I reached under the band of my sweats, sliding my hand inside my panties. My needs (are they unimportant? At this moment, they are not.) are pushing me to touch, to feel, to play. I remember and move to the desires I feel. Your words make me angry, so I respond. When you told me you wanted to make love and I grinned at you and said I wanted sex. Your response made me sad. You said, ‘I forgot, you don’t like lovey, dovey soft.’ But, when I told you I could do lovey, dovey, soft, you petted me (is there any other word for it?) and I went to sleep. But, I don’t want to sleep now. I flick my clit, something you haven’t touched in months. I feel my nipples respond and arch my back into my palm. Nipples  you finally noticed after almost a week. I was so glad when you discovered I had two. I wondered if they were repulsive. Frantically, I reached a peak you rarely take me. I didn’t go inside. The wetness wasn’t there when you thrust your way in and I still ached from that. I wish you had brought up coconut oil or that I had bought some. I had hoped it wasn’t needed, but I was wrong. I imagine hard scenes in my head. Submissive ones where I am used, because it is all I want, right? Thoughts of toys to help bring pleasure. Places where a lover invites another to play with me. Sex outside in areas where being caught could happen. You know few of my thoughts. They’d repel you as they excite me. I jump from the top of the mountain into clouds of memories where I have been taken and held and appreciated. All of me, not just the dutiful responsible ones. I close my eyes with my hand trapped by elastic, falling into a sleep. A sleep where escape has naked men, erect cocks, dripping pussies, and pitfalls around each corner. I’m lost and I don’t even know why. I suppose I should put all I’ve learned to become back where no one finds it. Hiding in plain sight again. Glad for what I know and have experienced and move on in a staid existence. You said things would change when I return. Will they?

Odd things from the week

While The Craftsman was here, a bazillion things got done. Things I am a tad too short to do without a ladder (which are things I do not like at all, nope, not one bit, absolutely not) or things I wasn’t sure how to do or things that just needed done. The old decrepit burn barrel my Brother in Law suggested needed manly men to remove? The Craftsman took care of it. With one hand! (seriously, the carpal tunnel surgery he had last Friday was wearing-) He cleaned out under and behind mum’s fridge. He found a horror story! 20170516_205553 I call it, ‘When Dust Bunnies Learn to Spell….’ I also took a ‘mug shot’ of the cupboard above the fridge–Mum is at least an inch shorter than I am! I am positive those mugs haven’t been touched in YEARS! IMG_6233

Then, we found not ‘freeze frames’, but a solidly dusty set of them. Can this still even be used?????????? 
He gave mum’s car a first scrub (he ran out of time to wash it again). Mum said she has washed it, but I am not entirely sure how long ago that may have been. He used a brand new car scrubbing brush we found in the garage. He tidied up my dad’s shop (mum said dad had too much stuff, but she managed to put her stuff on top of his model airplane and juke box things!). He discovered two new air pumps, one which doesn’t work–the one I had been using!!!–and filled the tires on mum’s bike for me. He cleaned mum’s grill (it was last used September, a couple of years back). He set up mum’s scanner and I found this empty booklet under where the unused scanner sat for several years. IMG_6227 I am thankful he came up. It was a different kind of experience. He didn’t really have much to do, his hand ached, so he did quite a bit of sleeping in between projects. We did manage to get out a few times and even if things were awkward every so often, I’m sad to have him leave. It was nice to not be alone in the house with mum and her dog (who bit me this week).



I was in a conversation with a friend about having sex in different places. I mentioned the phrasing we were using sounded a bit like a Dr. Seuss story and this was the response. “Feeling sexy should be silly sometimes, I always think…life is too short to be serious about something so enjoyable.” This friend is absolutely right!

It isn’t a duty. It doesn’t have to stop once children are born. It is not something to only do in the dark in a bed under covers. The ‘help to a better sex life’ books I’ve perused often seem to forget the most important thing, to have fun! Oh, there may be a mention here and there, but for the most part they appear well….dry. Like the one I shared earlier with instructions like: “Carpet Burn– HOW: The man kneels down on the carpet and brings ones knee up almost as if he is proposing. You will then kneel in front of him and move down onto him, holding his thigh in one hand and his bum in the other. You can now both thrust into each other.” (You are supposed to put down a towel to prevent the carpet burn) Another one I have suggests learning how to please a man ‘is a practice you need to hone sooner rather than later if you want your sexual buddy to stick around.’  Which makes the skills seem more difficult than they might be.

