This seems to be a season of retrospection. Many bloggers or Facebookians have shared about themselves with lists of things they haven’t done, things they have done, and other assorted commentary. There are a lot of things I want to do, I don’t plan on ever getting to do them, so I don’t consider them something to chronicle. Dreams or goals don’t really exist in my world. I’m a huge fan of Doris Day’s advice of ‘Que sera, sera.’ I reckon I am a jelly fish. There were several things I decided I wanted to do before I turned 50. The summer of 2014, I did most of them. I learned to eat and appreciate onion rings. Cold pizza…how I managed to live so long without that, I’ll never know. My single, small tattoo is very precious. So glad it can’t be lost! I think I completed them all before I reached that half century mark of the next Feb.
At the moment, I do NOT want to go out and finish weed trimming mum’s yard. The neighbor kids have said they will mow for me, but I need to mark out the places they should leave! Sort of trim a perimeter around the spot needing cut. I did a bunch already, but, at the moment, my arms remind me of fresh gummy worms. Sort of limp and boneless! Mum has an electric weeder and the battery died. I was rather thankful. I am not sure how long it takes for one to charge, I figure maybe by 9pm I can go out and see how it is doing. By then, perhaps, my arms will feel better! And even if it is raining, it can still be trimmed.
I do want another book to read. I might read again the wonderful series about the elemental vampires who hunt down books thru the centuries. If I could live forever, I think I’d want to search out literature. I mentioned to my family they could get me an Amazon gift card for a late mom’s day/birthday present. (I think they were amused) I did get a book for the eldest for his birthday. I hadn’t checked the addresses and I chose the 3-7 business days route. It suggested it would arrive where I am by the 12th. I changed the address to my son’s in VA and it said it would reach him by Tuesday..which is the 4th of July. Not a business day! It will be a little late for his birthday, but that just extends the day, right?
I do NOT want to go to mum’s oncologist tomorrow. He’ll say the same things. “You are getting better slowly. You are a lot stronger than you were in December. You need lots of time to heal. Your weight is remaining steady and you should keep doing what you are doing. The tumor marker is higher (as of this week it is up in the 1500’s again), but it will go up and down. It is high, but we’ll keep an eye on it. Let’s have you come in about this time next month.” He will say this to mum and ignore me until I remind her to tell him about the possible UTI and then when I hand him the business card from her dentist. The dentist wants to chat to the oncologist about the removal of 12 of mum’s teeth. (I LIKE her dentist!)
I do need to focus on the opposite of this phrase (It is from a Diabetes blog I follow…not sure which one): “We look for what’s not working instead of what is.” I do this often in my health and in mum’s and in well lots of things! I also need to remember to refrain from the tasty things which are bad for my not so delicate waistline and blood glucose.
So, there you are. A few of my wants and not wants and what will be, will be!