I don’t want to.

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Today one of MY friends stopped by to see ME and only me. We stayed outside in the softly falling snow and talked for quite a while. When they left, Mum was sort of annoyed. I had forgotten the golden rule for sick people. Visitors belong to them. But, oh…it was so nice to have someone to myself! Two someones, she brought a friend I had been wanting to meet. It made me relaise something, though. I don’t want to be responsible anymore. I don’t want to set my alarm every couple of hours all night. I don’t want to do mom’s errands and pay mom’s bills. I don’t want to change fittings and do her shots as well as mine. I want to go to a movie. I want to go to church. I want to go to the beach. I want to sleep all night. I want to see spring flowers and read in my yard full of violets. I want to wash clothes and take a shower and know the water will last the whole time.

Guess it is those wants and needs again. I know I need to be here. I know I need to take care of mom. I know, in the long run, I will be very glad I am here. 

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