I have enjoyed intimacies I often imagine over and over. I’ve imagined more than I’ve experienced, which is probably realistic. I may never experience those things rather risque things, which is why I have an imagination! The good Doctor once said, “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.” I like looking thru the wrong end of the telescope, every so often I’ll find someone who enjoys it as much as I do and therein lies the fantasy!


lokireads Those in my family have always amused ourselves with the thought that mum is immortal. My sister and I have often said if anyone called to say mum had died, we’d tell them to let her rest and check her in 20 min. I have always enjoyed mythology and the immortals. Mum really isn’t one of them. I love Loki (part of that might just be Tom Hiddleston in recent years….) and Norse gods and goddesses  (must be my Scandinavian background). However, I am going to tell you something so cool, it is better than mythical heroes. Or at least, I think so! I, Kris, am now immortal.

I am not AN immortal, but I will live forever and ever. It is all because I bake and mail favorite authors treats. Yes, I am in a book. I still can’t believe it and I read it! Let me ‘splain. Lori Wilson is a FB friend. I’ve never actually met her, our paths haven’t managed to cross just yet in the real world. They’ve come close, though! Lori is the author of 3 (so far) books about a detective named Kelly Lowe. Kelly and her team solve crimes in the Pacific Northwest. In particular, from the Portland, Or area. In her last book, Kelly and others often visit a local coffee shop run by Krissy. Brews ‘n Buns, I believe, is the name of this establishment. Krissy is everything I’d love to be and some of what I actually am!!! She even uses the word ‘Piffle!’ I was very thankful Krissy did’t get killed in this story. I have read authors who kill off characters after you learn to like them! I was also glad she wasn’t a murderer. Arsenic and Old Lace is one of my favorite books,  I loved the play, and  I finally uprooted the beautiful nightshade in my garden after several years. However, I would much prefer remaining the friendly neighborhood bakester  chick.

Here is the link to my friend’s book. I’m still in awe. Kris is pretty new to this immortal stuff.

Lori Wilson For the Fallen: A Detective Kelly Lowe Mystery

Jumble of thoughts

A rather long whine? frustration? or just that jumble of thoughts?

I received a box of some ‘summer’ things I had asked for. It was packed, for the most part, absolutely perfectly. Each item was put in the box precisely, so as to save space, making sure as much could go in the box as possible. It was lovely to get it, I’m not sure why he sent certain things, but I’ll enjoy having them. Except the old sports bra. I have no clue what made him put this particular item in the box. For starters, it is one I should have thrown away as it is incredibly worn out. I do wonder what he thought when he carefully folded it for mailing. Did he wonder why my bra was so old and icky? Did he know sports bras don’t look like that?

I had to laugh, though. He always does things like this. He builds me bookshelves or puts in counters or makes me stuff for the yard. He will see what I want and go completely off on his own tangent, making the end result better than what I had thought I had wanted. There is an absolutely beautiful counter in the kitchen only he can sit at, he made it for taller people (I’m a foot shorter than he is). I came home from AK one summer to find I had new dishes. I wanted some extra blue dinner plates to match the set I had purchased, but since those were out of stock, he got tan ones. A LOT of them. I boxed up all the pretty blue ones and got out my old white and gold corelle wear, which matches quite nicely. When he made and put in the trellis for a rosebush, I ended up digging up the nightshade (I know, it is poisonous, but oh so pretty!). He cleans house 100% better than I ever do, which sounds funny! I try to clean things as well as he would and he often goes and does it over later, to help me. He doesn’t really like cooking and baking, but he can and does it very well. He always cuts everyone’s hair (I totally messed up the very first and only haircut I gave our oldest son when he was tiny). He prefers to do things on his own from the yard to the house (he does have the kid  mow every once in a while and he lets me putter with plants in the garden-his often live longer- and I am allowed to paint things). He loves working on the 56 Mercury that used to be my dad’s. Working on cars is not only his hobby, it is his job. He’d love it more if he didn’t have such a dingaling for a boss. He is a true craftsman and meticulous in his work.

Having him here this next week will be interesting. Especially for mom’s day. His mom is very important to him.He is an only child, she is a widow, and he takes care of her place as well as ours (she lives just a few blocks away). The shop is  at her house, as is the Mercury. He visits with her almost every day or calls and before we moved to the town he grew up in, she would call every Sunday night at 930. Or he’d call her. I remember one experience, we had gone to a big city for an overnight and it was Sunday. He called her and didn’t tell her where we were, she’d have thought it was too extravagant. I was on the floor between his knees looking up at him while he was talking to her.Another time when we visited her, I convinced him to go to a motel for a night (we’ve done that 3 times in the 28 years we’ve been married) while she watched her two grandsons and she was absolutely disturbed by the idea. I’m glad he’ll be with her for Memorial Day. That is always a huge day. I usually put flower pots together, but am sure he’ll come up with something just as nice.

