The last two weeks have been an out of control train and I’m not allowed to do anything but watch the driver. She’s going to kill herself. I hope I can jump off before she derails.
This last week she has not wanted to do much of anything. Recall we got the results from her radiologist saying she was ‘good to do all manner of things, including a trip outside (to the states…the rest of the states in the lower 48 of the United States).’ From my point of view, she’s not really able to do much at all. She didn’t want her good friend to visit last Friday or Saturday. She didn’t go to church on Sunday. She stumbles often, but doesn’t fall (or at least, she hasn’t told me if she has). One day, I did find her on the floor. She said she was playing with her dog. (Plausible and probable as Obi was right next to her, but she has tripped over him before.) I heard crashing noises one night and jumped from my bed, to see what was the matter. (sheesh, I sound like I need to run to the window and throw up the sash!). Anyway, I heard her in the kitchen and she said she was trying to get a beverage bottle from the cupboard and the bottles fell out. She didn’t have anything to say as to why I heard a thud from the living room area of my ceiling. She has done a touch of weeding (I’m afraid she’ll fall into her big rosebush, but she wants to do it and it is outside and good for her) and sleeps and sleeps in a moment’s notice. (She says it is her age and that she stayed up to watch the latest Royal Wedding, which should not have continued to make her sleepy into this week…maybe) Today, we went to her pain doctor again. The doctor upped the doses. I think the one she has all the time was increased 20% and what she gets in a bolus boost was increased by another 10%, Mum was pretty out of it at the office. Even though she pretended, I think her doctor noticed mom falling asleep while waiting for the doctor to calibrate the machine. (Mom is really hurting a great deal. I wish I could make it go away.) When we were done, it was after noon (I really need to carry food with me) and mom didn’t want lunch yet. She wanted to get her new glasses first, so we did. I had assumed (silly me) we would eat in the store when we got to the place, but nope. Mom wanted her lunch in the car. So, I didn’t get anything til we got home after 130. (at dinner I mentioned I wasn’t that hungry cuz I had eaten a late lunch. Mom reminded me she ate late, too, because she didn’t eat all her lunch in the car. She had part of her sandwich in the house and didn’t finish her shake..where I ate too much and got sick from all the fats. Yuck) She’s not eating as much as she used to. Not really. She has most of her meals, but not all of them. (I took this photo of her on the 21st)
The part that makes me the most nervous is mom’s 8 pm alarm went off and I usually wait to see if she does it before reminding her. I heard her about 830 in the kitchen, so figured she was ‘ok’. About 915 I heard her say she and Obi were going on a walk about. I dashed to the stairs (it had rained and it was chilly and even if it was daylight, I wanted to make sure of what she was doing) and found out she was going to get her paper. I reminded her the paper hadn’t arrived today and I had looked 3 different times and we’d see if one would arrive in the morning. Well, it turns out she didn’t realise it was still night time. She thought it was morning. I understand this can happen in Alaska with long daylight hours, but it was still scary. She took her morning Lantus shot of 16 instead of the evening one of 4 units. She took several units of Humalog to cover her blood sugar and then ate breakfast. (we had eaten dinner at 6pm) So, her body had her dose of Humalog from her dinner she had eaten at 6 and then more for her ‘breakfast’ a couple of hours later. Thankfully she didn’t take the meds in her daily pills box. Which, I notice has only pills in it for Wednesday. Which she should have taken at the time of her real Wednesday breakfast. I wish she’d let me monitor things. She says I don’t need to do that, I’ve done it enough and she’s quite able to do things herself. (she needs to change a fitting and is sitting watching tv and reading like everything is perfectly perfect)
As for me, I finally got myself some CBD oil. I researched it and realized it would be a whole lot less stressful for my body to take than some of the prescribed meds. Like the one for neuropathy that reads (and I know, side effects cover anything that may have ever happened to people taking the drug) it may cause irritability (was told not to take it if that happened…I’m already irritable!!!) or depression (ummmm, I don’t want to do that again!) or tummy aches and headaches (like I want to add to the ones I keep getting) or blurred vision (hello? I need new glasses and when my glucose goes wonky, but vision blurs anyway!). So, I picked a tiny bottle of drops up and have started with a smidge and we’ll go from there.
I’m pretty sure I won’t get any sleep tonight, though, or get a less tension filled evening. Because I was told to keep an eye on mom by the health nurse I called after hours. I was also told to bring her insulin to my room, so she couldn’t take it. (closing the door after the horse is gone, I reckon) I didn’t do that, but I did go up and have her check her blood. Which she did quite calmly. The really cool CGM called the Freestyle Libre is not available yet. It appears the pharmacist didn’t hear back from the doctor or the doctor didn’t hear from the pharmacists. Thankfully, they remembered me at the pharmacy and resent it to the office. I wish we had it, I would find it much easier to press a remote over her arm to check her blood than have her do it on her own. (I JUST went up to see if she needed help with getting a bottle of ensure open for her lowering blood sugar and she got mad at me and said ‘I suppose you should, because I’m a baby now.’ She then opted to finish her shake from lunch.)
In Oregon, the sod in the yard wasn’t put back like I thought and are now pillars of dried out grass and dirt. I suggested planting wildflowers in the (at least 24 foot long) bit of bare dirt in the yard, but it wasn’t met with much enthusiasm. I’d push for it if I was there! Imagine, a long 3 foot wide strip of wild flowers blooming in straight line down the almost middle of a verdant green lawn. It brings smiles to the soul. I do think they are rather fortunate I’m a million miles away and can’t go and buy seeds for the empty space. Strider is finding more interesting house things with being a home owner. It appears his water systems are all messed up (hoping this stops with the kid on the East Coast. I cringe when I hear the words ‘septic system’). On the great side, he got some of the sunstones he mined cut and they are beautiful!!!! (I keep reminding him his mom would love one of his ‘costume’ stones, but I guess I will need to wait. The expensive cut gems are more than I want, but I’d love one of the ones he is polishing and putting into his own jewelry. The cut stones he’ll sell after getting them appraised.) Up north I’m reading old favorites and seeing and talking and texting people from near and far. I continue to be incredibly tired and am thinking about more things than I make time to blog. I am not even too interested in getting out the kayak. The work of hauling it down to the lake and getting in and out of it are a tad daunting at the moment. Thankfully, it’s been cold and windy! The absolute most awesome thing was identifying a bird I’ve been wondering about since 2014. It is often heard when it is dark and I don’t have the technology to identify a bird by a call. I finally spotted it today. It was a dark fast moving speck high in the sky. I was able to get the binoculars on it and mark the shape. From there, I used mom’s silhouette bird book and on my ipad started looking up birds of that dimension and their sounds. Eventually, I stumbled upon the correct avian. It was a snipe. I’d been hunting for it for years and had no idea! (please click on the link. LOTS of awesome information!)