This time it isn’t guilt (at the moment). This time AAAARG! OK< I forgot to mention this in my crazy day, but mom’s therapist told me she should be cut loose and I need to let her do her own meds and as much care as she can handle. So, I have been. She had all her pain meds last night (she asked me to get them for her), so I woke her at 4, because I didn’t think she could do it on her own. She couldn’t have. I woke her this morning when it was 8 am for her morning glucose and shot. She wanted to stay in bed, but opted to get up for a bit of breakfast. I asked if she wanted me to make it for her and she said she’d do it. She poured herself cereal (I measure) and grabbed her little cup of morning meds I had set out (there is no way she could have opened the new vitamin bottle, I had trouble!! Stupid safety seal). I asked if she was going to have protein with that and she said, ‘Yeah, could you make me some PB toast? It’ll help me gain weight.” She is lucky I am a well behaved child, I wanted to throw something at her.
I give her PB toast every single time she has cereal of any kind, she usually has peanut butter on her frozen waffles , and I even give her PB for snacks at night. Peanut butter is NOT going to help her gain weight today if it hasn’t in the last 7 months. And she told me yesterday, the reason she’s losing so much weight is because she needs the rest of her teeth pulled. Cancer is not a reason for unexplained weight loss. As one of my friends told me last night, she needs to grasp onto any excuse she can for her illness, but gods, it makes me so mad! It is like I’ve not done anything to keep her well.
And the worst part? My blood glucose was horrible this morning and hers was really good. Stupid.