He said he wanted to take me to a movie while he was here. I reminded him I can’t leave mum in the evenings. He then asked if she just didn’t want to take care of herself or wasn’t capable. She really isn’t altogether capable. Although, I am sure she also likes having someone cater to her. She does not like being alone and if my doing for her keeps me here, by golly, she’ll let me do it!

I don’t know what to expect from this week we’ll be mostly together. The two of us don’t often do things with each other. We don’t know each other anymore, I’m not even sure we did a quarter of a century ago. He doesn’t like me to read erotica, much less write it. He doesn’t like me to dress in clothes that are too tight or show too much. As some of you might know, sex is always in the dark (did you know we now have about 17 hours of daylight now??? Very little dark!!) and vanilla as cheap tub ice cream with not a single word spoken.  But, he is incredibly kind and handsome and enjoys helping people. It will be an interesting 7 days. And after I find out why he sent me that particular bra, I’ll throw it away!!

Mum wisdom


Dropping some of the wisdom I learned from my mum.
1. I learned responsibility from mum.  As the oldest daughter of two kids who were latch key, I had to be responsible. I started watching my little sister by myself when I was when I was 5. By 4th and 5th grade, I was babysitting other babies and small kids for cash. I’ve been babysitting most of my life and am convinced this is an excellent form of birth control. Kids of all ages pooping, peeing, punching, and whatever else on you and your clothes is not fun. Especially for a teen! I’ve always been the responsible one. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to NOT be!!!
2. I have learned to be strong and not depend on anyone. Mum has had several kinds of cancers and is missing part of her colon, she has no breasts, pancreas, or spleen (the last was in 2016). She has also had 4 husbands, two of which beat her up. I look at myself and wonder why I am such a weenie! She wonders that, too. :o)
3. Mum has taught me to enjoy kids and make a difference in their lives whenever I can. I do not think I can go anywhere without running into someone who has been changed in some way by mum. Especially when they were kids. I recall her telling me one day when she was teaching in the juvie home, ‘one of the newer kids told me his dad told him he had to behave after finding out I was teaching.’
4. Mum also taught me that mom’s know EVERYTHING! I had been aware of this as a kid, but it was really brought home to me in High School. Mom went to a Methodist church in town, I went to a Baptist church a short ways from my house, my boyfriend went to a Baptist church between the two. We decided one Sunday to skip church and go on a hike. We told our parents we’d be attending the other church. Monday, Mum asked where we had been. I guess that goes with the villages raising a child.                                        5. The last few years I’ve been able to be home, I’ve had a whole different take on things I’ve learned from mum. Or because of her.

I am thankful for the different kinds of lessons I learned from my mum. I wish some of them would have been less stressful than they ended up being, but I have survived and I have grown. I may not have always understood my mum, I still don’t, but I always appreciate her. Thanks, Mum.

Odd Bits

20170512_175643 This was dinner. It was all Gary’s fault. He talked on his blog update today about WP problems and then posted photo after photo of meals for one. Click the highlighted words and fall into his trap!  I was taught how to shrink photos by this friend. It was a good thing I did, this bacon cheeseburger was much more than anticipated, full size would startle the reader! At any rate, I do not think I’ll eat one of these again. I should have put a ruler next to it to show how tall it was. When you combine a deep desire for a cheeseburger with Gary’s meals (which are well above the cut of a hand formed, grilled, stacked burger), well…you get this! The worst part of my yummy super salty dinner was that I picked it up from the restaurant at 535 and didn’t even get to eat it til after 7. I was fielding phone calls, unloading the car from my trip into town, and leaving to get mum batteries for her TV remote. The remote had read it needed new batteries, so mum put some in it. She insisted they weren’t working and she wanted to change the channel. I asked if they were in right and she emphatically stated they were. She guilted me into waiting dinner (I ate the fries) to go into town (the smaller one nearby, not the larger one with amenities) because she was going to dig in the trash for the old ones. When I got back with the new batteries, she had changed the channel. It appeared she HAD put them in wrong.

