwise, enjoy it as you wish. No sex, just wanting.

‘We have no right.’

They hadn’t seen each other in years. They had been super good friends. Friends with a tinge of desire, but they both knew nothing should happen. Yet, when they met again, it was as if they were in a suspended moment.

She answered the phone.

“Hi,” came the deep response to her own hello.

“Omigosh! How are you? Where are you? I haven’t heard from you in forever!” Her excitement thrilled through the wires and he grinned. He enjoyed calling this friend, she was always so enthusiastic. She made him feel he could accomplish anything.

“Actually, I’m fine, and I am outside your house.”

She paused briefly and then threw all caution to the wind. She had just taken a bath and was fragrant and still unclothed.

“Let me toss something on. Just walk in, the back door isn’t locked.”

Sending him to the back would give her time to scramble into a top and a skirt. She was too excited for anything else. She had wanted this friend for years, she still did. She enjoyed being around him.

She heard him come in and met him in the hallway where she jumped on her tall friend in a huge hug. She buried her face in his shoulder and kissed his neck. His hug tightened as her arms gripped him. Their faces pulled away and they gazed at each other.

“I’ve missed you.” They said in stereo.

Together, they started laughing and she slid down his body to the floor. Their hands kept hold of each other. She stepped forward and hugged him again. His arms folded around her gently. She remembered how careful he was when they had hugged before. One arm only. She nuzzled his crisp ironed shirt along the buttons and breathed in his scent. The stood like that for a minute or more.

She gently moved back and grabbed his hand.

”Let’s go and sit down and you can tell me what you are doing back.”

He allowed her to lead him to the living room and to the couch. He hesitated, but she pushed him down.

“Just sit!” she laughed at him. “Your shoes are fine and I do own a vacuum.”

She curled up next to his arm and stared into his eyes.

“So, talk.”

He did. He prattled on about his job and coming back home and his family. It was stuff he could have emailed or phoned her about, but she was glad he was sharing in person. She had missed him so much. Slowly her hand came up to smooth the beard on the side of his face.  He stopped talking and took her hand down with his.

“We have no right,” he said quietly.

“But, perhaps we do.” She responded, just as softly, after a second.

“Perhaps, in another time, another life, we did belong to each other. Perhaps our life forces recognize that and have been trying to remind us in our present world.”

He closed his eyes at her words and swallowed. He opened them again, there was a pain and longing in the depths, wrenching her heart and causing moisture to gather between her legs.

“I have always wanted you. I don’t care you are a few years older. I’ve tried to imagine you as my big sister, making you even more off limits than you already are. I’ve rationalized being with you safely. Just to be with you. No matter how long we have been apart, hearing your voice makes me happy in my soul. Seeing your smile and getting one of your hugs, thrills me to my bones.” He smiled and added, ”Bones that want to ignore any consequences and jump you, because those bones are also thrilled to see you in a braless tank top. Like the ones you constantly teased me with.”

She grinned up at him and cuddled closer to his arm, which snaked out from between them and around her. His eyes were still on hers as she nestled into him. He dropped her hand onto his leg and brought his up to cup her face.

“We have no right.” He whispered as he bent his head to kiss her parted lips.

And they gave themselves to each other, completely. In the living room, where family photos hung on the walls.

Pep Talk

I bet I can. (Is that similar to ‘I think I can’???) What is it I think I can do? I think I can go back to Oregon and be ok. I used to think how my Oregon life prepared me for this one (not exactly, but the always doing and being alone), but I didn’t realise how this last year was going to unfold. I am more alone now than I’ve ever been before in my life. And it isn’t all that bad.

In fact, returning to Oregon I’ll be busy in a totally different way. I’ll get to clean and cook (hooray!) and read my favorite books who have pining away on the shelves waiting for me (I’m sure they have been, it is a book thing!) and take long showers and know the drains will work properly (I cannot wait for this, I’m lucky I could shower at my friend’s house, but to stay in a shower for a long time…oh, the bliss!) and I will have the internet to play on as long as I want (or til the kid gets home and when I’m not doing chores!). I’d love to take a bath, but would lay odds that hasn’t been fixed yet. (Besides, I’ll have to clean it first!) I’m pretty sure I’ll be alone a great deal, but after this year, I really am getting more used to it.

Being out in the middle of nowhere, I don’t get to see many people unless I’m with mom or doing errands. Most people talk to me about her. Many people I used to talk to often don’t, we’ve grown apart. (sad fact of life.) Mum almost always asks me when my errands take too long. (I do happen to have her car!)Mum is my reason to exist.

In Oregon, I’ll be in the center of a small town. People say they miss me, few ever saw me when I was there! My favorite neighbor died last January. Others like to influence me to do things they think are better. My conversations will be limited to Little Bear and maybe The Craftsman (we don’t talk to each other very often) with an occasional cashier at the grocers or elsewhere. My phone will probably forget how to text (Katydid might text me til her boyfriend gets out of the hospital and needs her). It doesn’t matter.

I don’t know how long I’ll be there, I don’t even know when I’ll get to go, I do know things will be pretty much the same. I keep hearing how The Craftsman will ‘do something about….’ And yet, it is a great deal of work to try to change something that has been the same for a decade or more. Strider took note of it when we talked the other day. Totally surprised me. (the whole conversation was surprising!!! I’ve not heard from him since, I hope he’s not regretting telling his mom such unusual things!)

I am going to see if I can interest the man in me, but it would be easier if I was shut off. Not sure if that will happen, it took ages for me to discover it was ok to be sexual. It would be sad to have it turned off before I get used to having it! (or maybe not) Meanwhile, I’ll wait til everyone leaves for work and wake from a restful sleep with my dear little toys and remember some incredible stolen moments I will never forget. (I sincerely hope I get more of those moments, but like the jeweled beads they are, I am thankful for what comes my way—PUN!)

I’m a difficult, getting older, not entirely confident person, who isn’t a cute little thing anymore. That kind of woman isn’t liked as well as the confident, strong, lovely type. The wearing makeup, or brighter colors, or heels (lord, THOSE would kill me now!) sort. I’m the girl who wears comfy skirts, flannel and jeans and slip on shoes and who looks silly when she tries to dress differently. Maybe he would like to see me dressed up more, because it would make him feel I was doing something special. Kind of like perhaps the reason we don’t go out to eat is because he knows I like to cook and because eating at home is a comfort. Yet, I don’t really want to stuff myself into something I’ll make dinner in, eat dinner in, and then clean up dinner in! (sounds like the 50’s!)  I might wear the freshwater pearl strand I bought to a church service, but not to cook in. Unless it is a BBQ. (would freshwater pearls be fashionable at a BBQ with a flannel shirt, tank top, and skirt??)

To return to the main topic of this post, I’m fairly sure I’ll manage once I return to Oregon.

NOTE: if this post sounds a bit sad, it kind of is. In little more than a week, my baby and I will both be older. I’m going to find him a gift online and send it. I also have something I got for him in a local store and I’ll mail that on Tuesday. I have a Dairy Queen coupon I can’t print and share with him or give to the guys while I get something else. I try to remember it doesn’t matter, but I’d really like the gift card Little Bear got me for Christmas. I know it is hard for full time employees to mail stuff, but Little Bear usually gets off work at 330.  Most people find it difficult to fit me into their schedule.

Gods, I do hate to be a bother!!!!!! It is much better to remain alone and rejoice at beads when they unexpectedly roll past at stop at my feet.

The End of the Week…

It has been an interesting set of days with some glowing beads and some rather annoying dark ones. (remember, a while back I posted about how my days had moments like beads on a string? Just keeping you on task!) We’ll start just after midnight on Friday and wander around from that point.