I’ve been hitting the diet pepsi hard tonight. I also had two Aleve with my burger. They’d been in my pocket all afternoon waiting for a moment when I could safely take a pain killer I had never taken before. I have had a headache pretty consistently for days. It appears to have abated at this time. I may ditch the 6 or more ibuprofen a day for a couple of these!!! I’m also annoyed cuz I’m so fat (another reason to eat a loaded burger!! Stress eating!); I had washed a blanket that pilled all over everything; my spouse called and didn’t understand I couldn’t talk to him cuz I was taking care of mum; when I was finally eating my sandwich, I heard mum in the kitchen and discovered she was after a pill I had given her an hour and a half earlier; and all in all, I was a bit grouchy. Not mad, more resigned to being irritated. I then recalled a quote by Will. “Cocktails are like women. One part beauty, 4 parts temper. Add a slice of sweetness.” I rarely drink anything other than bad for you unsweetened soda pop (I was a part of a discussion on alcoholic beverages tonight….dangerous fun!), but I had a blackberry white chocolate daiquiri once which I will never ever ever forget! I really think I’d like one tonight! It’s been a long day. Week. Month. Months……Mum thinks, because her hand hurts so very much, she might have broken it in the fall she had a while back. She sees a surgeon who is supposed to assess her for carpel tunnel surgery on Tuesday. He’ll know if it is broken or not. It isn’t swollen, it just hurts a LOT when she uses it. Or tries to use it. As it is her dominant hand, it is used more than the other one and is incredibly weak. She is also very nauseated tonight, was thoroughly chilled when I put her to bed, and about an hour ago was uncovered. I covered her back up and tiptoed out of the room. Amazed, I didn’t wake up that dog!!!!!

I am still having notification problems, but I manage. Hugs and kisses!!!!! K

Second Sunday in May


I am baffled. My sister called and asked if we had plans for Mothers Day. Ummm, no. Plans with mum are hard to make. Then, I mentioned The Craftsman was coming up and he’d be here on Sunday. She asked if we wanted her to stay with mum so we could go on a date. I said it wasn’t necessary, then I was stupid and told her we don’t go on dates. It just isn’t something we do. Besides, what would she do but irritate mum? Mum would not go to the bathroom if anyone was here ( it smells really bad and embarrasses mum), my sister could not administer insulin, and nor would mum nap.

Later, I asked mum if we could have my sister and her family come over for dinner. Mum’s comments: ‘They can’t eat anything.’ ‘What would I cook for them?’ ‘ I think L has music lessons to teach that day.’ I rolled my mental eyes 👀 at her. 1. They eat many things. 2. Mum hasn’t cooked since October. 3. No one would give lessons on the afternoon or evening of Mothers Day. It is like she doesn’t want to see them. Then she gets all upset because she hasn’t seen them. I then suggested a before dinner dessert of strawberries and short cake. She won’t have time to bitch at my sister about homeschooling (my sister was frustrated because she couldn’t find more than a couple of days teaching on the Korean War and I told mum) and she can’t tear into my BiL for taking his family into a different faith and she can’t carp on my niece for how far behind she is and what she’d be doing in regular school. I mean, she can, but it will be super short compared to a dinner of ashes and gall.

Now, I have to talk to my sister. Can I be a chicken and text her?



WP is still acting up. So, when life gives us lemons we make lemonade. I have turned off the part in the comments where I need to approve of them. So, hoping any new followers can now follow. I don’t ever get oddballs, so am not too concerned about those yet. I am scrolling thru all the posts to read and comment, I am not responding to previous ones. It is too damn much work for this lazy old lady! (I had to laugh when I read about a 52 year old lover being well aged. Yup, that is me! Well aged….like whine. WINE!

Mum is doing ok. She has been walking more and deciding she only needs pain pills most of the time instead of almost all the time.  She has a consult next week to see when she might get the carpal tunnel surgery she is supposed to need. She had blood drawn today, I am sure all those stats will be fine. She is always fine. In pain, but always fine. I spent quite a bit of a car ride talking at God earlier this week. I’m still resigned.

Kinda like my problems with WP! Resigned. It is so annoying to see that red dot near the ‘bell’ on the notifications and not be able to do a dadblamed thing with them! OK, am off again. Duty calls..or at least is a very persistent buzz. Like a mosquito!



A Paradox?


I am going to give you a couple of definitions. (A google search for definitions will pop up lots of different things, I chose these as they were first. )

Water: Also known as ‘Adam’s Ale‘. Water is a colorless, transparent, odorless, tasteless liquid that forms the seas, lakes, rivers, and rain and is the basis of the fluids of living organisms. Other definitions do not pertain to this particular topic!!!

Essence: This has a couple of main definitions which may or may not relate. I’ll put them in and you can decide. :o) 1. the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, that determines its character. OR 2.  a property or group of properties of something without which it would not exist or be what it is. OR 3. an extract or concentrate obtained from a particular plant or other matter and used for flavoring or scent.

I’ve not been feeling very good the last couple of days, but was still doing chores for mum. While out and about I noticed a beverage being sold. The name of this particular one caught my eye and made me blink.  Essence of Water. The ingredients listed were only this: carbonated water.

Query? How does one find the intrinsic nature of a tasteless liquid? Can you take the basis of the fluids of living organisms and distill it so it exists in a different form? Is it possible to obtain a concentrate from this item and use it to give the item more merit?

The things you wonder about in the check out line……… (NOTE: this company makes a raspberry sparkling water that isn’t bad!)