On a normal night I turn off my phone for a short while, take a shower, turn it back on, and nap from there. I always sleep with one of the overhead lights on in my room (I have several switches for my larger room, two of them turn on single bulbs near the walls and one turns on four bulbs in the center. I usually leave one of the ‘outside’ lights on all night) and Thursday night, I didn’t have any on when I turned off my phone full of alarms to remind me to wake up. I turned off the phone and put my head on my pillow for just a minute. I woke up when I heard mum in the kitchen above me just before 8 am! Startled I turned on my phone and realized how much of the caregiving I’d missed and closed my eyes AGAIN!!! Thankfully, I was texted at 920am. My glucose was totally out of whack and all I could do was take my shot, shower, and wash a load of laundry. And feel horrible for being a terrible care giver. I ended up getting our tickets to ANC for a higher price than they were 15 days ago and was frustrated because the address of the office didn’t appear to be where google maps said it was.

I was still out of whack at lunch (it was on the lower side) but ate and rested (yes, again. Lows are awful.). I answered the house phone when it rang(mum had been resting all morning) and realized I’d not gotten mum’s paper yet. I went out and found it IN the box (twice this week!) and warmed up the car, cuz the temps had been in the negative numbers. I ran errands in town(mum was annoyed I hadn’t picked up a script while out, but that wasn’t the call I’d answered!), ended up with a terribly low blood sugar while shopping, saw a friend, and finished the afternoon with a stellar sunset. (those last two beads were almost diamonds in their shine)

Unfortunately, when I got home it was dinner time and my glucose had skyrocketed AGAIN. I took my shot and didn’t do much more til bedtime. I spoke to a friend (another crystalline bead) and got ready for bed. When I took one of my night medications, I realized after I swallowed it, I’d taken the WRONG one! I took the pill that is not going to be renewed, so now I have less and since I took it at totally the wrong time, it won’t be effective.

My doctor in the states won’t renew it til I see her. I am not going to see her on Monday like I’d hoped, so she suggested I see my regular doctor. Who is also in the states. (If I could see him, I’d be able to visit my endocrinologist!) I might just need to get the person I visited up here when I had the sinus infection for several months to see me for my Diabetes.

Now, on Saturday, I’m in the darker shades of blue again. I bought a bag of flavored popcorn to save til Thursday, but broke into it early. I ate most of my extra large Kit Kat. Changing fittings is definitely not one of those glowing bead moments! (Mum changed it around 4 am, I changed it about 8, and now it is leaking again at 130 in the afternoon) Nor is thinking about celebrations being celebrated alone. Christmas sucked. I’m pretty sure the next holiday will, too. I hope I’ll get to house elf soon. That always makes me feel better. I was going to a smidge of house elfing today, but it looks like I’m not going to be able to. I do have plans to write more and make a birthday card for a friend. (She’s going thru a bit of a rough patch) I’m also going to look for more beads. I know they are out there! (I got an email from a dear friend!!! Glowing bead alert!!)

 

What I learned from 7 castaways

 

Was talking with a friend and this idea popped up. I would love to read your thoughts!!

Growing up in AK, we didn’t have a lot of TV choices. I honestly don’t remember too many shows. I know my 4th dad always watched 60 Minutes, which was also when we wanted to watch Disney or Wild Kingdom. I was an avid fan of Emergency! (I still am!!) and we always watched Mother Moose after school. (follow the link, it is hard to explain!) Classics like Hee Haw, Lawrence Welk, and kid shows were very popular. My very favorite is and was The Electric Company. Other classics, though, were also allowed. One Adam 12, MASH, and Gilligan’s Island.

I loved everything about Gilligan’s Island. It was wacky, beautiful, and completely alien to Alaska. There are always silly things people believe about Alaska and I was a prime candidate for just as crazy ones about life in warm weather.

I didn’t know I was learning anything from TV. That is the scary part about television. It teaches, even if it isn’t wrapped up in PBS or a learning channel. Thankfully, the stuff I got from those old fashioned tv shows were wholesome humor filled lessons on life. One of my favorites, and now one of Little Bear’s, was as mentioned above, Gilligan’s Island.

This show had everything, except a way off of an island that seemed to be often peopled by characters who managed to arrive and leave in short order. Seven castaways who made us welcome as we giggled, drooled (I understand Ginger and Mary Ann were incredibly popular), empathized, and learned. What on earth did we learn??? Let me share some of my thoughts and you can add yours!

The Skipper: Just because we are in charge, doesn’t mean we are. Throwing your weight around can hurt. It’s ok to be wrong when you are in charge. It is more than ok to take charge when you know what you are doing. Trust others to do their jobs, even if they have trouble.  Believe in those around you and yourself.

Mr. and Mrs. Howell: I’m putting these two together because Lovey just sort of always seemed to belong with Mr. Howell. They taught me you can have all the money in the world and it won’t get you what you want. You should keep up appearances no matter how awful it seems to be. A name is just something to call a person. Baggage is pretty ridiculous to cart around..although, much of it did come in handy! Pack responsibly and think about what you want to carry with you (especially in your thoughts and mannerisms). Manners matter always. Mr. Howell shows the ease of generosity and Mrs. Howell reminds me to use proper English.

The Professor: Improvise. Make do with what you have. Never give up. Torn khakis look good (wait, sorry…ummm….to continue!). Everything has a use for something else. The importance of something doesn’t depend on size or quantity or even quality. No matter what you do, keep the main objective in view (the professor created a million and one cool things and never managed to fix the boat!).

Mary Ann: Twin pony tails are a perfect hairstyle. A single pony tail is a perfect hairstyle. Pulling your hair back or putting it up in a twist is a perfect hairstyle. (odd, I think most of my own hairstyles are ones Mary Ann wore….) Kindness is necessary. Simplicity is restful. It is more than ok to be a nice person. It is also a good idea to step out of your comfort zone once in a while. You can be pretty and be smart. A good cook is almost everyone’s favorite person. Being ordinary is as important as being the movie star.

Ginger: Ginger taught me how easy it was to manipulate a man by being a woman. (I have done this, not recently, but in my past when something needed done and the man who needed to do it was being a boor.) It doesn’t matter how silly you are, you just need to be beautiful. Someone is always there to help you when you need it most. Even if you think you have nothing to contribute, you can. The experiences of your past can help you today. Sewing is a handy hobby.

Gilligan: The fall guy is incredibly important. Being nice can make it easy for others to hurt you. It is absolutely ok to make mistakes of all kinds. Sometimes a mistake is the best thing to do. Communicate. (I do have trouble with this) Tell the whole story the first time. A hero isn’t always the one you expect.

OTHER STUFF: Bamboo is extremely versatile, as are coconuts. Laughter can make you feel much better. Close friendships can form out of the most bizarre experiences. (I have discovered this over and over!) Just as jewels make sparkly hooks for fishing, fishing lures make great earrings. Bamboo is biodegradable PVC pipe. Be thankful for the good things that happen. Keep yourself busy or you can go crazy. When you get lost, stick together. Fighting isn’t worth it.

THINGS THAT DON’T NECESSARILY WORK: You cannot dash around in high heels and an evening gown (prom dress) in the jungle (or woods—it was just the side of the road, but still) very well at all. Clothes don’t always end up perfectly ironed after drying in the wind and sun. Skimpy clothing allows for lots of bug bites. Most of the professor’s inventions would not work in real life.

 

Ice Cream fixes many things

Every day has new things in it. Especially when you are dealing with someone who is terminally ill. I finally got through to her newest pain doctor’s office on Tuesday. (I think I’m in like with that girl!!) When I asked what their turn around time was, the absolutely wonderful receptionist said with a diagnoses like mum’s, they’d get her in tomorrow! (I opted to have us fly to ANC on Monday.) Then, the oncologist office called and she has an appointment on Wed. Another super busy week! And one in which I canceled my appointment and will see if I can get it again later. So tired of this. At least I’ll be here for the anniversary of dad’s death. (which was the same day as my grandma’s birthday….and the one I was supposed to be born on!) I’m most likely going to miss my baby’s birthday, though.

I was so annoyed yesterday, I went out for ice cream. I laughed when I remembered one of the last times I bought some. A fellow shopper suggested a flavor (it wasn’t as good as I hoped, but it was ok. Cookie dough) and I mentioned mine. I then said it was almost better than sex. He responded I needed a different partner. I laughed and we went on our way. (remember I said almost!) I went to the post first and the ladies there said they’d go for ice cream, vanilla. I got them vanilla and I got mine and a gal behind me purchased another ice cream. (the temps were in the teens, ice cream is an Alaskan favorite. I recall reading it is the one dessert eaten the most often up here) I didn’t know the gal behind me was also delivering to the post office! To one of the high school employees. The best part was getting a treat in return. The boss made and gave me a bag of popcorn. I usually get popcorn in town, but haven’t stopped in a week or two. This was perfectly delectable! Made my whole day. Ice cream AND popcorn and texting to friends AND then I got to talk to my kid and my dinner turned out really very delicious.

I love that boy. He ended our talk with this bit of wisdom. ‘Do you know we are almost 1/12^th of the way through 2018?’ I laughed. I do miss him so much! We both cooked last night (he goes through spurts. Cooking is a lot of work and makes lots of dishes. He said the prep is really messy and he prefers simple.) He made biscuits and gravy and I fried pork chops. I never ever fry stuff, I do it badly. This actually worked and the cleanup was relatively easy. I cut up mum’s in tiny tiny bits and she said she could eat it.

Her glucose has been even more awful than usual. She’s been sleeping a lot the pain is burning and her nausea is intensifying. I’m glad we are going to the doctor next week. There is a nerve that also has something to do with nausea. (or so I’ve been told) if they can block both the pain and the nausea, she’ll be so much happier. As Strider said, though, if she doesn’t feel anything she may forget she can’t do certain activities and that may be worse in the long run. It will be interesting. My sister wondered if dad was pissed. When he died it we knew he was tired and didn’t want to be a burden anymore. This week, we could see him tossing his hands in the air, saying ‘ffft’, and hiding in the shop. (I miss dad)

Oh, and if anyone wondered about that earthquake we had, it was also interesting. I’ve never run up stairs when they were moving. (I mean, besides an escalator and that was when I was much younger and was being silly.) Mum thought the dog was shaking the bed. It was two years to almost to the day after the last large one. Actually, night. The last one was also in the early hours. Thankfully, I didn’t see Bing while out and about, the snow was gorgeous and the neighbor who came to plow exited his truck with the words, ‘it’s a winter wonderland!’ It really is!!!!

Dad gummit. Mum’s decided she wants to shower today. The temps are VERY cold and she gets super chilled after a shower. She fell asleep reading her book and is in a lot of pain today. She has had two pain pills with breakfast and refuses my help since it embarrasses her. She had to tolerate it for a while, but is fine now. She won’t wear her medical button, especially in the bathroom. She insists she doesn’t need it. Falls are so scary. (as our friend, Garfield, knows)

I already used up my ice cream carb quota this month, though. Piffle.

Frosted Paws-Cat Nips

It is the life of the crystal, the architect of the flake, the fire of the frost, the soul of the sunbeam. This crisp winter air is full of it. ~John Burroughs

The intricate fairy forms created overnight by Jack Frost have always ushered me into worlds of delight. (even when needing to scrape them off windshields) Peering through the airy feathers of ice to see what is beyond the window is magical. I always wonder what I’d see if I focused on the frost and not the ordinary world. Sometimes I try it and there is awe at how precisely those tiny spikes and curls are made. Like snowflakes, they are rarely the same. Whorls and swoops of ice frame a window or cover a pane in stunning beauty we tend to forget to notice in our annoyance to move it out of the way.

One super chilly morning, I let Moses outside. Later, I realized it had been so cold he had left pawmarks on the porch! (I always thought they’d make a great tattoo.) Jack Frost had nipped underneath our furry orange feline mid step and frozen the prints of those giant pads on the wooden boards.  What an incredible lovely reminder of a most difficult cat.